


Pinwheel

by eyypuhreel



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Character Death, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, High School, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:55:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 36
Words: 78,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24881170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyypuhreel/pseuds/eyypuhreel
Summary: Kim Mingyu and Jeon Wonwoo were more acquaintances over friends. But a summer stuck in the city without the rest of the gang to make it less awkward made it possible to be more than acquaintances. Maybe even more than friends?*******Inspired by the One-Shot I wrote : https://archiveofourown.org/works/23703325This is already plotted-out, finished in my head. I only need to write it though some further chapters have already been written.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 73
Kudos: 247





	1. Chapter 1

It is a well-known fact that first impressions matter, more so that they last. The only time these would change would be if people move past the impressions and get to know the other person better - a connection made, and a friendship established. But sometimes, first impressions last despite the friendship and the duration it held. A deeper connection would be needed. Which is why, Kim Mingyu and Jeon Wonwoo who have been part of the same gang for almost 2 years still stuck to their first impressions of the other.

To Mingyu, Wonwoo was the quiet, mysterious type. He was also aloof and rigid – stuck in his own world of books and, he would assume, an obsession with Dungeons and Dragons or something of the like. The typical profiling of a nerd who just happened to grow up with the rowdiest boys in high school and was part of their group. Oh, and he was sarcastic too.

To Wonwoo, well... Mingyu was sure he has never really thought past his first impression since he seemed to be able to maintain the same treatment he has had all the years that they’ve been part of the same group. The same treatment when they first met. He probably thought Mingyu had too much energy in him and fit perfectly with the rest of his friends, doing something ridiculous of various degrees one minute to the next. Somebody who was able to pull being loud and chill at the same time. He was sort of like a dog, which their friends would comment from time to time.

Their group was massive that 2 years of not forging a deeper connection did not change the dynamic of their group. There was the occasional small talk and back-and-forths with certain topics – but were usually light and not that insightful.

They were a total of 10 guys in one group.  
The juniors: Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jisoo

The sophomores: Jun, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Jihoon, Mingyu, Seokmin and Hansol

All of them were childhood friends except for Jun and Mingyu - who both transferred to their present high school during their freshmen year. Mingyu was from another part of the city and Jun from another country. It’s because of this similarity that Mingyu became best friends with Jun, having to tread into unknown waters whenever their group had inside jokes that they never got. They never felt alienated though because when this happens, it would lead to a recount of the origins of such jokes that helped them form new ones. Everyone was close one way or another – it was just Mingyu and Wonwoo who didn’t find that much common ground. Even Jun would have hang-out sessions with Wonwoo since Jun was quite the bookworm, probably 3rd to Wonwoo in the group.

Both Mingyu and Wonwoo never really had any reason to take their friendship further.The rest of the group never aggressively pushed them about it either because it all fits into the dynamic. For some reason, it keeps things interesting where the rest of the group would try to make the connection for them, but it just wouldn’t work. 

It was the last week of classes for the school year. They were all hanging out by the bleachers, by the track field. It was 9 in the morning and almost all their homeroom teachers had to catch-up on checking the results of their finals because they missed out a week after exams due to a weird storm. The conversation started off with asking how everyone thought they did during the finals and ended up with them talking about their plans for the summer.

Jisoo and Hansol will be visiting their relatives back in the States and Jun will be flying back home with his family to visit his grandparents. The rest will be traveling around the country with their respective families.

“That leaves us with Mingyu and Wonwoo.” Soonyoung said while he was trying to get a piggy-back ride from Jihoon who kept trying to swat him away like a fly with a grimace. They were all chuckling before they directed their attention back to the two. Wonwoo was just staring out into the field before he turned back to the group.

“I'll be taking up summer classes.”

A couple of them raised his eyebrows at him.

“You aren’t failing, are you? I mean, last I checked you’re second in our class, just behind Jihoon here.” Jun said. 

Wonwoo shook his head. “There are a couple of classes I want to take in advance to prepare for college entrance exams.” 

With that they all visibly relaxed since they weren’t really surprised with how nerdy Wonwoo sounded. They then turned to Mingyu, waiting for his answer.

He puffed his chest and placed a fist over his heart. For some reason, the wind chose to blow at that moment, sweeping his hair from his face. It looked like a protagonist about to go on a self-righteous monologue. He smirked. 

“With a brave heart, I shall venture into the summer to learn the ways of the independent.” 

Seungcheol threw the tennis ball he was playing with and it hit Mingyu on the shoulder. The act garnered a loud laugh from the group. Even Wonwoo was snickering because of the offended look Mingyu had on his face. He started pouting and turned away from the group with a grunt, crossing his arms in front of him like a child. After a moment of silence, he turned back to the group with a grin on his face. There was no tension in the air, being used to his antics so it was easy to flow back in to the conversation.

“Well, my parents will be busy this summer so we don’t have plans to go anywhere. And since I will practically be alone with all of you buffoons abandoning me, might as well get a summer job.” He continued. Jeonghan and Jisoo nodded in understanding, eerily at the same time mimicking the vibe of approving parents. He earned a clap on the back from Soonyoung - well more of a graze on his shoulder as Soonyoung was trying reach him over Jihoon who kept pushing his arm away.

It suddenly went quiet after that, all of them just basking in the breeze that kept blowing past. Mingyu looked around and couldn’t help but feel contented. He expected the worst when he moved to this part of the city during the start of high school, when guys his age would already have a fixed group of friends to hang-out. They would rarely let a newbie in. He was grateful that he became buddies with Jun right away. Jun had a difficult time adjusting that one of the peer councilors at the time, who was Jisoo, took Jun – and Mingyu by extension under his wing and introduced them to his circle of friends. The rest was history as they sat on the bleachers, talking and laughing about practically anything and everything. He felt lucky to have found a group of friends who he knew in his heart, he could count on no matter what.

Seungcheol stood up all of the sudden, his unbuttoned shirt jacket flying with the wind as he faced the field and screamed. Jeonghan and Jisoo followed suit and the three of them hung their arms on each others' shoulders.

“Our last year of youth, boys.” Jeonghan said.

“We’ll make it count.” Seungcheol claimed.

“Together.” Jisoo added.

The three of them gave each other boyish grins before turning to the rest of the group. Seokmin was suddenly teary and leaning into Soonyoung who was patting him on the back. Jun and Hansol were beaming at them. Jihoon turned to Wonwoo, the former wearing a scowl on his face but it didn’t have any hint of malice. The latter looked at the three fondly and then the rest of the group. He last looked at Mingyu who had the same expression on his face. Wonwoo nodded and Mingyu gave him a two-finger salute and grinned. 

They all stood up, joined the three soon-to-be seniors and screamed their lungs out, cherishing the youth ringing in their ears.


	2. Chapter 2

Mingyu woke up a little past the hour of 10. It was officially the first day of summer. He spent the last "school night" out with his friends at a park near their school, talking, playing games and passing around a huge can of beer to celebrate the end of the school year. It was Mingyu’s first time drinking beer. He’s had a sip of wine and champagne from time to time when his parents brought him to a couple of charity events hosted by their company, so he wasn’t that new to alcohol. Seokmin and Hansol however found the taste gross and left the rest of the drink to the older ones to finish. They all left at around 2AM, Seungcheol bringing his car and driving the younger ones home first before taking a long drive around the city and dropping the rest of the gang off. It was a quarter past 3AM by the time he got home so he snuck-in quietly to his room to not wake his parents up.

It was a Saturday but Mingyu knew his parents weren’t home. What with his mom attending to one of their charity centers and his dad playing golf with some of his business friends. After checking his phone and sending a “Have a safe trip” text to both Jisoo, Hansol and Jun who were coincidentally flying out at noon, he went to the kitchen to prepare brunch. They had a chef during the week but were left to their own devices on the weekends since his mom really liked to cook and it made her still feel like a mom to Mingyu when she cooks during the weekend. Mingyu would find this notion ridiculous because he was always close to his mom and never felt like she was lacking. She made sure to manage her time properly, doing her function as a director of External affairs for the company and as the best mom Mingyu could ever have. He will always be grateful to her, and especially when he had to fend for himself because his mom made sure she taught him how to cook.

Stepping into the kitchen, he was contemplating what to cook when he saw a note stuck on the fridge.

> Honey, my secret french toast soak is in the fridge. Just slice up some sourdough. You know how to do the rest  
>  \- xx MOM

He threw his fist in the air. He started firing up the stove and heating up the skillet before taking out the soak and grabbing some of the sourdough. He was humming to himself while cooking and once he was done, he took a photo of it and sent it to his mom. His mom replied with a heart emoji. Mingyu chuckled – his mom was just too adorable.

Once he was finished cleaning up, he went back to his room and fired up his laptop. He meant what he said when he told the gang that he was planning to be independent this summer. He didn’t want to leech from his parents, not wanting to have any reason to be held even more accountable by his dad. Mingyu had a couple of things in mind that he wanted to buy before the start of his junior year so he started looking for summer job postings online.

He was scrolling around different sites for about an hour but had no luck in finding a good one. Almost all the postings were at a certain part of the city where he would be required to take the public transport for too long. He was aiming for somewhere a little close to home so he wouldn’t have to spend money for transport fares, probably a bus ride. He thought about going around the nearby business area where there were a couple of local businesses – maybe some of them would have openings. Firm on the decision, not wanting to waste the rest of the day, he took a quick shower and headed out of the house.

The streets were relatively empty for a Saturday – probably because it’s the first day of summer and most people were just lounging about in their respective homes. It was easy enough for him to go into the shops and restaurants and asked if they had any summer jobs open. All the shops he went into had the posts filled already, what with them posting the listings two weeks ago and having finalized it a week later. Mingyu started to feel disheartened by the 5th store he stepped-out of, too late once again for the posting. He decided to take a break and chill at a nearby café but he realized all the cafes that he knew in the area were the ones he inquired at. Still wanting to spend the rest of the afternoon at a café, he decided to take a different route hoping to find one.

After about three corners, he found a commercial building that had different businesses on different floors. What caught his attention was a sign that was held up by a cat that indicated which floor the café was on - the second floor. He realized then what a relief its location was since these buildings had slow elevators that it would better to take the stairs and he’s been walking for almost two hours straight.

He opened the door to the café and was immediately assaulted with the smell of eucalyptus, jasmine, and cat. Upon entering, he read the complete signage of the café plastered behind the reception. It was a cat café. Mingyu felt a sense of excitement and trepidation at the same time as he was an animal-lover but had a little difficulty mingling with cats.

Mingyu approached the counter and was welcomed by the receptionist, a girl who seemed to be couple of years her senior – probably 3. “Hi, Welcome to Neko Café. How can I help you today?” Mingyu smiled sheepishly before scratching the back of his head, confusion written all over his face as he browsed over the counter for the menu or pamphlet or something to help him figure out how to “go” to a cat café. Upon browsing over the counter, he saw a pile of flyers that read "For Hire". He immediately took a piece and read the contents:

**  
FOR HIRE  
Summer Attendee  
Help us attend to our customers and cats.  
Inquire inside Neko Café**

Mingyu's palms started to sweat as he was excited with the prospect of finding a summer job. He tried to calm himself though, not wanting to get his hopes up after being turned down 5 times. 

"Is this posting still open?" He asked shyly. The receptionist over the counter let out a sigh of relief before beaming at him. 

"Yes!" She answered enthusiastically. "Let's go take one of tables and talk. My name's Jieun, by the way." She said as she led them to a table nearby. Once there, Mingyu stretched his hand out to Jieun to shake her hand. "My name's Mingyu." 

"Mingyu. Great! Let's go over what the job entails and see if you're up for it." 

He nodded excitedly. 


	3. Chapter 3

"So you'll work 4 days a week, 6 hours a day which includes lunch. We open at 10AM and close at 8PM and we're closed on Sunday and Monday. You'll be the opener for the first two weeks and the closer for the next two. How about it?"

As excited as he was, Jieun was even more excited. After discussing a bit about the job - which was basically him serving drinks and watching over the cats and customers, she gave him a tour and it was evident why she was excited. They were sort-of short-staffed for the summer as some of her employees had to go back to their hometowns. She was left with just half of them which wasn't much. Only 2 out of 3 employees manned the kitchen and 4 out of 7 attendees where left which meant Jieun - who was apparently the daughter of the owner - and was technically part-owner, had to do both receiving and attending certain days.

She explained some of the terms, including his pay which would be released on a weekly basis. He can stay for longer too at the café if he wants and chill with the cats as long as he wouldn't get in the way of those on shift.

"Sounds like a good arrangement to me." Mingyu responded.

Jieun nodded her head approvingly and took out a couple of papers for him to fill-out. All the while, Mingyu eyed the cat area and saw some of the cats and he started feeling a little anxious. When he returned his attention back to the table, she was looking at him curiously.

"Is this your first time?” She asked kindly and he just nodded his head. Her eyes widened a bit at that but was replaced with an amused look. She explained how the café works.

They offered two options – one was to avail of the services of any normal café, but would not be allowed in the cat area. The café was surprisingly spacious, with the cat-free zone extending to an open balcony. Option two was for him to avail of the entry to the cat area within a fixed time frame for a certain amount which is equivalent to a set of drinks they had pre-selected. They were mostly iced drinks. The cat area was separated by a high and narrow-spaced fence. They had low tables that had cushioned floor seats that allowed people to bring in books and laptops at their own risk. One side of the room was entirely made of glass, with cat houses and beds arranged against it. The walls had either cushioned hiding holes or cushioned shelves, arranged in a way to encourage the cats to climb. She explained that they had almost 10 cats, with 6 fosters and 4 personal pets of Jieun. The area was dimly lit and the glass wall was covered by the blinders, leaving only about ¼ exposed for the cats to still look out of.

The cat area looked so cozy to Mingyu and he was excited to play with cats and hoped to finally receive affection back from the them.

"Okay I should have asked you this in the beginning because it's going to be a bit of a challenge if you answer otherwise. Are you a cat person, Mingyu?"

"I'm an animal person." He declared proudly which earned a chuckle from Jieun.

"I'll take it. You probably just need some guidance. Do you wanna go in first before we settle things here? I wouldn't want you to accept a job you wouldn't have fun with. Can't afford having you quit in the middle of it." She winked and stood up. Mingyu followed suit and he was actually excited. They placed their footwear on the numbered lockers for the customer's belongings and grabbed a couple of indoor slippers and went in. As soon as Jieun entered, 4 cats came to her which were probably the ones she personally owned.

She introduced the four of them to Mingyu:

Nam Sun, a White Persian Cat

In Na, a Blue Point Burman

Sung, a Norwegian Forest Cat and

Choon Hee, Lilac-coat Scottish Fold

The rest of the cats which were fosters were all American Short Hairs. Bo-Mi and Ae-Cha both had tabby coats, Suk and Soon who had a solid silver color, Geon who had a Tri-Color coat and Kuna with an orange coat. Jieun pointed out that it was Sung that wasn't cozy with strangers as he observed the mentioned feline moving back to one of the hiding holes after approaching Jieun to greet her.

She led him to one of the play areas where the toy and treat boxes were kept and the cats all followed them. They didn't have any customers for the day so Jieun allowed him to play and get to know the cats for a bit.

"Just sit down for a while and let them approach you. I'll play with some of them just to ease up the atmosphere. Once one of them approaches you, play it safe and scratch their head. You'll know when they start taking a liking to you if they rub themselves against you." Jieun explained as she took out some toys from the box to play with them.

Mingyu just observed, and was both amazed and jealous of Jieun at the same time how the cats seemed to just fawn over her. But he needed to keep the jealousy in check since she is technically the mom of these cats. His excitement subsided and he decided to get comfortable. He stretched out his legs in front of him and took in the vibe of the room. It exuded sort of a calm energy that was comfortable and relaxing. And the way the blinds were lowered to let some of the light peek through the gaps made the are look charming and inviting. He felt himself calm down and closed his eyes when he felt something pad over his laps.

Mingyu looked down and saw In Na, the Blue Point Burmand tread over his lap, looking for a comfortable position before curling up and looking at Mingyu expectedly. He looked over to Jieun who was observing the exchange and made scratching movements with her hands when their eyes met. Gulping, Mingyu slowly reached out this hand and gave light taps to In Na's head, the cat looking unimpressed but patiently waited for him to actually scratch her head. When he did, she closed her eyes and leaned in to his hand. He instinctively moved his hand to cup the side of In Na's head and scratched the areas he could reach and felt her purr. He looked up excited and Jieun gave him a thumbs up. He didn't mean to, but he unconsciously declared In Na as his favorite.  
As if sensing what he was thinking, In Na looked him in the eye, blinked and meowed softly. Mingyu was smitten with the kitten.

After a couple of minutes tho, the rest of the cats started gravitating towards him. Choon Hee even kneaded the side of his right thigh for a bit before circling around him. He played with a couple of them but made sure not to move too much because In Na was still on his lap. Jieun stood up then and said she'll handle the papers first and he can come our in 15 minutes or so. He nodded and went back to playing with the cats. Almost all of them rubbed themselves against him except for Suk, Geon, and of course Sung who was still in the same hiding hole he went to when they entered the cat area. Mingyu was already forming a bond with In Na, with her demanding his full attention whenever the hand that was scratching her chin would pat another cat by unimpressed meowing. She even followed him when he stood up to exit the area to go attend to the employment papers, seemingly already missing the human.

Part of him was reluctant to leave but since he was decided to take the job, he'll see her soon enough.

He filled up and signed all that needed to be signed. He would be paid $5/hour which would mean he would get paid $120 a week which wasn't half that bad considering the working conditions and hours. They agreed that he would work for 2 months.  
He didn't need to go anywhere after so he decided to avail of the cat area package of the café to get to know the cats more. He ordered an iced Americano and went into the area all on his own, locking up his belongings and except for his phone. He took pictures and played with them. They were practically all over the place by the time Jieun came in with his order and was amused at them.

"You know what, I'll give you an extra hour because you seem to be developing into a cat person now." She winked. He beamed up at her and continued playing with the cats, In Na sprawled down next to him.

He was excited to work on Tuesday.


	4. Chapter 4

His first week was, suffice to say, embarrassing. He wasn't really given the chance to train too much since they had very limited customers during the first week of summer so some of the attendees just taught him how to attend to the cats. On his first week, he accidentally knocked over one of the cat houses, knocked over one of the cat litters and almost spilled a customer's drink when In Na decided to crawl up his leg.

He met the other attendees: Kihyun, Nayoung, Yerim and Jungkook. He because close with Jungkook almost instantly as they were the same age. But all of them had pleasant working relationships. They were nice to him even though he was a "clumsy giant" as Yerim had dubbed him.

The second week was way better. He was already used to supervising the cat area and already had the hang of serving whenever it was his turn to serve outside the cat area. Mingyu was also able to help out in the kitchen when one of the cooks had to report sick due to allergies. Jieun was so relieved to find out that he could cook and was considering moving him to the kitchen permanently. But of course, Mingyu wanted to be with the cats more.

It was on his third week that things got interesting. He was finally starting the closer shift with Nayoung and Kihyun. On the Friday of that week, Jieun told the three of them that she would be leaving early that day because she had a date and would have one of her cousins come over later in the day to help with the café and bring Sung home. She told them that he would be the one to supervise the cat area with Mingyu so that Kihyun would be the one receiving the guests by then.

Mingyu arrived at the café at around 1:30PM. He made it a point to come at least 30 minutes before his shift just so he doesn't have to rush prepping at the café. He grabbed his work apron from the locker and wore it over his gray, long-sleeved shirt. Jieun didn't require them to wear uniforms since they would be wearing aprons, but she requested them to wear gray tops for a semblance of uniformity. On his first week, he only wore short-sleeved tops since that was the one he had. It was rather unfortunate because he got scratched on his arms almost everyday. The first thing he bought with his first pay was a couple of long-sleeved shirts in gray at one of the nearby surplus stores. 

By the time he stepped out of the locker room, he had 10 minutes to spare so he decided to hang around a bit at the reception area where Jieun was getting ready to leave.

"Getting ready for the date?" He teased. She just smirked and continued fixing her collar and smoothing her top from invisible creases. He was tidying up the pamphlets on adoption for the local shelter where she go the 6 other cats when her phone beeped. 

"Is that from loverboy?" He teased once more and Jieun made a flicking gesture near his forehead. He laughed.

"It's my cousin actually, he's about 5 minutes away." Her phone beeped once more and she sighed. "Kihyun's also gonna run a little late so do you mind keeping watch of the reception? My cousin knows how to supervise the cat area already since he used to work here last winter break." She made to step out behind the counter and Mingyu replaced her spot, telling her it wasn't a problem and told her to scoot away. Her date was already downstairs waiting for her. She was grumbling about him not picking her up from the shop but she consoled herself by saying that he probably had a surprise for her. Mingyu laughed before bidding her goodbye.

Mingyu was hoping for just a chill Friday. He was particularly down this week when he started missing his friends. Their group chat was full of pictures of them with their families or their trips around their provinces and he felt the city blues a little extra. The only thing he's sent them were pictures of the cats which only Jun and Soonyoung were envious of. It was also interesting to note that neither Jihoon nor Wonwoo saw any of the messages in the group chat. It was pointed out one time by Seokmin because he felt like they were ignoring him when he first shared photos and his daily video logs to the group. Soonyoung laughed and told them that the two of them intentionally put themselves on social media hiatus for the summer because of what they were occupying themselves with. Ever since then, Seokmin would call-out the two during his video log and how many days it has been since he's been ignored. He has yet to watch today's entry.

It also didn't help his blues that his dad was particularly up his business about college and how he needs to be at the top of his class in the last years of high school to get to the business school he was intending for him to apply to for. He's been nagging him for the last couple of days. His mom came to his room last night, comforting him and telling him to understand his dad because he's been too stressed since one of the business mergers he's been working on was stalled because of an old legal case the other party has not yet resolved prior to the agreement. She ruffled his hair affectionately then.

He sighed, shaking off the bad vibes the week has brought. Mingyu just really wants a chill day so he can play with the cats and de-stress. The clock on the table read 1:58PM. Jieun's cousin should be here by now.

Just as he thought, the door to the café opened. But of course he shouldn't assume that it was her cousin in case it was a customer so he did the welcome greeting.

"Hi! Welcome to Nekko caf--"

"Mingyu?"

It was a totally unexpected encounter that Mingyu wasn't able to answer him back. The other, equally surprised, tilted his head to the side blinking his eyes slowly. 

"You work for Jieun?"

And thus concluding that the guy who entered the store wasn't a customer but her cousin. And that person was Wonwoo.

To say it was awkward was an understatement. They were quiet for a while, just standing there until Nayoung came out of the staff room and noticed Wonwoo standing at the entrance before she gave a surprised yelp.

"Wow, Wonwoo. I haven't seen you in ages!" She approached him and gave his arm a pat. He turned his head away from Mingyu and looked over at hear giving her a small wave and smile.

"Yeah, it's been a while. How've you been?"

"Fine, really. Just a bummer I wasn't able to go to summer camp. What about you?" She asked him, but noticed that he wasn't looking at her. Mingyu noticed too because he was looking at him. 

Nayoung then looked back and forth between them and Mingyu noticed that small smirk she wore. His eyes widened at that which earned a chuckle from Nayoung and prompted her to nudge Wonwoo back to get his attention.

"Yeah, doing good. Summer school is interesting."

"You know Mingyu?"

"Yeah, we're in the same circle of friends."

"Oh, so you're friends?"

"Nayoung, if you're in the same circle of friends that means you're friends since it's one circle of friends." He answers a little annoyed. Nayoung just laughed and left them.

Wonwoo shook his head once she was out of sight and turned back to Mingyu who has already calmed himself from the shock.

"When you said you were gonna get a summer job, I wasn't expecting you to work at a cat café."

"Why not?" Mingyu probed and Wowoo shrugged.

"Never pegged you to be a cat person so working at a cat café would be out of the question."

"What would I have gotten as a summer job then?"

Wonwoo thought for a moment before answering. "Probably a clerk at a clothing store."

There was a moment of silence before Mingyu started laughing because the job probably suited him well. But he never thought about looking for postings at clothing stores. Wonwoo looked at him perplexed, tilting his head to the side which made his glasses slide down a bit from his nose. For some reason, that caught Mingyu's attention and he stopped laughing. Huh, weird - he thought. He collected himself and stood up from his seat behind the counter while scratching the back of his neck.

“Need me to show you anything?”

Wonwoo just shook his head, lifted his hand as a parting gesture, and went in to the staff room to get changed - how very Wonwoo, Mingyu thought.


	5. Chapter 5

He wasn't sure why he though that that was the last he would see of Wonwoo that summer. The probability of seeing him was high - what with him being the cousin of the owner of the café he was working at and apparently, his summer classes were held in a nearby building. He wasn't expecting to see him the day after however. It was a Saturday and he had the closer shift so he would have missed him bringing in Sung. But there he was, talking to Jieun at the reception area as he entered the café 30 minutes early for his shift.

Jieun smiled at him and Wonwoo just raised his hand in greeting before replacing it back under his chin.

"So I was told you knew who my dear cousin was." Jieun stated plainly but there was a hint of amusement in her eyes. Wonwoo just rolled his eyes at her and pushed himself off the counter to head to the staff room.

"Yeah, we're in the same circle of friends."

"Yes, Nayoung told me. So you're that Mingyu."

His eyes perked up at that. Mingyu tilted his head to the side, looking at her curiously and she blinked here eyes slowly at him.

"I mean you're that Mingyu he's friends with." She said slowly as she was fixing the pile of pamphlets over the table. He tilted his head to the other side, still waiting for her to explain further.

Jieun took her time arranging all the stacks meticulously and rather slowly before looking up at him, tilting her head opposite to Mingyu, eyes wide and innocent.

"He does talk about his friends to us. I can name you all if you'd like."

With that, his ears went pink and so did his cheeks as he lifted his hands up in front of him, waving frantically.

"There's no need. I was just surprised he'd talk about me."

"Why ever so?" She looked over to the digital clock perched up by the computer to make sure she wasn't holding him before his shift - he still had a good 20 minutes. His hands were now in his pockets and he just shrugged lazily.

"Wonwoo and I, we're not close." He then went on to explain how they never really had a chance to be and there was never really a need since there was no problem whenever they would hang-out as a group. Jieun just nodded slowly and pursed her lips slightly. She looked like she had something to say. He checked his watch and he had 15 minutes left. He still had to change so he started shifting his bag to signal that he needed to get going. That made Jieun chuckle. She waved her hand, signaling that he could go but not before saying something.

"Maybe this summer will change that." She said it quietly which made him think that she was probably thinking out loud but then she nodded at him knowingly. It was endearing, and Mingyu found himself shaking his head at her with a grin.

He ran into Wonwoo who was just about to leave, looking a little annoyed. For the third time that day, Mingyu tilted his head aside to silently ask but Wonwoo just shrugged and pointed to the cat area. 

"See you there." He said and left. 

Mingyu made quick work of getting ready for work as he was cutting it close. He didn't like beating the red light and liked to have a little time to himself and the cats before starting his actual shift. He felt a little antsy when he entered the cat area with just three minutes to spare but was relieved that they didn't have any customers yet.

In Na, his favorite - which he shouldn't have but couldn't help - approached him immediately and twirled around his legs, meowing appreciatively. He bent down and scratched her head. Mingyu greeted all of the cats except for Sung who was perched up on the table where Wonwoo was settled and reading, daring him to try and pet him.

Mingyu did his usual rounds, checking the litter box were emptied, the toys were clean and were safe for use still and the water dispensers with enough water. He finished in a jiffy and found himself hovering near Wonwoo where most of the cats were gathered. He was sitting by one of the floor tables and was studying by the looks of it. Not wanting to bother him, Mingyu moved away and chose a spot by the glass window where the sun was slightly peeking into the room.

Time moved slowly the moment he sat down. It was a Saturday but business was slow. They were nearing the middle of summer where plans stall and routines fall into a monotonous pace for people. It's usually around this period wherein people were actually doing nothing for the summer vacation and to add to that, the heat index would reach its peak so they preferred staying home. If it weren't for his summer job, he would be frustrated and bored out of his wits considering he was the only one among his friends left in the city - well, him and Wonwoo but they weren't close and he had summer classes so it'd be rude to bother him.

The cats would loiter around him and then attend to themselves time after time. An hour into his shift, he started to feel sleepy. Geon and Kuna were playing by his legs which were stretched out in front of him. He was practically lying down on the floor if not for the bean bag he was seated on. The warmth from the rays of the sun on his skin combined with the chill of the room lulled him to sleep in no time without him noticing.

He wasn't sure how long he was asleep for, but he was woken up by a series of light shakes of his shoulder. He opened his eyes blearily to see Wonwoo crouched down beside him.

"You shouldn't be sleeping here," he stated plainly. Mingyu immediately propped himself up, ears going red as he tried to compose himself.

"Sorry."

Wonwoo didn't reply. Instead, he gestured for him to follow him. He obliged, though with trepidation as he wasn't sure what he wanted asking him to follow him. When they reached the table where Wonwoo was reading earlier, he sat down and patted the area beside him. For the nth time that afternoon, he tilted his side curiously at the gesture. The first response was an eyeroll.

"Sit here and nap. I'll wake you when there are customers."

"Oh. Thanks I guess. But it's okay, I've napped enough."

Wonwoo scoffed which made Mingyu furrow his brows.

"Please. I've see how you are in the afternoons. You nap like a baby.. going in out of sleep. Just sit down and nap. I won't tell Jieun." Mingyu scratched the back of his neck, a little embarrassed but plopped down beside Wonwoo.

He settled himself before nodding off to sleep in no time. But he couldn't get into a deep nap and would skirt around being half-awake. At one point he gave up on napping further. He sat up careful not to bump his knees on the table because Wonwoo was now hunched over it, writing furiously. Mingyu cautioned a look and saw him trying to solve a math problem. With how much scratches and erase marks were on the paper, he could tell the other was struggling. He looked over the formula and saw what was wrong right away.

"You keep forgetting that this is a negative at this stage of the equation." He stated plainly and the moment Wonwoo lifted his head up, Mingyu took the liberty to grab the pad of paper he was working on and went through the equation step-by-step. By the time he finished with it, Wonwoo grabbed the pad and brought it to his face, as if reading it at close proximity would help him absorb everything.

"Wow, you made it look so easy." He praised and Mingy smiled shyly.

"I can help you with any other math problems."

"Really?" Wonwoo's eyes lit up which caught Mingyu off-guard. That was the first time he ever looked at him that way. He shook his head lightly, shaking the disbelief away and nodded to the other.

"Great!" He exclaimed as he pulled-out his exercise book. "Let's get started," he said, rubbing his hands in front of him with a grin.

Mingyu laughed.


	6. Chapter 6

Ever since that day, Wonwoo and Mingyu got closer. He started tutoring the older whenever he was free, which meant he frequently visited the cat cafe. It all started with them just focusing on the subject at hand but the moment they interjected their friends in their conversations - 

_"Soonyoung wouldn't have gotten that.."_

_"I can't believe Jihoon showed me the long way and convinced me that was the shortcut.."_

_"Seungcheol struggled with this you know, had to help him too. Don't tell him..."_

\- everything was smooth sailing for the progression of their friendship.

When Mingyu asked for Wonwoo's number, he was shocked to find out that his number was already saved in the other's phone.

  
"How'd you get my number?"

  
"We're part of the same group chat. Your number shows up there so I just saved it."

Mingyu was embarrassed to have admitted he didn't do the same and the only number he didn't have was Wonwoo's. He punched him in the arm then but laughed and brushed it off. But Mingyu was so bothered by it that by next day, he handed an apology to the older through home-baked cookies. That was the first time he saw Wonwoo blush. It was cute.

  
In the span of a week, they finally felt like they have been friends for two years.

  
He was now in his 5th week of working at the café, which meant he was once more part of the opener shift. On that week too, his parents had a week long business trip abroad and they also planned to extend it for a couple of days more for a quick vacation. Mingyu turned down the invite.. not wanting to be away from the cats who he's grown attached to. And, of course, he wanted to further the newly-found closeness with Wonwoo.

  
His first impression of him was still the same, that he was a sarcastic nerd. But all the snark was suddenly an endearing trait. With every smart quip that would border offense, he would take back one way or another with his subtle actions such as offering to help Mingyu out with some of his work or telling him a couple of insider info about the rest of the gang he witnessed growing up with them. Mingyu appreciated that, but didn't really mind the snark. He honestly felt closer with the other the more natural his approach was with him. Wonwoo seemed like the type that was not close to you if they were nice all around.

  
While on his way to the café for his first day of work for the week, he received a text from Wonwoo.

> Wonwoo  
>  Received 9:42, 14 July  
>  _Hey Gyu. What time are you off work today? You said you're an opener this week._
> 
> Sent 9:45, 14 July  
>  _Around 4PM. Where should we hang-out?  
>  _
> 
> Received 9:47, 14 July  
>  _There's a café nearby but Jieun will probably turn into a Weasley and have my neck  
>  for fraternizing with __the enemy. I really need to study Trig for an exam on Friday._

The Harry Potter reference did not fly past him and he had to chuckle. Mingyu thought about where they could hang-out. True enough, he didn't want to irk his boss by going to another café - but he didn't want to get in the way of the staff by loitering with Wonwoo even though Jieun wouldn't mind.. And then it hit him.

> Sent: 9:51, 14 July  
>  _What about my place? My parents are abroad and will be_  
>  _away for a while so I have it all to myself._

He tucked his phone away as he ran up the stairs to the café. It was one of the few times he was cutting it close to getting to work on time. He rushed getting ready and wasn't able to check his phone until his lunch time. All the while, he felt nervous about inviting Wonwoo over to his place. Friend normally come over without any issue, right?

  
Mingyu was really surprised with the progression of their closeness in the span of a week. Well, it was probably long overdue. They should have been able to get along so easily considering that they were in the same circle of friends. One would usually mesh with all the members of that circle, right? Mulling it over, Mingyu would dare admit he was comfortable with Wonwoo, moreso than Jun who he would consider as his best friend in the group. Once the wall was broken, it was so much easier to talk to Wonwoo - though their conversations were as random as they come.

  
"Ever wonder why silent letters exist?"

"Would the purpose of a Giraffe be any different if their necks were shorter?"

  
And the conversations would go on and on and branch off to something more serious related to existential crisis and purpose of life. That gave Mingyu a deeper look into how Wonwoo was as a person and he was honestly an interesting one.He felt like he wouldn't be bored with him.

When he took his break, he took his phone and saw that Wonwoo agreed and would just head to the café by 3PM. His shift passed by like a blur after due to it being a full day, with customers flooding in by the afternoon.

And just like that, it was 4PM. He was heading into the staff room with Yerim and saw Wonwoo seated in one of the lounge chairs. He waved up in greeting before heading straight for his locker to get his things and log-out. Wonwoo silently walked up behind him and made him jump when he asked, "long day?" A groan escaped from hi slips accompanied by a nod and he felt the other pat him in the back for comfort and stay on his shoulder. Mingyu froze a bit but collected himself - surprised by the contact and felt his skin tingle under his hand.

Once done, they both walked out of the café bidding the staff goodbye and Mingyu noticing the knowing smile plastered on Jieun's face. He raised one brow at her and she just waved him off. He shrugged, he'll ask her about it tomorrow.

After a few minutes of walking, they reached the bus stop and the fatigue suddenly made itself known that he had to lean back on one of the posts. Wonwoo looked at him worriedly.

"You sure you're up for this? I can just not go ya know, so you can rest."

"Don't worry about it hyung. Though I can't cook for you."

"You were planning to cook for me?"

Mingyu blushed. "Well, yeah. It's rude not to feed your guests, as my mom taught me." Wonwoo chuckled. "You can cook for me next time. Let's just get something delivered. My treat."

Their bus arrived then.

Once they arrived at his place, it was awkward. Wonwoo wasn't subtle with the surprised look he wore when they walked past the entrance hallway. It was a spacious, yet cozy apartment. The furniture in the living room were inviting, with warm colors contrasting a white wall. But the kitchen was modern and equaled the size of the living room with a huge kitchen island in the middle. Mingyu was starting to feel embarrassed so he rushed into his room to drop off his stuff and change, not before pushing Wonwoo to one of the high chairs by the kitchen island. Once he stepped out of his room, Wonwoo seemed to have gotten over the shock as he took out his study materials and was hunched over them.

For some reason, Mingyu stopped and just looked at the scene in front of him. He's never really had any of his friends over, he realized. Wonwoo was the first and he can't help but feel a swell in his chest. _What?_ Where'd that come from. He felt the need to rub his chest, trying to make sense of the feeling. Maybe it was a sudden appreciation of how close they were? He wasn't sure.

Mingyu can honestly say but will never tell anybody yet that Wonwoo felt new yet so familiar. Similar to how you enter a house that wasn't yours but was so cozy you couldn't help and just feel at home. _Home?_ Was the week they spent together enough really for their friendship to be this... home-y? He's been close to Jun for so long but never felt this way about the other. What was so different about Wonwoo? Was it the novelty of the situation, having known each other for so long but only having this summer be the time they broke the ice? But on nights when he'd catch himself thinking about the day he's had with Wonwoo in it, he'll admit that novelty or not, he would want this type of feeling associated to the older. He felt like home. And for the first time in a while, being practically alone in their family apartment, he didn't feel lonely because Wonwoo was there.

Maybe that was it, he thought. Maybe that was why he felt a swell and now a slight tingle in his chest. He rubbed it one more time for good measure before making his presence known. Mingyu was sure he took a while with his musings, so he found it amusing that Wonwoo didn't notice and practically jumped when he approached.

"So.. what are we getting delivered?"

The sun set in the horizon while the two of them went over a series of math equations, taking small breaks by eating through the ordered family-size pizza or talking about their friends. By the time Wonwoo couldn't absorb anymore information but was able to go through 3/4 of the exercise questions correctly, it was 9PM.

"Wow, it's that late." He checked his phone which was turned down the whole time and saw two missed call from his mother. He gulped.

"Will you get in trouble?" Mingyu asked as he made to clear up the counter and help Wonwoo fix his things.

"Nah. She knew I was gonna study today. Just didn't realize it'll be this late." He brushed off but his eyes weren't sure. At that moment, his phone rang once more. Wonwoo just stared at it, not sure what to do when Mingyu took his phone from him and answered the call.

" _Jeon Wonwoo, where are you?_ "

The voice on the other line sounded serene, it was scary.

"Uh, good evening Mrs. Jeon. This is Mingyu."

" _Oh!_ " And a bit of silence followed after that. He chanced a glance at Wonwoo who was gesturing for him to hand over the phone. He raised his hand up to him, indicating for him to wait.

"I'm sorry Wonwoo wasn't able to answer your call earlier. We were studying for his Trig exam and lost track of time. I realize as well that it's late. I'm sorry for making you worry."

" _Oh well, it is quite late and maybe dangerous. I'll just come pick him up if you could let me know where you live. Will he still be studying with you tomorrow?_ "

"You're mom's asking if you still need to study tomorrow." Wonwoo thought about it for a bit before nodding.

"He says yes."

" _Oh then, if it's not any imposition Mingyu.. would it be okay if he just sleeps over there tomorrow? I'm just concerned for his safety, 'tis all._ "

It was hard to tell if his mom was teasing but he felt slightly giddy with how she was talking to him considering the situation.

"Of course! At least that way you wouldn't have to worry. I promise our neighborhood is safe."

That was the last thing he said before Wonwoo grabbed the phone and started talking to his mom. He had a bit of an edge to him, with his jaw clenched while he was talking over the phone. That was weird.

"Mom, I'm a grown-up I don't need you to pi---

"It's not that far--

"Yes I'm going to walk there aren't any bu--

"I don't have to sleepove-

"Fine."

Wonwoo handed back the phone to him, an annoyed look on his face. He took it with both hands.

"Thank you, Mingyu for helping my Wonwoo with his studies and also for accommodating him. Text me your address and I'll be on my way."

"No problem, Mrs. Jeon. Drive safe!" He waited for her to hang-up before handing back the phone to its owner and reciting his address out loud.

"You have your own phone, here's her number." Wonwoo still looked miffed with what has transpired. Mingyu couldn't help but feel a brush of disappointment with his reaction but maybe it was related to his family relations? They haven't really talked about that yet. Maybe they could in the next few days.. if he was brave enough to venture into that topic for his own sake.

Around 20 minutes later, they were down at the lobby waiting for his mom who was 3 minutes away.

"So I guess I'm sleeping over tomorrow." Wonwoo stated.

"You don't have to if you don't want to you know." He bowed down, hands in his pockets and kicking the air in front of him. He was sure he looked like a petulant child who was told that they've had enough ice cream.

"But I need to study."

"You only have a few more problems to go through anyway."

Wonwoo sighed loudly and scratched the back of his neck while scrunching his face. Mingyu felt deflated then... adding another set of emotions he wasn't sure why he was going through.

"Do you not want me to sleep over?" The other asked in a small voice which immediately had Mingyu shaking his head, arms waving - flailing in front of him.

"Good. Because I want to."

Wonwoo laughed and Mingyu just stopped and stared, taken aback by his reply. At that moment, his mom came through the drive way and he made his way out of the lobby. The older gave him a two-finger salute before opening the car door and into the passenger seat. Mingyu couldn't even bring himself to wave goodbye.. still unsure why seeing Wonwoo laugh and look so relieved made him feel things. 


	7. Chapter 7

In all of his life, Mingyu has had no trouble with falling asleep. It was one of the things his mother was both proud and grateful for when he was growing up, saving her all the stress and hassle of making sure he was deep in slumber before she was. But that night, he found himself tossing and turning to the countless thoughts he's had of all the weird triggers and emotions he's had to go through that day. The novelty of the all the internal musings was something he still had to come to terms with, especially when it involved somebody else.

His friendship with Wonwoo shouldn't feel any different from the friendship he has with the rest of the gang. There would be instances of awe and admiration, like whenever the sun would hit Jeonghan that would support his angel agenda or when Jihoon would share poetry and would actually turn out to be a song he wrote. Those would make his chest swell, but it was because he felt proud of his friends. The chest-swelling with Wonwoo was different, especially when he had to keel slightly because of the accompanied tingles in his tummy. 

It's only been technically a week that they became this close, and it was going at such a fast pace. But why was that an issue? They probably just clicked. But why'd it take this long? What were the reservations in the past? These were some of the thoughts running through Mingyu's head that drove slumber away. Should he really be bothered by it and maybe keep distance? How would he do that though? Will he be risking the friendship if he asks for space? Why was he asking for space in the first place?

Most of all, does he even want to keep distance?

He didn't check the time anymore, knowing he'll be even more grumpy so he just closed his eyes and played a couple of songs. These thoughts do not need immediate sorting anyway. He'll just enjoy the company with his hyung.

The last song he heard before falling asleep was now the song being blasted in the apartment. His shift was already finished and they were now at his place, Wonwoo in the same spot he was in yesterday huddled over the last of his exercises and him going about the kitchen cooking their dinner. In the middle of his mise en place, the older finished the formulas and asked Mingyu to check. There were a couple of misses, but was just a result of carelessness - as simple as forgetting the negative sign of a number in the middle of the formula. The older shrugged and declared he was done studying and ready for the exam on Friday. He's honestly come a long way from he first started tutoring him and he had to give the older credit.

"What are you making?"

Wonwoo was now leaning on his arms over to where Mingyu was finishing chopping vegetables.

"I'm making beef stew."

"Oohh can I help?"

"Do you know how to cook?"

"You do. You teach me." Mingyu sighed but gestured him over looking slightly miffed. But deep down, he was actually excited. He was passionate about cooking after all, and it felt validating to have someone show interest to it.

It was a funny thing, watching Wonwoo cook. They first had to sear the beef and he actually jumped when he placed it in the dutch oven. Explaining what fond is and why it's good to have burnt pieces in food when they were claimed to be cancerous. There was also a bit of a research break when his hyung asked why wine was the best option to de-glaze a pan and what chemical properties were there to make it effective. If he were cooking alone, he would have been done with the initial preparation and would be chilling somewhere around the house, waiting for the stew to... stew. But he wasn't complaining. Watching the other be cautious and curious and impressed with little successes such as sweating the onions for exactly two minutes was a memory he would catalog under his favorites.

The stew was now stewing and he invited him into his bedroom to hang-out there. He was actually itching to finish the comic book he got in the mail over the weekend. Wonwoo was left free to explore his room as he plopped down on his bed, explaining to the other that he just needed to go through a couple of pages to finish the comic book and he'll give him his full attention. Wonwoo just waved him off and walked around the room. Good thing Mingyu made it a point to clean his room in the morning else imaging the embarrassment of having his hyung find something he shouldn't lying around.

He didn’t know why, but having his hyung around his private space like that made him feel things he can’t really define. Did he feel validated? Comfortable? At ease? Which he would muse to be funny because it’s already HIS private space so he should be getting that from the space and not the person. But, another thought for another day.

Not sure how long it's been since they settled in his room, but his concentration was broken when he heard Wonwoo ask.

"What do you plan on studying in Uni?” 

“I already told you.. I’m taking up business management because I’m to take over our business. Only child, remember?” Mingyu replied before looking over to Wonwoo from his comic book. His hyung was standing just by his study, where he had all of his study materials and a couple of photographs he took. He almost brushed it off when he saw what Wonwoo was focused on on his desk. It was a brochure from a film school. He sat up, slightly alarmed when Wonwoo grabbed it and waved it in his direction. 

After a few seconds, Mingyu sighed and reached out for the brochure. Wonwoo obliged and sat beside him. Not too close, but close enough for Mingyu to notice. 

“It’s not as if I’m at a liberty to go to film school.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I have to take care of the family business. I was raised by my dad, instilling the pride of running the company one day.” 

“Mhmm-“ Wonwoo started and then looked up at Mingyu intensely. Mingyu unconsciously gulped, he felt like he was being interrogated and it wasn’t his cup of tea. He started building up his defenses but stopped when he noticed his hyung’s gaze soften and he looked.. sad. He didn’t like that. 

“What about you though?” He asked, flicking the brochure in Mingyu’s hands.

“I mean, I haven’t seen any of your professional work but I know you like taking photos and videos. Our group photos always turn out great when you’re the one taking them. And your aura shifts when you start directing.” 

Mingyu was stunned to say the least. He wasn’t expecting Wonwoo to have observed that. But then again, Wonwoo has always been perceptive with their friends. He never thought to be at the receiving end of that because.. well, they never really were close before this summer. 

He was looking at the brochure. He saw it when he joined Seungcheol and Jeonghan one weekend go to one of those University fairs where different universities set-up their booths to entertain high-schoolers and encourage them to apply for their university. He particularly stuck with Seungcheol who was jumping from one business school to another since he was probably gonna apply to one of them - might as well get a head start. But when he was asked by Seungheol to look for Jeonghan, he wandered into the Arts section and saw a couple of students around a booth who were holding up cameras and filming around. He passed them by but was stopped, asking if they could take a photo of him. His ears went red but he nodded. They took a photo of him without him having a chance to smile, then the rest of them huddled over the camera to observe. Curious, he approached them and heard them talking about things like, exposure and shutter speed and balance. When they realized he was observing them, the guys who took his photo shooed everyone away and held the camera to him. 

“What do you think?” 

Mingyu looked over the photo. It was nice enough, but it did look like there was no balance. And he thought of how the lighting could have been better since it was such a beautiful day. He unconsciously placed a thumb over an area of the photo and said “I feel like there’s too much space here, like, unnecessarily so.” He looked up and blushed when he saw the slightly stunned look on his face. He sputtered an apology, handing stepping back from him and the camera. The guy shook and chuckled and gestured for him to come closer. Feeling embarrassed with how forward he was about his comments, Mingyu obliged. 

“You know," the guy started, "some of our freshmen aren’t that conscious yet of what you just pointed out. It’s the negative space. We usually get into that late into our first semester. You should apply to our school.” 

Mingyu blushed and shook his head. “I’m not really interested in that. I just take pictures.” He said while he was holding up his hands. The guy chuckled and handed him a brochure of their university. 

"It usually starts there." The guy followed. When Mingyu did not reply, he just nudged the brochure again in front of him.

“If you change your mind then.” He said when Mingyu took it. He bid him farewell and started looking for Jeonghan again. But there was a skip to his step.. for some reason, Mingyu felt proud.  
He still felt that even now while holding the relatively worn-out brochure in his room with Wonwoo probing him about college.

He’s never really talked about it, it was a secret he planned on keeping. He kept telling himself that he can still take photos while in business school - which is exactly what he says to Wonwoo. 

After saying that, they stayed quiet for a while before Wonwoo lifted his hand and gave him a couple of pats in the back - his hand staying there after doing so. Mingyu started feeling his ears go hot and he willed them not to before looking back at Wonwoo. 

“I’m not going to push it, Gyu. But.. I think whatever it is you want to be-,“ he paused and looked down at the brochure before looking back up at him, “you’ll be really good at it.” 

Wonwoo smiled. 

And it was that moment, Mingyu thought, with the rays of the sun lighting up his room golden as the sun was setting in the distance and the heat of Wonwoo’s hand resonating on his back that he felt.. free. 

And it was when Wonwoo beamed at him, scrunching his nose a bit and Mingyu smiled back that something for him has changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Mingyu was listening to: To Find You - Sing Street  
> From Mingyu's playlist, of course.💕


	8. Chapter 8

The stew finished stewing about an hour ago and they were huddled in the living room, watching a movie. Mingyu's empty bowl on the coffee table while Wonwoo's still in his hands, a second serving already half-way gone. The set of swears and compliments he got when he first took a bite made him so proud and he thanked his mom earnestly in his head for making sure he knew how to cook.

"I could eat this all day, every day."

"Easy now. Cholesterol ring any bells? And you know, weight. Not that it matters, just saying it might lead to complications - commonly heart disease with the rate you mentioned."

"I have really good metabolism." Wonwoo replied, puffing his chest - a hand over his heart and his cheeks filled with stew. Mingyu couldn't help but laugh out loud at the sight. He wanted to pinch the older's cheeks but refrained of course due to possible spillage of the contents of his mouth. That and, well it might not be welcome.

They were already a quarter into the movie, chosen by Mingyu of course. Wonwoo deferred his guest card and let Mingyu choose the movie to watch since he was treated to such a nice stew. He chose Captain America : The Winter Soldier. He was half-expecting Wonwoo to just sleep but then the older was all fired-up with questions about the plot. He was even more specific with his questioning - interrogating - critiquing of Captain America which is rubbing Mingyu the wrong way. Captain America was his favorite character, after all.

But he wasn't surprised when he found out who his hyung's favorite was. Of all the Marvel characters, it had to be Iron Man.

"You have got to be kidding me, hyung."

"I could say the same to you." He huffed as they directed their attention back to the confrontation scene between the two characters. They were engrossed with the fight scene before resuming their debacle.

The conversation - debate rather, continued on even when the movie was finished. The arguments kept flowing while they were cleaning up in the kitchen and tidying up the living room. Even while washing up, they still continued their debate on who's the better Avenger - almost resulting in a spit-war when they talked while brushing their teeth. Both of them were adamant their personal choice was better and would not settle for a truce.

Up until the time they were lying in his bed - big enough for two people with a friendly distance between them, the conversation continued on. The clock on the bedside table read 00:04AM.

"I'm just saying, hyung. That self-righteousness you claim is Captain America's fatal flaw is the saving grace of some."

"But he's so selective about it."

"If it benefits the right people, it's noble - like how he stood by Bucky even though the rest of the world thought he was evil. Steve believed in Bucky and fought for him."  
"The fact that he's selective about it defeats the purpose."

"But how Tony Stark is so self-absorbed is any better?"

"He may be self-absorbed, but how aware he is of himself and his shortcomings and find people to shore it up makes him well-rounded."

"But he'll never admit to that."

"No he won't. Just like how he would never admit he cares for others than what he gives himself credit for. In the end, he would willingly take the blame-" Mingyu scoffed, "okay not willingly but owns up to whatever action he took that the others would think was wrong but eventually saved a lot of people."

They were quiet after that, Mingyu contemplating Wonwoo's argument. It sort of gave him a peak into some of the aspects of him he has yet to discover. They say your favorite character, the preferences you have of them is based on a projection of yourself, whether it's who you are or who you want to be. And he couldn't help but admire Wonwoo a bit if that were the case. Not Tony Stark though.

"It would be nice to have someone risk being the bad guy just to make sure the one they love would be okay." Mingyu ended with his piece on the matter, turned off the lights and buried himself further into the sheets finally ready to sleep.  
"And it would be nice to have someone fight for you because he knows it's right.. that you're right." Wonwoo whispered into the darkness before shuffling under the blankets to get into a more cozy position.  
A couple of minutes later, the room was filled with only the sound of light snoring... and Mingyu hoped to whatever Deity that the loud beating of his heart wasn't heard too. He wasn't sure why he reacted that way, but his face was flushed and ears were hot. He kept repeating the last line Wonwoo said before going to sleep.

.. that you're right."

Mingyu tossed, turned and buried his face in a pillow - hoping that restricting his air passages quelled the sudden and unfathomable existence of the fluttering butterflies in his stomach. All because of a string of words he was sure didn't really mean anything. Right?

Damn, he really needed to sort whatever was happening to him out.

**

Despite having slept late, they both woke up early enough for Wonwoo to leave in time for his classes at 9AM. Mingyu packed some of the left over stew and handed it to him before he left the apartment. The older shot him a grateful look accompanied by a boyish grin before bidding him farewell - a two-finger salute, before stepping into the elevator.

Mingyu showered and left for work a bit after. Today, he told himself, he would try and figure out what was happening to him - taking advantage of the fact that he won't be seeing Wonwoo today. He said would like to review on his own to be sure to ace the Trig exam tomorrow.

His shift passed by him in a blur. The first few hours were busy because three families chose to have their kids' play date at the café. He had his hands full, taking care of and supervising the kids. There were four kids, twin girls and 2 boys. It was all fun when they all were too engrossed with the cats but he was suddenly bombarded with a lot of requests from the kids who were in an unspoken competition to get his attention.  
The last few minutes of the kids' time in the cat area nearly ended in chaos when In Na chose that time to be clingy with him as well and almost scratched one of the girls who pushed her off his lap and asked to be carried. He quickly picked In Na up and told the 4 of them that he'll give a piggy-back ride to whoever was the quietest and most behaved. Good thing their time ended by the time he was able to calm the cat down - but they made him promise to give them all piggy-backs next time. He patted all their heads and bid them goodbye.

He was now at the last hour of his shift, the previous one spent just playing with the cats. Now, he was just sitting on the floor staring blankly into space. The cats also chose that time to nap and was left to his own devices when Yerim left for the staff room.  
As much as he wanted to avoid thinking about his feelings, he had to address them because he was starting to feel weird how Wonwoo suddenly had an effect on him. And why was this effect so much different than their other friends? And why were tingles involved? He noticed that he noticed too much that maybe he was just overthinking things?

In literature, there exists a theory they call "intentional fallacy." It basically is interpreting things based on what they assume about the author, thus making a subjective criticism. That could be the case with Wonwoo right? The context of their situation would be something he would really look into considering that they have been acquaintances but never really friends. And in less than a month, they felt like the best of friends with their level of closeness. He had a pre-conceived notion of how Wonwoo was, and there was really no change to it now but it just became something so.. Wonwoo. Something endearing. Maybe this was him just being fond of the guy, having been deprived of a friendship with him after being acquaintances for two years and finding out that they mesh well together. Yes, he concluded. That was it.

For sure.

No doubt.

But as he was on his way home, why was he suddenly missing him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song I listened to while writing this: What Are We - Virginia to Vegas  
> From DK's playlist 💕
> 
> Shoutout to:  
> @wonlykyeom


	9. Chapter 9

He was nervous. It was already 11:53PM and he wasn’t sure why he was so nervous about how he was going to greet him. In 7 minutes, it’ll be July 17. Wonwoo’s birthday. Him and his friends had to have all their birthdays noted on their calendars after they forgot Soonyoung’s birthday once and he made a fuss. So at 11:30PM, he received a reminder for Wonwoo’s birthday and he’s nervous.

It took him by surprise with how much thought he was putting into this because in the years they’ve been "friends", a simple ‘Happy Birthday’ text would suffice. Because ever since the faithful day of Wonwoo coming into the café to take Sung home because Jieun had a date, they’ve become closer. They would talk almost every day. Well, every day he was at the café which was all the days Mingyu was on shift and via messaging at night when they were at their respective homes.

He surmised it was because he missed their group and Wonwoo was the closest one he could get to that. And at least there was a benefit to it because he can easily talk to him now. He was lightly sardonic, but never offensive. Sarcastic but knew when to actually take a joke – which was ironic because his jokes were lame. Wonwoo also had a little physical streak to him, smacking his head lightly when Mingyu says something idiotic by his standards but would chuckle and shake his head as if to say that there’s nothing he could do with this person who’s in his life. Okay, maybe that’s romanticizing it a bit. But Wonwoo – serious, cynical, intimidating Wonwoo was endearing to Mingyu because of the small snippets of the soft sides he had. The first time he saw it was with Sung and how he helped Mingyu become closer to the cat.

“You just have to act indifferent with Sung. Then he’ll notice and start giving you bit by bit. Accidental brush of the tail here, accidental bump to your leg there. He’ll sometimes snarl when he gets jealous with the attention you give the other cats. But don’t entertain him then. He’ll just come to you one day, brave with the intention of showing you he likes you and bam, instant Sung connection.” 

Wonwoo instructed, while Sung was repeatedly weaving around his arm but not getting any pets because Wonwoo was occupied with Bo-Mi. Mingyu did as he was instructed and it just took him about a day before the accidental bump on his leg. He looked and saw Sung – daring him to do something about it. But Mingyu looked away and looked for another cat to play with. By the third day, while he was on the floor, Sung climbed on to his lap and Mingyu had to stop himself from squealing from excitement. He composed himself and did a stare down with Sung until he flipped on his back and exposed his belly and gave a shy meow. Mingyu and Sung have been inseparable ever since, Wonwoo was even jealous. But then In Na started giving him the attention she used to give to Mingyu so it was an easy win.

Thinking about that made Mingyu smile and something warm started to grow in his chest. Before he knew it, he realized he felt fond of that memory and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the cats or Wonwoo.. whose birthday was just a minute away.  
He was back to panic mode, hovering over the keys thinking of what to say to him. But then again, looking at the time stamps of his past greetings, he’s never greeted him as soon as midnight so why was he doing this now? With too many questions about just one simple greeting, Mingyu decided to just wait until the morning – sure enough that Wonwoo was already asleep.

He went to this bed and plopped down while holding his phone. He brought it to his chest and closed his eyes, willing his thoughts away to welcome sleep.

In the silence of that moment, he heard a faint muffled hello – the type that would come from a phone. His eyes shot wide open as he sat up and he lifted his phone from his chest – it was still lit-up and was showing Wonwoo’s face, eyes half-closed and squinting to get used to the blare of his phone’s screen light. 

“Do you know what time it is?” Wonwoo lousily complained. He sat up as well, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Mingyu just sat there, phone held at arm’s length and wearing an expression of disbelief. He brought his hand up to his face and gave a small wave. Wonwoo scowled, but he snickered.

“What is it?” Wonwoo inquired, only showing hints of irritation at this point as he ran his fingers through his hair. He gulped unknowingly.

“It’s 2 minutes past midnight.” Mingyu stated plainly. And Wonwoo’s face contorted into something indicative of someone in the precipice of rage.

“If you called me just to tell me what time it is, I swear to all the Deities Kim Min—"

“Happy Birthday, hyung.”

There, he said it.. albeit shyly which caught him by surprise as his expression would show through the screen. Wonwoo had an equally surprised face and Mingyu was prepping himself for a very Wonwoo reply which started to help him relax – being lectured by him on the value of sleep was a welcomed normal and a sheepish grin was starting to form on his face. That shook Wonwoo out of his state and his face went blank. Mingyu was about to start a tirade of how he’s older again so he needed to treat him better and go easy with all of his sardonic remarks, feigning hurt and offense but he would give him the liberty to do so that day because it was the excuse of his birthday but he never got to it when he noticed that Wonwoo’s cheeks were a slight shade of pink with the strong contrast the brightness of his screen lit on his face.

Mingyu brought his face closer to the screen to get a better look but then the screen went black, Wonwoo obviously put the phone down. Did he drop the call? Mingyu gave it a couple of seconds before deciding to end the call. But he heard a scuffle here and there so he decided to wait. When he didn’t hear anything after that, he felt slightly disheartened so he tapped his screen twice to show the phone options. They’ve only been in the call for 6 minutes but it felt much longer than that.  
“Hyung, I’m not sure if you’re still there but that was it. I just wanted to say happy bi-“

“Thank you.” Finally a reply - a rather shy one and he was glad that his screen was still showing back, else Wonwoo would see how his ears suddenly went pink. It was a little obvious with the lighting that he had.

“I.. really appreciate you greeting me by midnight. Nobody’s ever done that before.”

“Color me surprised, hyung. Not even Jihoon hyung?”

He heard Wonwoo scoff. “He may be my best friend, but I’m pretty sure you’ve met the guy.” And Mingyu felt a little ridiculous thinking about Jihoon waiting ‘til midnight to greet Wonwoo, or anybody for that matter. He laughed.

After a while, Wonwoo finally showed his face again and he was now lying down, head propped-up on a pillow while holding his phone out horizontally. Mingyu followed suit and they just started talking like they would at the café. A couple of stories about their friends, sardonic quips here and there, weird conspiracy theories that Mingyu can’t believe Wonwoo was entertaining at that moment. Both decided to go out after his shift to celebrate, inviting whoever was in the city that could join them for dinner. Jihoon would be there of course after his part-time job at a music studio and he knew Seokmin and Soonyoung were back.

They talked for hours and when sleep was slowly calling out to them.

“Thanks again, Gyu.”

“No problem.”

“I’m.. glad you’re the first one to tell me happy birthday.”

Mingyu smiled, and Wonwoo scrunched his nose.

“Don’t tell Jihoon that or I’m back to square one with our stage of friendship and I’ve invested too much already on that dude to have to grovel for it.” He huffed and Mingyu nodded sleepily.

“Secret’s safe with me.”

They continued talking then, not anymore aware of the time but just waiting for sleep to take over. When Mingyu woke up the next day, his phone was hot in his hand and at 2% and he was left wondering who ended the call.

That was their first video call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song I listened to while writing: 멋지게 인사하는 법 (Hello Tutorial) - Zion.T feat. Seulgi


	10. Chapter 10

"So, how has your summer been so far?" Seokmin asked Mingyu.

They were at an unlimited barbecue place to celebrate Wonwoo's birthday and him acing hi Trig exam. The only ones in attendance from their gang were Soonyoung, Seokmin and Jihoon who was able to make time despite his busy internship at a music studio. The two arrived back in the city with their families after spending the first half of the summer in their respective provinces.

Mingyu was half expecting it to be awkward between him and his hyung. But when they met up after shift to head to the restaurant together, he threw an arm around the older as they walked to the bus stop, albeit awkwardly because of the height difference. But that helped ebb away the embarrassment of the situation since Mingyu kept teasing the older by hunching down to make it easier for him to cling on him. They were over it after a number of playful punches exchanged and maybe a hair ruffle from the older.

When they got to the restaurant, Soonyoung and Seokmin were already seated at the opposite sides of a table so they took the seats beside each, Mingyu beside Seokmin and Wonwoo opposite him beside Soonyoung. The meeting was loud, having proclaimed rather loudly how they missed the gang. The two made a recount of their vacations back in their provinces.

"It's been great, Seok. Working at a cat cafe is actually fun."

He was telling them about the cats and showing them pictures when Jihoon arrived and sat at the end of the table. with Wonwoo to his right and Seokmin to his left. He continued on with describing the cats to allow Jihoon to catch-up with the eating. They've had six servings of meat already.

Once he was done, and Soonyoung and Seokmin promised to go some time next week, the former turned his head toward Wonwoo who was busy grilling meat.

"What about you, Wonwoo?" He asked while making a wrap with the meat Wonwoo placed on his plate.

"I've been studying. Summer class remember?"

"Please tell me you made friends at least and have not maintained being an anti-social clam."

He huffed. "I don't need to make new friends. I have Mingyu."

Seokmin spluttered out the coke he was drinking which spilled a bit on Jihoon's hand. The death stare he received could have killed him for five lifetimes. Soonyoung grimaced at the sight before turning his attention back to Wonwoo who was now eating. Mingyu did the same but his head was down, to cover the red staining his cheeks. Good thing he wore a huge bucket hat to cover his ears.

After Seokmin finished wiping Jihoon's hand clean to the extent of pulling out disinfectant spray and wiping the older's hand with a new tissue, they both looked at Wonwoo expectantly. The center of attention, who knew they were practically begging for details, took his time chewing. Mingyu chose the wrong time to look up because Jihoon shifted his attention to him, staring at him expectantly. He gulped.

"Y-yeah. We've been hanging out." He finally answered. Seokmin jumped beside him.

"Willingly?"

Wonwoo picked up a used tissue and threw it at Seokim which hit his eye.

"Why do you make it sound like it's a chore to be around me?"

He raised his hands up in surrender, but the mood was still the same. So Mingyu decided to break it.

"Well, it wasn't really intentional. All due to coincidence since I work at his cousin's cafe."

"You work at Jieun's cafe?" It was Jihoon who asked this time. The surprise in both his and Soonyoung's face was evident but then it all started making sense to them. They nodded their heads and resumed eating.

But they were all quiet after that, the atmosphere having shifted to something akin to awkward. Mingyu didn't know how to respond to it. Why were they acting this way about their friendship? Were they really that bad of acquaintances? But there was never any bad blood between them.

He was pulled from his musings when he heard Wonwoo drop his bowl of rice noisily. Everyone else noticed and all of the attention was back to him. He heaved out a heavy sigh before looking at each member in the table.

"Listen up, you weirdos. Mingyu and I are really close friends now so stop with all the disbelief. It was a long time coming anyway. And I honestly cannot believe how you let us be like that for two years. Some friends." He picked up his chopsticks and started stuffing his face with meat.

Soonyoung then reached out and cupped Wonwoo's face and started cooing. Mingyu felt a pinch somewhere inside him at the sight.

"Awwww is our Won upset that we thought he was a cynical bastard who would taint Mingyu's light, puppy energy and did not help him pursue a friendship with him risking the pureness of Mingyu's soul?" Seokmin was laughing like a heaving seal and Jihoon just smirked.

Wonwoo made a face as if attempting to spit the food he was chewing at him, but Soonyoung acted fast and grabbed a huge pieces of lettuce and covered half of his face. The latter also tried to wrap his arms around Wonwoo to coddle him further but Wonwoo kept pushing his arms away. They were a battle of arms for a second before Jihoon threw wet napkins at them which hit both on the sides of their faces. Both of them glared at the older and retaliated, Wonwoo drinking all of his coke and Soonyoung standing up to give him noogies.

Seokmin and Mingyu were just laughing like crazy. For the first time ever, Mingyu felt fully part of the group. Wonwoo looked at him and smirked after downing the tall glass of coke and handing him the can that still had some. He laughed and drank the rest as offered.

The summer passed by fairly quickly after that. Soonyoung and Seokmin were practically at the cafe everyday of Mingyu's shift and were tasked by Jieun to help out in order to avail a discount every time they were there. With people starting to flood back into the city, she needed all the help she could get.

And just like the rest of the world, the rest of their gang started filtering in one by one. Jeonghan was back a week later followed by Seungcheol 3 days later. Jisoo and Hansol were flying back into the country the second week of August. Jun on the 3rd.  
Mingyu's job was only up until the first week of August. He decided to go out with a bang by inviting the friends that were already in the city and paid for their stay - which Jieun refused to make him pay the full amount for everybody. Mingyu was to pay for 7 people: Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Soonyoung, Seokmin, Wonwoo, Jihoon and his younger brother Chan.

Jihoon decided to bring Chan to introduce him to Mingyu since he was starting high school as a freshman. He found it easy to talk to the younger and by the end of the first meeting, they were already close enough to tease each other after an incident with In Na being confused on who she liked better between the two of them.

When the party found out that Wonwoo has slept over at Mingyu's place, they were outraged.

"He even cooked for me too." Wonwoo boasted and the series of complains flooded Mingyu's ears.

He promised them that the next time his parents were abroad for a while, they can all sleep over. Seokmin also demanded he cook for them, the exact dish he served.

"Nope." Mingyu said with a resounding pop. "I'll only make that for Wonwoo."

Seokmin was joined by Seungcheol then when they tackled him to make him agree. He chanced a look at Wonwoo who had his down as he was cooing at Sung. He wanted to know how he reacted to what he just said but his face was properly hidden. Not Jihoon though, who was looking at Wonwoo sheepishly then over to him. Their eyes met briefly but he broke it off when the assault party started tickling him.

The last week of summer was finally upon them. The whole gang was now back in the city and conveniently enough, his parents had a business trip that week. This time he asked his mom for permission for the sleep over and she agreed and enthusiastically went grocery shopping. Despite the known capacity of their group to consume an unbelievably tremendous amount of food, his mom was that enthusiastic that they still had some left enough to last a family for a week.

Everything felt easier after that summer. And Mingyu can't help but attribute that to Wonwoo who was currently making fun of Soonyoung with Jihoon who kept trying to convince everyone that he was a tiger in his previous life, the movie playing forgotten.  
Jun was with him in the kitchen, telling him of his trip back home and how there was a new guy transferring to their school from where he was from. They met back home and he was already planning to integrate the guy into their group.  
"What about you, Gyu. How'd you summer go?"

He looked around the room, surrounded by his friends who were making so much noise he was sure to get complains later. His heart swelled at the sight of their chaotic group being their chaotic selves as they started singing along to a song playing in the movie. The laughs in between as they all started swaying to the beat and singing their lungs out was a sight to behold. At that moment, his eyes landed on Wonwoo who was looking at him, cheeks flushed from laughing so much and calling him over to sit with him. Mingyu beamed and pulled Jun to join the rest of the gang.

"The best one so far."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song I listened to while writing: 9-Teen by Seventeen


	11. Chapter 11

Junior year was upon them and Mingyu was visibly thrumming with excitement. Not for the academics, no. But rather the consistency of being around his friends. One in particular stood out and he couldn't help but smile.

However, a sense of dread filled him the day before the first day of school. He was thinking maybe things will change between him and his hyung, that their closeness would dwindle since they weren't alone anymore. He was nearly overcome with the negative thoughts it brought when he received a text from the person he was worrying over. He was asking what time he was gonna head to school and if he wanted to go together. It was his mom who offered him a ride, he repeatedly had to say. They were practically attached by the hip that day.

The first week was interesting to say the least. Just as Jun said during the sleep over, there was a new guy in their year from his home country. His name was Mingao and he was fond of the number 8.

There was another who came from a far province and his name was Seungkwan. He moved into the city because all of his sisters were studying here anyway and that it his mom got an offer to teach at one of the top universities in the country. He was also very proud of his province - never failing to mention it almost every day.

Because Jisoo was still a peer councilor, well rather the head of that committee, he took in both Minghao and Seungkwan and assigned them to two other people from their gang as their official buddies. Jun was automatically paired with Minghao and Wonwoo who just joined the committee for his college application was assigned to Seungkwan. The difference between the parties involved made their lunch and after-school hangouts an interesting occasion.

And just like that, their gang went from 10 to 13 - adding Minghao, Sengkwan and Chan. Chan was the only freshman and was basically babied by everybody. Which was the state Mingyu found the youngest when he made his way to their lunch table. He was sitting between Jeonghan and Jisoo who were both trying to feed him their lunches. Chan would squirm and complain out loud but would cave and let them feed him. His face would remain red the whole of lunch because of the cooing sent his way. He really looked like a baby then.

He sat down beside Wonwoo who was holding a book with one hand and a sandwich with the other. His hyung turned from his book to face him to greet him.

"Finished cramming that paper?" He asked before taking a bite of his sandwich.

Mingyu sneered. The paper they had for History was due in the afternoon and he forgot to finish the last few parts. They both did it together the first week it was announced and since it wasn't due until another week, Mingyu procrastinated. Wonwoo nagged him a lot about it but conveniently stopped nagging when the due date was near. He sneered some more at the thought and grabbed hold oh Wonwoo's hand and took a bite off his sandwich in spite.  
They've been really close for a while now for Mingyu to notice the small hints of emotion before he fully covers it up with whatever it was he wanted to show. Wonwoo was now staring at him with disgust while scrunching his nose, but not before looking embarrassed - especially with his cheeks slightly pink.

Mingyu won't admit it, but these little things would make him think about Wonwoo and that time they were in his room talking about film school. That moment when his skin was colored warm and smile as bright as the setting sun. He was already good at compartmentalizing these things that it didn't really affect him that much - which is what he wanted to tell himself. At least he 's able to manage and hide his reactions to Wonwoo's secret reactions.

He nearly lost his composure though a week later when they were all having lunch and Seungkwan was fussing over Wonwoo who got a cold and was on a verge of a fever that day but still went to school. The younger knew beforehand that he was sick and brought him chicken noodle soup and medicine and sick-friendly treats. He even lent him a sweater which, despite Wonwoo being a head taller than Seungkwan, was too big for him.

Mingyu sat beside Minghao who he easily became close with because he hung-out so much with him and Jun. Minghao actually felt like a calming presence, grounding him when his thoughts went crazy or his emotions going off the charts. They also bonded over photography which Minghao was actively does. He even brought his camera the first day of school and wasn't shy to go around and take pictures.

He was properly sulking, biting off a carrot stick aggressively and unceremoniously dropping the rest back into his box. Mingyu avoided looking at where Wonwoo was sitting and almost burned holes on the lunch table. He missed the curious - but knowing stares of three people in their party.

"The carrot's innocent, Mingyu. Let it serve its purpose peacefully."

Minghao nudged his side and he just ripped the stick he was currently holding for effect, baring his teeth before chewing. The other just shook his head and looked over to the area he was avoiding then back at him, amused. 

"You're being obvious, you know."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah sure, you're not obviously acting like a kid whose lollipop got stolen and that lollipop was Wo--"

Minghao wasn't able to finish his sentence when an exasperated sigh resonated among their group causing them to hush and look over to the source. Seungkwan had his hands on his hips, tsking at an annoyed but sleepy looking Wonwoo.

"Wonwoo hyung, you need to eat! I even risked burning my fingers when I heated up the soup for you."

"It's missing something."

"Really? You can't just be grateful I brought you soup and just eat and now you're complaining?"

"Why are you bullying me? I'm sick remember." He replied and for effect, blew his nose and coughed. They weren't sure if that was all an act but when he blinked droopily, they knew his condition was getting worse.

"Okay okay. Then what will make you eat the soup? What's missing?" Seungkwan relented and gave up the nagging to something close to cooing - coddling really and Mingyu's fingers started to twitch.

"Carrots." He said plainly and looked over at Mingyu who had a carrot stick in one hand. All eyes were suddenly on him. Three of them were looking at him amused while the rest were just waiting on how he'll react.

Put on the spot, he panicked. He didn't have time to think what would be the implications of his actions. He wasn't even sure why that would matter. Maybe what Minghao was saying earlier got to him - about being obvious. Obvious about what? He's been going through a series of late night thoughts and a copious amount of denial of how Wonwoo was affecting him and how Seungkwan was getting on his nerves by the day as he continued to pay so much attention to Wonwoo. Oh, maybe that.  
He didn't know what would be the safest reaction looking at Wonwoo all sick with Seungkwan over his shoulder and hand over the older's head, so he did the first thing that popped in his head.

He threw the piece of carrot he had in his hand and it hit Wonwoo square on the nose.

Most of the table burst out laughing but when they calmed a bit and paid attention to Wonwoo to check his reaction, they frowned. He wasn't sure if it was because he was sick, but his eyes were red and glossy and his mouth was formed in an obvious pout. He looked down and the gang was a mess thereafter. Soonyoung and Seokmin were cooing at Wonwoo from their respective seats in the table. Seungcheol was telling him he was childish. Jun and Hansol were just shaking their heads. The rest, well he couldn't pay attention any more to them as he grabbed his lunch box and made his way over to him. Sengkwan was pulled by Jihoon to calm him because his hands were suddenly everywhere in outrage.

He immediately sat down beside the older who still had his head down.

"Hyung, I'm sorry. Here you can have the rest of my carrots." His box was still half full and he really didn't have an appetite. It took a bit of coaxing before Wonwoo looked up at him, still pouting. But after a while, he opened his mouth waiting to be hand-fed.  
Mingyu had to gulp. He looked... he refused to finish that thought but couldn't ignore the sudden loud thumping in his chest. He took one piece of carrot and raised it to his mouth.

The moment he chomped down on the carrot - Mingyu wasn't sure how to react. Because Wonwoo started chewing, the gloss in his eyes suddenly gone and he was smirking. Did he just... act hurt so that he would feed him? Should he be annoyed? Appalled? _Touched_?

What?

Before any more confusing thoughts overcame him, he made to get up and leave but Wonwoo pulled that face again and he's feeding him another stick. This went on for a bit, and he would want to leave every time.

"Just feed him, Gyu." He heard Jeonghan say who was seated across Wonwoo. "As unbelievable as it may sound, this sardonic jerk becomes a total baby when sick."

And as if to reinforce that statement, Wonwoo whined beside him when he stalled feeding him the carrots. Lunch shortly ended after that. His lunchbox cleared of all the vegetables he brought for himself. Wonwoo only finished half of the soup because he was full from Mingyu's veggie sticks. His chest swelled at that.

**

It was the second to the last period and Mingyu can tell Wonwoo was now harboring a fever. His face was red and sweating but he was shivering in his seat. He wasn't really sure what to do until the older's head fell with a thump on his desk. His seat-mate then called the attention of their teacher and he was told to bring Wonwoo to the nurse's office. The seat-mate was reluctant to touch a sick person so he took the pause of hesitation to offer doing it instead.

Once Wonwoo was settled, the nurse excused herself to make a report and call Wonwoo's mom to let her know of his condition and prescription. Mingyu tucked him in the blanket and made to leave to return to last period. He was stopped when he felt the older grab his wrist.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to class."

"But I'm sick. Someone needs to watch over me while the nurse is out."

"She'll be back soon anyway."

"What if something happens while you left me alone? My fever could skyrocket."

Mingyu scoffed. "It's just a fever. All you need to do now is sleep anyway."

And there it was again, that pout. 

"Do you.. do you want me to get Seungkwan?"

"What? Why would I need Seungkwan?"

"Well he knew you were sick before anyone else did." _Before I did_ , was what he really wanted to say but he stopped himself.

He would admit at that moment - of course only to himself, that he was jealous. He's noticed how much more time he was spending with the new guy. And yeah, sure it was because he was his peer buddy but does it really have to extend to when they were hanging-out. Well, yes he's also part of the gang now but... But Mingyu really did think that he would hang-out more with him. Seungkwan's just always there and it was really getting on his nerves. Yes, he was jealous. Fine. Only because he's spending so much time with Wonwoo who he only got close to after two years of friendship. He should be spending more time with him. It's normal, right?

Wonwoo tilted his head to the side which pulled Mingyu from his musings. He didn't just look curious.. but amused? Or is that look being pleased? Before he could categorize it, the expression flashed and disappeared like all the other secret reactions he almost has a catalog of.

"I don't need Seungkwan. I have you. You're here. This is enough."

He felt another tug on his wrist and he relented. He sat down on the edge of the bed and watched the older cuddle into the blanket before closing his eyes. Wonwoo fell asleep shortly after and Mingyu couldn't really leave because the older did not let go of his wrist.

And Mingyu felt.. relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song I listened to while writing: Only U (너만이) - 유승우 (Feat. Heize (헤이즈))
> 
> Shoutout to:  
> m, MelodyofMoonlight, won_derful, doahaeboo, Idekathispoint, yunhee  
> and all of you who gave Kudos to this story!!  
> 💕💕💕💕


	12. Chapter 12

Mingyu, who has been going through a consistent string of internal conflict, was about to lose it with everything that's happening. They were nearing the first half of the semester which meant a series of exams. The school also decided to insert a mini school-fair just to lift up the spirits of the students. It was also long overdue since they didn't have anything spectacular for the welcome back at the start of the school. Seungcheol, who was the student body president was in the throes of all of it.. which meant the whole group was because they were all volunteered by Jeonghan. A series of complaints followed when they announced it one afternoon at their spot by the bleachers but were all refuted when the three banded together and used their 'It's-our-last-year-with-you-guys' card.

In all honesty, it really wasn't that bad. He really didn't have much issues with exams. The papers though were another story. But thankfully they were scarce this time.. probably saving all their energy for the end of term requirement. What was bad was... he really hated to admit it for fear of being clingy - but it was the lack of time spent with Wonwoo. Though they were both volunteers, they were part of different committees. But the silver lining was that Seungkwan wasn't in the same committee as his hyung. That's where the silver lining ends however since they were. Good thing though that he was bunched-in with Minghao for creatives.

Minghao has been an amazing friend to Mingyu despite only being friends for about a month and a half. Despite popular belief, Mingyu wasn't an all-out extrovert. He was more of an omnivert - certain situations make him react a different way. Minghao helped him keep in-touch with his introverted self for some reason. He was grounding and they both found peace being alone and just focusing on art. Yes, art. His interest really kicked-off when he was asked to model for some of his pictures. It was an interesting affair especially when Mingao asked him to take his photos instead. He asked to directed by him and.. Mingyu just did. Their conversation started flowing on photography and his interest peaked so much after that - not just with photography but the different aspects of art. He was currently learning about Photoshop which was suggested by Minghao when Gyu felt a little frustrated with painting. And that was the reason why he was bunched in with creatives for this school fair. It was a very good distraction and had Mingyu all hopeful of the possibilities of unlocking this skill.

Their conversations were also very profound. Minghao had a different insight on things, giving him the different perspectives he didn't realize he needed to hear to make sense of what he was feeling. He even caught early on that Mingyu didn't have a good relationship with his dad.

"You're ears perk when Hoshi starts talking about his dad. Jihoon too. Actually almost everyone in the group. Gives off the impression you don't have that with your dad." He said once while they were watching Jun have training for track and field.  
"It's not that I don't have that with my dad." He said defensively, playing with the hem of his jacket sleeve.

"It's just.. something that seemed like he didn't want to pursue."

"Have you tried?"

"Loads." And he has.. asking his dad to teach him golf since that was the sport his dad was mostly preoccupied with. He got lessons from a stranger instead.

Asked his dad if he could show him how he runs the business. He got was just a tour of the company done by his secretary and a bag of company freebies while his dad ate out with his business friends.

These were some of the things he had done to try and have a deeper connection with his dad but, he just won't meet him halfway.

They were both silent for a while. Then Mingyu felt him put a hand on his shoulder for comfort.

"You know how they say "Blood is thicker than water"?"

"Yeah, yeah. Family is family no matter what."

"What? No." Mingyu just looked at him curiously. He chuckled.

"As I was saying.. that phrase, "Blood is thicker than water" is actually incomplete. The complete phrase is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Do you get what that means?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"If I were really to quote the origin of that, it talks about the blood shed together by soldiers in battle over, well the womb directly implies genetics right.. family. But it could be simply read as the bonds you've made - whether with family or not, will be more important over the simple fact that you're related by blood."

All of the things he did to try and form a bond with his dad flashed before his eyes and he felt sad. So did that mean that he was less important than he already was since his dad didn't choose to bond with him? He heard Minghao tsk beside him, as if hearing his thoughts out loud. Wait, did he? "Did I think out loud?"

"Nah, you're face said everything it needed. But backtrack a bit, Gyu. Who else have you tried to bond with?"

He thought about his mom, all the love and attention she never failed to make him feel despite working so much. She made sure to always have a weekend to have a cook-off or just to cook together and spend the rest of the weekend listening to some of her favorite songs and his in turn.

Then, he thought about Seungcheol who has been nothing but a big brother to him. Teaching him how to play basketball, inviting him over to play video games at his place. Jeonghan and Jisoo who could rival his mother with all the coddling. He would never complain about it though. Jun, who he considers his best friend. And despite being from different countries and not having that much in common - they were really close and were each other's confidant - Just like Minghao. Soonyoung and Seokmin, the hypemen of group -they never failed to make sure Gyu was included in the conversation. They made sure he and Jun had a say in group activities despite being new additions to it. Jihoon who, despite the cold-hearted and stoic facade, was actually really thoughtful and even offered to teach him how to play the guitar when they had to do something for music class. Hansol too was thoughtful in his own chill way and somehow just knew when you needed someone and he's automatically there.

And Wonwoo.. there were too many things to mention about the older despite only having bonded over the summer. But if anything, he was the cherry on top because Wonwoo made him feel like stepping into the warm ocean as the breeze blew past and danced with your hair - the sun caressing his skin. Even though his feelings for the older were in turmoil and in a constant state of disarray because he doesn't know what to with them, he'll feel calm at the end of it all just because it was him he was thinking about.

That helped him ease his shoulders and let-out a deep breath he didn't realize he was holding. He smiled. Minghao then proceeded to pat his shoulder twice before leaning back and just let the silence comfort them.

"You can choose family, Gyu. Especially when they've already chosen you." And they could hear scream in delight from a distance and waving and running towards them. They snickered and went to meet him halfway. Apparently he beat his 400m dash record.  
Their exams were finally finished but they weren't allowed to breathe yet since it was the day before the school fair. And to add to Mingyu's woes, he had a feeling Wonwoo was avoiding him. Scratch that, he knew the older was avoiding him. It was when he was walking down the hall with Minghao to bring some stuff into the student council room when Wonwoo popped-out of the room. He called out his name but as soon as he did, he saw him freeze for a second before walking the other direction. He unconsciously sped up his pace to run up to him but by the time he reached the door, he could hear his hyung climbing down a couple flights of stairs already. When Minghao caught up to him looking... amused. That annoyed him a bit.

He may or may not have let Minghao in to his little secret of him thinking about Wonwoo a lot but still couldn't understand why. It all happened when he asked for advice on the matter. Surprisingly though, he did not get advice or any insight on the matter. Minghao actually shrugged and said it was something he shouldn't figure out. But, well he knew and he wanted to wipe that amused look on his face - thinking it was directed at him. He failed to notice that he was staring way past him.

"What do you think that was all about?"

"Another thing _I_ shouldn't be figuring out"

If he weren't carrying any boxes, he would have grabbed his hair in frustration. Okay that was a little bit of an exaggerated reaction but, it bothered him a lot. Why was Wonwoo avoiding him? Did he do something wrong? Did he miss something important that they agreed on? He was whacking his brain for the possible reason when he felt an actual smack on the head.

"Talk to him."

Simple. Easy. Right?

No. All throughout the day, he's tried to approach the older but was either intercepted by someone who needed him or the other. It was frustrating to say the least because he was sure there wouldn't be any other chance, what with next week being the continuation of their midterms for the paper deadlines. Everybody will for sure be cramming especially with the school fair thrust upon them in the middle of it all.

It was late and the organizing committee started to dwindle in numbers as people started to head home. By the time he was finished helping one of the clubs with the set-up of their tent, he looked around to see who was left. Everyone was there save for Jihoon, Chan andWonwoo who he saw were all walking out of the school gate. And here he thought he had a chance to talk to the older properly by then end of day. Well, another day maybe.

He ran up to Jeonghan and Jisoo who just finished finalizing the booth of the student council. The rest of the gang followed suit. They were the only ones left by then. Jisoo offered to buy them dinner and Seungchol and Jeonghan offered to drive them all home as long as they helped clean-up. Everyone agreed enthusiastically especially with the promise of free food.

He was about to pick up a box and go about picking up the scattered trash when he heard Jeonghan call out to him.

"Can you clean up the council room instead?"

"But there's a lot more to do here than there. We practically emptied the room to bring the stuff out here."

"Oh trust me, the room needs to be sorted. I'll text you when we're done so you can come down and we'll all l leave for dinner."

Jeonghan waved him off, ending the conversation then and there. He shrugged and made his way up.

It took him longer than normal to reach the room because, well the hallways looked like a scene from a horror movie. Empty. With nothing but the sound of his school shoes against the floor. Lit by that glaring fluorescent light that cast an ominous glow.

_Think happy thoughts. Happy thoughts_

He was power walking by the time he reached the floor of the council room and practically ran when one light started to flicker. He could have just turned the other way, telling Jeonghan he'll do it early tomorrow because thoughts of a ghost or a poltergeist chasing after him or waiting around a corner was too much to handle. Good thing he still had some man in him to avoid screaming over something he was hopefully just imagining. 

When he reached the room, he practically slammed the door shut - the echo loud across the empty hallway. His chest was heaving, having held his breath running thinking it would make him run faster.

"Who's there?"

He jumped and turned around, arms in front of him ready to karate chop whatever it was that spoke. But he immediately put his arms down and straightened himself when he saw someone sitting-up on one of the long tables with stacks of paper in front of him. He was rubbing his eyes, apparently woken up from a nap by his entry.

It was Wonwoo.


	13. Chapter 13

"I thought you left," was his only reply. He did see with his own two eyes that he stepped out of the school gate together with Jihoon and Chan, his bag slung over his shoulder as he went. The older stopped rubbing his eyes and grabbed his glasses to see him better. It took a while, with him still rubbing his eyes. He fell asleep on a stack of papers. From his view, he could see that they were the instructions and flyers per booth that he had to distribute. He worked under Jeonghan's committee who was in charge of the paper work. Essentially administrative task for the school fair. 

He really wanted to scold his hyung at this point with all the eye rubbing. It probably contributed to his vision getting worse. "Mingyu? What are you doing here?" He asked a little sleepily, followed by a yawn.

"Jeonghan hyung asked me to clean up since we're finished setting-up the quad."

When he was fully-woken up, he could see him stiffen - realizing that he was finally in the same room as the person he avoided earlier that day. His fight or flight reaction visibly manifesting with his body language and it was obvious he chose flight.

"Oh okay." Wonwoo responded without looking back up at him as he stood up and gathered his things to leave.

"I thought you left." He repeated as he slowly made his way to him.

"I'm leaving now." He rushed around the table. Mingyu stopped a little ways from the door and he couldn't really hide the disappointment he was starting to feel. So yes, Wonwoo was officially avoiding him with all the fuss he was making just to leave - obviously not wanting to be in the same room as him. It.. hurt.

"Hyung, are you mad at me?" 

"What? Of course not, what are you talking about." Good to go, Wonwoo made a beeline towards the door but stopped when Mingyu took a step forward.

"You've been avoiding me." He said sadly. Mingyu didn't want to look up. It was a little embarrassing for him because he felt like a whining child, deprived of attention. But he was deprived of attention, he reasoned with himself and it was apparently an active deprivation from the source.

"If you're talking about the incident earlier today in the hallway, I wasn't avoiding you. I really had to go somewhere right away."

"But you didn't say hi." He'll beat himself up later for how small this made him sound. And cringe-worthily clingy.

"That was because I needed to go somewhere right away." The older was about to walk past him and he felt like things will be different if he let this chance slide. Without a second thought, he reached out and grabbed his arm. There was no effort from the older to mask his annoyance. And this time, there was no flash of those little Wonwoo reactions he was already used to.

"Let go, Mi--"

"I'm sorry." He wasn't really sure why he said he was sorry. Maybe because his hyung won't open up first and this might be a trigger to have him do so. Maybe because he was already tired of all the internal conflict concerning the older and having brought this upon himself. Maybe because.. he too, at one point started avoiding him because he got overwhelmed by the jealousy he felt. Maybe that was why he was sorry. Maybe.

"I'm not really sure why you're saying sorry."

"Neither am I."

Wonwoo sighed. He dropped his bag on a nearby table and went over to a window that had a view of the quad. Mingyu followed suit and they just stayed like that watching their friends goof around and add more to the things they needed to tidy up. His hyung pointed to Seungkwan who was trying to assault Soonyoung but was held back by Hansol. He felt annoyed then. Of all the people he could notice... okay granted, they were the ones worth noticing but still.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Seungkwan."

"Yeah. We got close."

Mingyu couldn't help but let out a loud harumph. His nostrils were flaring as he tried to calm himself down. He heard the older chuckle.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Minghao too."

"Yeah. We got close." He felt a smack on his arm and he sa Wonwoo shaking his head.

"Okay now you're just being straight-up childish, Gyu."

Silence followed after that. They watched as their friends finally got to tidying up the quad. Still annoyed and wanting to compose himself before talking more, Mingyu turned around and assessed what needed to be cleaned in the room and picked up a box. He realized that it was a risk, that that could have been the end of the conversation and he would have lost his chance to clear things up with Wonwoo. But he couldn't yet at that moment, for fear of saying something he really didn't want the other to hear. He started hunching down and grabbing the scattered paper and tinsel on the floor when he heard him start walking. He was half expecting him to leave really, but the older crouched in front of him and helped him.

They made quick work of the room and were finished before they knew it.

And they were just standing there, staring. Awkward.

"This is stupid."

"It is."

"We're close. We can talk about things."

"Why don't you start?" Mingyu proposed, heart beating in his chest. The older scoffed.

"I'm older so I'm gonna pull that card and have you tell me what's bothering you so much about me. Yes, I'm saying it's about me because you weirdly said sorry out of nowhere earlier." Wonwoo rambled. At this point in time, Mingyu knew that this was a tell. He was nervous too.

He took a deep breath.

"I'm just... upset. That we haven't been spending as much time together. And I felt like we were.. drifting away? And I guess it was just.. annoying seeing you let Seungkwan coddle you."

"He coddles everyone."

"No he doesn't. I'm everyone but he doesn't coddle me."

"That's because he thinks you don't like him."

"Wow and now he confides in you too?" Okay that was a little out of line and he immediately apologized. Wonwoo was stunned for a bit before he started laughing and approached the younger, draping an arm over his shoulder. Encouraged by the gesture, Mingyu did a recount of all the times he saw him get coddled by Seungkwan and Wonwoo just kept laughing.

"I wish I felt the same way about seeing you with Minghao." Before he could reply, Wonwoo held up his hand as he pulled his other arm from his shoulders and crossed them in front of him. His eyes were trained on the floor, looking for the right words to say.

"I.. actually like how Minghao has an effect on you. I've seen you more interested in art than ever and I'm taken back to when I found the brochure for film school in your room. And you seem calmer, that weird zoomy-energy you have managed whenever you're hanging-out with him and I like that you have that. But I do sort of wish I could be that for you. I wanna be that type of..."

And this time he saw a longer snippet of those hidden Wonwoo reactions. His brows were furrowed, hunching more into himself as he closed his eyes. His hyung looked like he really wanted to say something but is holding back if the tightening of his jaw was any indication. Mingyu couldn't help but feel like something he was waiting for was finally coming. And he had to take deep breaths to calm himself down as the mere seconds of silence dragged on. 

".. that type of _friend_."

And he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I guess I just was expecting that.. since we have two years to make up for being close friends, I wanted to be a priority. But we have other friends so I guess that's stupid. It also bothered me how you were that close so quick."

"Hyung.. you're like that to me too, but in a different way. A different form. I mean, why would I be distressed over you hanging out with somebody a lot if I didn't think we had a deeper connection."

This time he was the one who put his arm over the other's shoulder and he realized this was the first time he showed a form of physical affection to his hyung. And just all those times he received them from Wonwoo, there was a slight tingle on his skin when they made contact.

They just stayed like that before they both received a text from Jeonghan telling them they were about to leave. Mingyu left his bag at his locker so they went over there to get it.

"If this were a drama, we wouldn't have made up that easy."

"Stop turning this into a soap opera." Wonwoo said as he helped the younger by closing and locking his locker for him as he struggled to wear the backpack. All the activities they did for the day made his shoulder stiff.

"But they're based on real life." Mingyu argued as they started walking down the hall. This time, not even bothered when almost all the lights in the hallway started flickering.

"Exaggerations of real life, Mingyu. You and me, we're not walking hyperboles. We're real."

"And we're okay?" He looked up looking like a puppy.

"Yeah, we're real. We're okay." Wonwoo replied at patted his head.

"Okay. Never realized you were the jealous type." Mingyu joked and he felt a light smack graze his head. He laughed loud.

"I was not jealous. I just.. wasn't used to spending so much time without you now. And you were hanging-out so much with Minghao and you were that close already when we took two years to even start talking like proper friends." Wonwoo replied forcefully with his face forming into a scowl and Mingyu just laughed louder.

After wiping the tears that started forming from laughing, he put his arm over the older's shoulder. "I could say the same about you. About Seungkwan. Don't forget I'm still annoyed you didn't tell me you were sick."  
"That's because I know how you worry. I didn't want you to worry. I wasn't expecting it to be that bad anyway."

"Yeah, sure. You practically hitting your head on your desk and possibly getting a concussion last time wasn't bad."

"And yet you still took care of me."

"I'm not heartless."

Another scoff was heard from the older before being followed by silence. They were almost at the entrance of the building, one more turn at the end of the hallway.

"Careful, Gyu. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you liked me."

"In your dreams."

"Maybe yours."

And they ran up to their friends who were waving at them to move faster. Every single one of them almost broke curfew but Seungcheol and Jeonghan made sure to apologize to their parents when they drove them to their houses.

Later that night, he received a text from Wonwoo.

If it was said in the presence of the other, he would have laughed out loud. Making sure to imply how ridiculous the notion was. But now he was alone, and he really can't help it anymore. He lost his composure and for reasons unknown - or rather unacknowledged to him, started feeling warmth in his chest and those weird butterflies that surfaced when Wonwoo first slept over came back with a vengeance. This time, he just let the feeling spread across him. And he couldn't help but smile before he replied. Mingyu was giddy. He's never been giddy in his life.

>   
>  Wonwoo  
>  Received 23:12, 04 November  
>  In your dreams, Gyu.
> 
> Sent 23:27, 04 November  
>  Maybe yours.


	14. Chapter 14

“What’s it like?” The moment the question left his lips, his ears started to turn red on the edges and he made sure to keep looking in Wonwoo’s direction to avoid having him see it. But what difference did it make when his cheeks are tinged crimson too.

They were both in the library, conveniently having the same free period and only to themselves as the rest of their friends have classes. It was paper season, and the bite of autumn was enough to find means of keeping warm. Their midterms and that forsaken school fair were over. But they still had papers due which the teachers thought they were being generous with having extended the deadline just a week after their exams and school fair. 

The library was warm enough, but for some reason Mingyu’s chair was pulled closer to Wonwoo’s when he got up to grab a book to use for his take-home essay exam for Introduction to Philosophy. He could have adjusted it as he was the one occupying the seat by the wall to avoid unintentionally bumping elbows with Wonwoo as a lefty, but chose to squeeze between the wall and the chair before sitting down – careful not to jostle the seat too much to make it move. Their thighs were pressed against each other, omitting a comfortable warmth and yet it was so noticeable to Mingyu that he had a hard time focusing on his book. Wonwoo on the other hand was freely moving his eyes from a book to the screen of his laptop as he continued with his paper, undeterred by their proximity.

Mingyu half-hoped that Wonwoo was too engrossed with his work that he wouldn’t have heard him. It was even said in a whisper, what with Mingyu just thinking out loud. He was still typing on his computer for a good minute before he saw him click save before turning to him, eyes tired but still... warm, he thought. 

“What’s what like?” Wonwoo probed while he pushed back his glasses by the bridge. Mingyu visibly gulped and mentally counted to 10 to calm himself down. He wasn’t sure why he had the question in his head. It’s already been months since summer when he and Wonwoo started becoming close – with only the two of them left in the city which pushed them both to realize that despite their first impressions, it was easy to be with the other. It was easy for him to be around Wonwoo then and he was glad to have spent a summer with him. And just him – a thought he would echo but never say out loud again after that intense moment in his room talking about film school.

He cleared his throat and involuntarily looked down to avoid his gaze, embarrassed for some reason with the follow-up question.

“To be in love?” He counted to five before pulling the guts to look back up at Wonwoo – whose lips curled in mild disgust, but his eyes crinkled a bit on the edge which made Mingyu think that he was amused. And he was proven right when it elicited a light chuckle from Wonwoo before he slightly lifted his shoulders and scrunched his nose. He felt his heart skip a beat.

“You know what, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s exactly like in the movies.” Wonwoo stated which earned a scoff from Mingyu.

“We both know it’s exaggerated in the big screen.” Mingyu retorted and turned slightly to the front and started playing with the edges of his abandoned book. Wonwoo did the same as well, looking forward with a pensive look and a slightly tilted head.

“Well,” he started, “maybe think about the less exaggerated version. Like having someone and constantly thinking about them – but not overly so, just as a mechanism activated because you want to spend time with that person. And then admitting to yourself you miss the person because there’s just something about spending time with the person that, despite the excitement, also gives you a sense of calm? And I don’t know – maybe being around that person just gives you this energy or motivation to be yourself and also be the best version of yourself but then you feel assured that you’re still accepted as who you are when you aren’t your best version but still yourself?”

“Okay wow, who are you and what have you done to Jeon Wonwoo?”

That earned him a light punch on the arm, and he feigned pain which only painted a satisfied smirk on the assaulter’s face.

“Don’t expect me to answer any more questions from you for a week, you dolt.” He faced his laptop again and started typing. 

They were quiet for a while, Mingyu leaning back on his chair, arms folded in front of him looking penseive. The only thing that keeps him from his thoughts drifting far away was the click of Wonwoo’s keyboard as he continued on with his paper – pausing every once in a while, as he ran his fingers on the page of the book he was referencing. He’d stare at his hands then, noting the way he gently grazes the paper and noting how he’s barely touching it.

Mingyu was genuinely surprised with Wonwoo’s reply. He was expecting something sarcastic or probably scold him for thinking about such banal questions when they should be focusing on their academics. He was surprised because of two things:

1\. He answered the question  
2\. The answer, though unexpected, sounded like a hidden Wonwoo persona answer.

As someone as reserved as Wonwoo, his version of being in love made sense because it made you feel whole and, in a way, encourages you to be in love as well. The definition may come off as a little selfish because it’s all about your personal development – but then again, they say you can only really love someone when you love yourself. And having someone encourage you to be in love with yourself feels so organic especially if you get to grow with the person you’re in love with. His thoughts kept coming back to Wonwoo with that realization and his ears went red.

“Have you ever liked someone?” He asked quietly as not to startle him. It failed though because Wonwoo jumped when he heard him. He looked over to his left and glared at Mingyu and the latter just smiled, barring all of his teeth for show. Wonwoo smothered his face with his hand and wiped the nonexistent slobber on Mingyu’s sleeve.

“Stop asking stupid questions you can’t answer yourself. I don’t want to be part of this narrative anymore. You should just nap and let me work in peace if you don’t plan on leaving.” Mingyu just laughs at the dismissal and decided to go back to reading his book and before he knew it, he fell asleep to the lull of the clacks of Wonwoo’s keyboard.

**

After what felt like hours but were just a couple of minutes, Mingyu woke up. And when he opened his eyes, he saw that Wonwoo was sleeping and mirrored his exact position – one arm tucked under his head and the other dangling over the table. They were facing each other so both their arms were between them. Mingyu was suddenly aware of how close their hands were. He calmed himself and watched his hyung sleep in front of him, back rising slowly with slow breaths. 

The sleeping version of Wonwoo was a sight to behold - features calm and endearing. Seeing his sleeping form would make you think only butterflies and rainbows came out of his mouth. He was, in the simplest of terms, angelic. Mingyu felt he could watch him sleep for hours. At that moment, he thought back again on Wonwoo’s definition of what it’s like to be in love.

He had to admit ever since school started and that their sole shared summer was over, he’s been thinking about him more often than not. And whenever they hung-out with their friends during lunch or after school, there would be times he’d be missing the times when it was just the two of them back in the summer. He was thankful though that they were able to maintain the study sessions because he really did do better with his humanities subjects and he liked helping out Wonwoo with Math and Sciences. Was this motivation?

Mingyu has avoided thinking about the possibility of him having feelings for Wonwoo. One, he didn't want to risk ruining their friendship. Two, because they were both boys. He wasn’t homophobic, especially when he had a hunch that Jeonghan and Jisoo were together and he thought they were amazing together and they honestly made sense and he would fight anyone who says otherwise– no. It was more of the novelty of the idea that has him all apprehensive. He was raised to believe that it’s a boy-girl set-up, fervently endorsed by his dad. He would constantly tease him when he was younger that he was going to marry him off to the daughter of the investor of the month of the company. He was encouraged as well by his mom during play dates with some of their business friends by making him agree how cute or pretty their daughter would be. Maybe Wonwoo was raised the same way, which was probably the main reason he didn't want to address his feelings. They're never really talked about the people they've liked in the past. And all his life, he’s only known to have liked a girl back in grade school but was afraid of her at the same time. That never prospered into anything really. Or maybe he just admired her because she was really smart and was pretty good at gymnastics. But then again, he liked her because she was smart and good at gymnastics. Not necessarily because she was a girl. He could admire someone who had a similar portfolio back then but it was conveniently that girl who had the skill set so he can’t really test that out. 

He thought back to that phase and was contemplating if he was ever attracted to her physically. Well, they were back in grade school so that would have been creepy to think about now but he would realize that he was probably not attracted to her physically. Mingyu can’t even properly recall her features anymore. Observing Wonwoo sleeping in front of him he asked himself, was he attracted to him physically? Well, he liked his nose – especially when they scrunch up. His smile too was something he was really fond of, probably because of the rarity of it’s appearance but he can’t deny how beautiful his smile was to him. And his eyes.. sharp, piercing but can turn gentle and warm within a snap of a finger. And then he realized, everyone had eyes, a nose, and knows how to smile. But the ones that Wonwoo had were the ones that he really liked.

Because it was Wonwoo. Any other person could be the exact replica of Wonwoo with his skill set and physical attributes. But it would still be Wonwoo.

And on a hectic afternoon, in a relatively cramped library with stress and anxiety practically vibrating in the air, Mingyu felt a sense of peace settle within him and felt the lull of sleep once more after his musings. 

_"Have you ever liked someone?"_

“I have. I do. And I hope he likes me too.” He whispered softly before breathing slowly to help sleep overcome him.

\--

Again, after what felt like hours but were just a couple of minutes, Mingyu was woken up by something repeatedly hitting his head. He turned his head around in time to be hit with what seemed to be a paper ball gob smack in the middle of his face, pushing his nose back slightly. Wonwoo snickered, grabbed that paper ball and threw it at him again. Mingyu didn’t catch it but grabbed it as soon as it bounced off his face and threw it right back at him which was easily deflected.

“Move it, sleepy-head or we’ll be late for last period.” He said while standing up and grabbing his bag having had kept his things already. Mingyu groaned but put all his stuff back into his bag hurriedly knowing that Wonwoo won’t be waiting that long – and he was right because he was already walking away from the table. His eyes weren't even fully open yet. Mingyu allowed himself to stretch a bit before running up to him quietly in case they get scolded by the librarian… again. They were silent, walking down the halls but it wasn’t unwelcome since Mingyu was still trying to wake-up from his nap – all the while stretching his fingers because his hand felt slightly stiff.

He wasn’t sure if he was already in throes of his afternoon dream earlier, skirting around his nap when he felt something graze his hand shyly before locking a pinky finger with his own. It felt so surreal, he surmised he was already dreaming. He turned his head to the other side in his sleep and that’s when he dreamt a hand hold his, gave it a light squeeze and stayed there. He wasn’t sure how long it was since one never really has a concept of time when dreaming, right?

As he felt his fingers loosen while running down the hallway - only a couple of steps behind Wonwoo who kept looking back at him and laughing, he couldn't help but smile. What a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a playlist I listen to when writing these scenes: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3LnTv8RvJnKJHJtBF4y9rR?si=z2ngVbRnSMGI5pC293co1Q
> 
> I'd recommend listening to Simple by Woozi for this chapter since I had that on repeat while writing. 💕💕
> 
> Thank you again for all of your comments and kudos'! 💎💎


	15. Chapter 15

He thought that admitting his feelings to himself would help ease up all the nightly musings he had about Wonwoo. He was so wrong.

Days following Mingyu's silent library confession, every little thing suddenly had meaning. Or, maybe he's just putting meaning into them.

Like Wonwoo asking him almost everyday to go to school together and making sure that he knew it was his mom who offered and not him.

Like Wonwoo 'walking' him to his locker because the older claims he's a clumsy bean pole whose had more almost accidents than any other person he's ever met.

Like Wonwoo always buying 2 types of triangle kimbap and both banana and strawberry milk and waiting for him to come and choose which ones he wanted before eating anything.

Mingyu's convinced himself that he was just looking too much into things. But then coming into terms of liking Wonwoo wasn't enough. It had to grow deeper in the following weeks, he liked the older even more now. He wasn't really sure if it was due to all the added meaning he's put into every minuscule action his hyung did.

But he nearly combusted that week when Wonwoo gave him a lunch box when he sat down beside him.

"I figured you wouldn't have any packed today considering you burned my ears until the wee hours of the morning just to try and convince me Captian America is the best Avenger in the world. Yeah, so I asked my mom to make you an extra."

At this stage, there was really no point for Mingyu to even try and cover up the tinge of his cheeks and the heat manifesting in his ears. He smiled shyly and thanked his hyung. What he got was a light flick on his arm, imploring him to stop being shy. But when he looked over to him, he thought he saw Wonwoo blushing. Or maybe he was putting too much meaning into it.

Opening up their respective lunchboxes was interesting. Because the moment they did, he saw that they both had the same contents except Wonwoo's set of fried food was.. burnt. Well, not totally.. but obviously left in the fryer for too long. The rice balls were also of varying sizes and weren't exactly ball-shaped. The veggie sticks also varied in size and thickness.

Before Wonwoo could dig-in to his own lunch, he quickly grabbed his lunch box and replaced it with the one he had.

"That's mine."

"But I want this one."

"My mom made this for you."

"But I want this one." And he grabbed one of the more charred fritter and popped in into his mouth, chewing exaggeratedly and making a satisfied face. He almost spit out his food when he saw Wonwoo flush so much and was too stunned to fight it. The older awkwardly coughed and turned to eat the box that was originally for Mingyu.

They ate in silence after that, just listening to the conversation flowing amongst their gang. He made sure though to mewl and sigh happily every time he ate something of from the lunch box and he could sense the older smiling even he had his head down while eating. There was no doubt that the original lunch box he had was from Mrs. Jeon. But he wanted the one Wonwoo had because he was so sure he made it himself. And he couldn't quell the butterflies flapping their wings in a frenzy with the assumption that Wonwoo made lunch for him.

And that was enough to drive him into an anxious mess when trying to figure out if his hyung liked him too.

In the two years of being acquaintances with Wonwoo, it was easy to say that he wasn't affectionate. Much like Jihoon, he accepts their friends' feelings at arms length and would reciprocate in a stoic fashion. Hansol could also be categorized under the same group as the two of them. Save for the rare times when they would come out of their stoic shells and respond with either a headlock to Soonyoung whenever he tried to hug or show physical affection to Jihoon or Wonwoo only saying things like "that's not anything new" or "no surprise there" whenever Seokmin would tell their group about his achievements.

Maybe it was because they all grew up together, but the rest of the gang knew that this was their language of showing their affection towards the group. They've been consistent, even towards him and Jun and the rest of the newbies in the gang.

He remembered the time he first saw a glimpse of Wonwoo's language of affection and he almost snapped at the older for it. Seokmin was talking about getting the lead vocal role upon auditioning for a school play. They were all up in cheers and a countless pats on the back were given to him. In the midst of the ruckus of cheering, Wonwoo said in a clear voice "why are we celebrating this? It's Seokmin."

He actually wanted to punch the older. Before he could open his mouth to berate the older for being so callous, Seokmin ran to him and gave him a hug which the older reciprocated with a curled mouth in disgust. But his eyes, well they were smiling and when Seokmin let go, he looked at him - proud. 

This was how he established the "affectionate" side of Wonwoo.

..which wasn't the Wonwoo he was seeing now. The days following his library confession, every little thing suddenly had meaning and he wasn't sure how to interpret it. Because this was something he hasn't seen with the older. Or maybe something he was just projecting. Maybe he was asking for too much too soon? He did just come to terms with his own feelings. And he still even wasn't sure about pursuing anything about it because he still didn't know Wonwoo's preferences. It was too risky. He also tried figuring him out from the reactions of the people in the group with the way Wonwoo was treating him. Like somebody calling him out for possibly favoring Mingyu. Or how he's acting different lately.

But nobody said anything. He was sure they noticed because Wonwoo wasn't being subtle about it - just like that time he was sick and made a show just to be fed veggie sticks. He realized upon observation too that Wonwoo was actually affectionate with the rest of the gang in very little ways. So this wasn't anything out of the ordinary. So this wasn't special.

Mingyu couldn't help but feel discouraged.

**

A couple of days later, he was unintentionally avoiding Wonwoo. Unintentionally because it was almost Winter break and the student council had an event. As the representative of the juniors as well as a member of the administrative committee of the council, he had his hands full especially with Jeonghan being the head. He was unintentionally avoiding Wonwoo and the older didn't make a fuss about it. That furthered the discouragement, but he shouldn't really be putting too much meaning to it.

"Okay Kim Mingyu, we need to talk."

Jeonghan said from the other side of the room. They were the only ones in the student council room and he was helping him sort out some of the finalized documentation for auditing of the event.

"What? Why?" He asked as he brought over the papers he just finished printing to where Jeonghan was seated, segregating all of the papers he asked to be printed. Thankfully that was the last batch he handed in.

Mingyu made his way to the vacant table beside Jeonghan's desk and leaned against it, arms folded in front of him. He waited for the older to finish with the batch he just gave him because he knew he liked finishing one thing at a time. He browsed through his phone while waiting and saw in their group chat that the rest of them with free period were all hanging-out by the track field, on their usual spot on the bleachers. Jun tagged both him and Jeonghan to head there when done. But Mingyu wasn't sure. Wonwoo was there.

The sound of a clap made him look-up towards Jeonghan who had now finished filing and stacking in an order that only he knew best but will have someone else do the rest of the filing. After clearing his desk of the folders, he laced his fingers in front of him and placed his head over them while looking at Mingyu curiously. He couldn't help but feel like he was being reviewed so he gulped.

"You like somebody, don't you?" Like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes went wide for a bit before he tried to regain his composure. It was too late because the older smirked knowingly at him.

"It's really obvious. Well, to some of us." He continued.

Was he really? Panic started to fill him thinking back on all the times they've interacted post library incident. He was too preoccupied remembering the moments he had with Wonwoo that he failed to notice Jeonghan move from his seat to where he was, mimicking his exact position.

After a while, he felt a hand on his shoulder which brought him slightly out of his panic before he felt him squeeze it comfortingly.

"Don't worry. It's not obvious to the person you like."

"But you know who it is."

Jeonghan scoffed and laughed.

"You doubt my perceptiveness?"

Mingyu sighed and didn't answer. He knew that was a rhetorical question. 

They were quiet, the room suddenly filled with the white noise of people going about their business among the halls as well as from the quad.

If he were to be honest, part of him wanted to be super obvious to the point that he had to be the receiving end of having to come to terms with it. Like, Wonwoo asking him so that he wouldn't have to go through the whole ordeal of preparing for it emotionally and mentally should he be the one to address it first.

Though he had his reservations still because he really wasn't sure anymore if there was something there. Not that he was expecting to be liked back, no. He was okay with just having someone to like and he was okay with just being around that person and having the chance to express his feelings in little ways that shouldn't mean anything past him being such a good friend.

But he started becoming greedy when he noticed the little things that Wonwoo only showed him - another side of him that he liked to believe only he himself saw. The little Wonwoo reactions, the not-so-subtle acts of thoughtfulness - generally the attention he got from his hyung that he doesn't get from anyone else. But with all the internal debate he's had for a while on the older's possible affection for him, maybe this was just how Wonwoo was to his close friends. It was obvious he was getting special treatment from him yet nobody in the group was reacting to it. So it could really be nothing, right?

Maybe he really was putting to much meaning into all of this and he hates it because it started to fill him with hope.

"At this rate, Mingyu, the gang would be able hear what your thinking all the way from the field."

He sighed and slumped his shoulders.

"What do I do?"

"Talk to him."

"Not that easy."

"Why not? I'm sure you're special to that person enough to hear you out if you wanna say something."

"What if he doesn't like me?"

"..doesn't like you because?"

And for some reason, the way Jeonghan probed to properly finish his question had his main fear bubble up in the forefront of his chest and suddenly it was hard to breathe.

"Because... because I'm a guy."

The silence that ensued made his ears ring. But he felt, in a way, relieved to finally have said that out loud - like a boulder was lifted from his chest. There was a dent left however, and it was now filling him up with bits and bits of insecurities until it formed to another boulder laced in fear.

This was the first time he's admitted to anybody about liking a guy and a lot of scenarios played in his head.

Jeonghan laughing at him telling him he's ridiculous.

Jeonghan keeling away from him in disgust.

Jeonghan getting angry telling him it's wrong.

He swallowed hard and grappled with the minor fact that he was imagining those scenarios with Jeonghan instead of Wonwoo because he really wouldn't know what to do if his hyung reacted that way. But getting any of those reactions from Jeonghan would never be in any way better since he didn't want to lose a friend.

His fingers started shaking as the fear consumed him but he fought letting the tears fall from his eyes. If he was already this much of a wreck talking to a friend about it, what more with Wonwoo?

Insecurity. Fear. Hopelessness.

Mingyu wanted to escape.

But he felt an arm sling over his shoulder, albeit awkwardly because of the height difference so they settled with just a hand on his back, patting him repeatedly in comfort. He looked over to Jeonghan who had a pensive look yet with a fond smile gracing his lips.

"I know someone who went through exactly what you're going through right now. He told me about his fear of not being liked back by the person they fancied just because he was a boy too. I saw that person crumble in front of me and I hated it. And I hate it too, seeing you like this."

"Mingyu, does it bother you that you like a guy?"

"At first." He bowed his head in shame.

"Don't worry. That's not something unexpected because we were all raised differently. What changed?"

"Well, I thought about why I started liking him. I realized then that I didn't factor in weather he was a boy or a girl. I liked him for who he was as a person, not what. I've never really liked somebody just because they were a boy or a girl. I just like because I like."  
Jeonghan softly chuckled beside him.

"Man, that made me wish that someone I knew had the same mindset as you. But, he came around on his own. He told me he's been thinking about it for almost a year."

"What'd he do?"

"He confessed."

"And?"

"And we've been together for a while now."

"Let me guess.. Jisoo?"

"We're not trying to be subtle you know. But we don't answer unless asked. We agreed on that. So yeah, Jisoo and I have been together for a while now."

"So you liked Jisoo hyung back? That doesn't really help my case here because we don't know if my someone swings that way."

"Well, I wasn't sure too when Jisoo confessed. I didn't know if I liked him back but I was so fond of him. I was scared at first of what it meant, of what's going to happen. But when I removed everything except for just me and him, I started being scared for different reasons.. What if this was all just a high school thing? What if we started fighting and won't be able to get back what we used to have? What if he starts liking someone else? What if he gets tired of me?" Jeonghan paused a bit and laughed shaking his head.

"And then I realized, I had the same set of fears as anybody who wanted to get into a relationship with someone they liked. And it didn't matter anymore that Jisoo's a guy. It mattered because it's Jisoo."

Mingyu, despite being nearly swallowed whole by all the negative thoughts and feelings that consumed him in the span of a few minutes, started feeling warm. The touched and fond look Jeonghan was wearing was enough to tell him he was thinking about Jisoo. Just the thought of one person made the older glow and he can't help but bask in the feeling he was emulating.

And he started thinking about Wonwoo. He smiled. He wanted that too.

Pulled from his thoughts once more by a hand on his shoulder, he looked over to the older who had a serene aura with a slight hint of restlessness. He looked like he was missing someone. 

"Did that make me less of an angel?" Jeonghan asked.

"No. You were never an angel in the first place."

"You wound me , Kim Mingyu. You've been hanging out with Wonwoo too much. He's rubbing off on you."

He laughed. "I'm just saying.. you aren't any different. Besides, I don't make your decisions for you. It's your life. Live it the way you want to. Love whoever you want to."

Jeonghan gave him a knowing look then and stood up. "Right back at you, Mingyu. Right back at you."

He knew what the older wanted to say, and he just bowed his head.

"What should I do?"

"Well, if my experience was of any significance - just talk to him about it."

It wasn't easy. But if talking brought the hyungs to where they were now, it shouldn't be that bad. Besides, Wonwoo felt like he was worth the risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song I listened to while writing this: Same Love - Macklemore, Ryan Lewis (feat. Mary Lambert) 💖


	16. Chapter 16

Days turned into weeks and before he knew it, Winter break was just around the corner. The time in between that conversation he had with Jeonghan to date were possibly one of the most intense for him. He was yet in another debacle whether he should talk to Wonwoo about, well.. liking Wonwoo.

He kept going back and forth with his thoughts justifying and counter arguing his feelings for his hyung which led to a couple of late night soft hours and a groggy Mingyu the next day. It was a good thing their midterms were over and Jeonghan really gave him space to think about it. He also made it a point to avoid talking to his hyung about it despite being so overwhelmed by it because the seniors were in the middle of preparations for their College Scholastic Ability Test.

Everything that was happening was very much timely for him to mull over things without feeling any proper pressure because he barely got solo hang-out sessions with Wonwoo. Since the seniors were focused on the CSAT, the juniors practically took over and they were all busy for the event before break.

If Wonwoo noticed how evasive he's been, he didn't show it. Or maybe he doesn't because he isn't worth any attention further than the attention one gives to a friend.. just a friend. The first time he thought that, he was up until 4AM on a school night.

**

It's been almost 10 minutes since they started with Soonyoung's childish idea of playing hide and seek at the West Building. The winter event was held mainly in the East building where the auditorium was and the seniors not wanting to spend it with the rest of the school, proposed they ditch the event after the first half and celebrate on their own. It was a concert/social where students would showacse their talents and then social activities were done in between. Soonyoung and Chan who were part of a dance troupe and Jihoon who performed some of his original songs were fortunately part of the set of the first-half.. 

However they couldn't leave the school until the event was over so they decided to just go around the rest of the campus until Soonyoung suggested a bit of fun. Thus, there he was, huddled in one of the old music rooms surrounded by a pile of drums and a shelf full of old music sheets. It was such a good hiding spot because the drums were piled up in a way that it looked like it was done so against the wall but there was a little nook between them and the wall. Nobody would suspect Mingyu was hiding there. He's always had difficulty with this game since he was so tall and the best hiding spots were usually so small. He couldn't believe his luck being the first one to find this. It was good that nobody thought to look into the farthest room down the third floor corridor.

He kept quiet and listened in to the sounds his friends were making. Some of them had the idea of also hiding in the different floors. Mingyu actually couldn't believe his luck that he wasn't the seeker as he's always been unfortunate with the games their gang would play. Imaging having to scout 4 floors of a building to find 12 people. But they made a rule to come out of hiding after 30 minutes should the seeker fail to find them.

Left alone with his thoughts once more, Mingyu thought about Wonwoo. Days, weeks of thinking of his feelings for the older just made it all the more difficult to brush off. He'd find himself blushing.. actually blushing when Wonwoo would smile at him. He'd have to feign a cough or a cold or just whatever excuse he could come up with for his "random" blushes. He was crushing so bad, giddy wasn't enough to explain what he was feeling.

Because maybe it wasn't just a crush?

He stopped himself before he could overly think into it and have him be hopeful for something that he wasn't even sure was possible. Because, yes.. he liked Wonwoo. But does he like him back that way, if not like him at all?

He should just get it over with, he surmised. he should just get it over with and tell Wonwoo how he felt without expecting anything in return because.. because the outcome may not be in his favor. He just needed to say it anyway to get it off his chest to free himself from the endless thoughts that's been plaguing him and depriving him of sleep. Yes, he shouldn't expect anything because he didn't want to lose his hyung as a friend. Or, maybe he shouldn't at all and risk losing his hyung? This sucked.

Too filled with his thought, he failed to hear the door to the room open and shut. He was too distracted that the sudden sound of a crunch of a paper being stepped on made him jump and kick a drum to his side. It was a good thing there was a bit of distance between him and the drums that the kick wasn't hard enough to topple the pile over, but just enough to make a sound. It was enough though to be found out and Mingyu hugged his kneed to him and hid his head.

"Mingyu?"

His name was said in a whisper but he immediately knew who it was and his head shot up in surprise. It was Wonwoo, crouched down and kneeling in front of him, hand lightly gripping his risk. He gulped. Good thing the light from the window wasn't bright enough to show the reddening of his cheeks and ears.

Before he could react further, they heard the faint sound of someone trying to whistle grow louder by every step that was echoing in the hall. He pulled Wonwoo the same time the older scrambled by his side and they made themselves smaller to hide.  
It was quiet after a while and they almost let out a sigh of relief when the door to the room slid open rather loudly. He started feeling nervous, not wanting to be found out and he could feel his heart beat fast. Mingyu hoped it wasn't beating loud enough for anyone to hear.

The room was really quiet until they heard Soonyoung step into the room and walk about, not being careful as stepped on random things scattered on the floor that made loud crunches in the silent abandoned music room.

"Someone should be hear." They heard him whisper. His footsteps started to get louder by the step and he knew Soonyoung was approaching their hiding spot. He really didn't want to be found out and face the consequences of owing every member of the gang a favor. His friends were known to have, albeit reasonable - ridiculous favors that he just really didn't want to subject himself into. So closed his eyes and hugged his knees tighter.

After what felt like minutes but were only a couple of minutes, they heard a faint sound of a door open and close. Somebody either went in or out of a room further down the hall. They heard the hurried footsteps and the sliding of a door and Wonwoo let out a sigh of relief. They were saved by being caught by whoever carelessly let their location be known.

"Probably Seokmin." Mingyu whispered out loud as he started to loosen the hold of his knees. He heard his hyung snort beside him.

The faint sounds of the event and their friends running about in the corridor wasn't enough to distract Mingyu of Wonwoo's proximity. They had to huddle closer together when Soonyoung suddenly entered the old music room to scout for those hiding. It was a good minute of both of them holding their breaths, hugging their legs closer to make them smaller to stay hidden even though their hiding spot wasn't one that would invite the seeker to look into. 

Once they were sure that Soonyoung wasn't anywhere near the room, probably on another floor of the building, they both started talking in whispers. They were talking randomly on school activities and classed until they ended up talking about college. Wonwoo was still up Mngyu's business about his choice of university and after months of talking to Wonwoo about it, he was more confused than ever about what he wanted. He went on his usual tirade of pros and cons of his first choices for his future, but would present another set of those for the ones that would cater to his interests. They would go back and forth on which would properly benefit him in all aspects but would only result to added points for either pros or cons for his future and for his interests. It was confusing but Wonwoo sighed, understanding him.

"Kim Mingyu, why do I feel like I'm doing a research paper with you?"

"Should I be insulted? You make me sound boring."

"I have to look into a lot of things before figuring you out - and then you make so much sense, you know?"

"I could say the same about you, hyung."

"What do you mean, I don't need any figuring-out."

"Yeah, with what you don't like. And even then I'd still have to give it a couple more observations before making the valid conclusion of whether or not you dislike something. With what you like, however. It's near impossible to know."

Things went quiet after that, and Mingyu couldn't help but feel nervous. Did he offend Wonwoo? He wasn't sure and was to cautious about the atmosphere to chance a look at the other. Maybe if he did, he'd see the sudden reddening of his cheeks and the quick rise and fall of his chest. He would have seen he was nervous too... for a totally different reason.

"You could just ask you know. I think we've established that I answer your questions reasonably."

"With the high probability of you throwing back the question to me and stating how it's either a stupid question or an obvious answer."

"Just ask, Gyu. I swear I'll answer properly this time."

"Okay then. Mr. Jeon Wonwoo, what do you like?"

"Research Papers."

Mingyu nearly chocked on his own saliva. Did he hear that right? He looked over to the other, eyes bulging from their sockets and heart pounding like a drum in a fanfare. The butterflies in his stomach resurfaced with a vengeance after months of being quelled and it made him break in cold sweat. The other however, was looking away but he looked on edge, with him hugging his knees closer and shifting from time to time but remaining stiff. He looked uncomfortable but Mingyu didn't want to pass up this chance.

This was it. After months of getting to know him, after weeks of sorting his feelings out.. he now wanted to know if there was something, anything that could tell him he affects the other as much as he did him. It wasn't just a matter of letting him know. Right here, in this moment.. Mingyu wanted to know if he liked him too.

"Wonwoo, Who do you like?"

"There was no agreement on the change of pronoun."

Wonwoo answered back with a small voice and that made Mingyu all the more nervous. He didn't know what to retort to that so he just repeated the question, unconsciously leaning closer to the other who finally lifted his head for show, one hand placed on the cold floor for support. His breathing looked steadied as he stared into the space in front of him. His arms were now loosely wrapped around his knees but he still was capable of looking small.

Mingyu felt himself relax a bit at the sight. This.. this was enough for now. He didn't mean to put him on the spot and he realized that too late. He felt slightly ashamed with what he did.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to." He answered back nonchalantly hoping it could help his hyung relax.

Seconds turned into minutes before the silence was broken. 

"Ask me again."

His heart was racing and beating so hard, he bet it could outdo the sounds the drums around him could make. But he tried to calm himself, breathing slowed and eyes trained straight ahead. He couldn't trust himself if he dared to look at his hyung. And he wasn't sure how he'd react with whatever answer he would give.

"Who do you like?"

Seconds turned into minutes before he answered back.

"You."

Wonwoo leaned back then, eyes closed and a staggered breath leaving his lips. Mingyu couldn't help but stare as he processed what he heard. He liked him. And all those butterflies are flapping their wings a ten fold with with fervor. A mix of what Mingyu could only identify as relief and excitement flooded him as he stared at the older. Time passed by too slow and the longer he stared at the unmoving figure of Wonwoo, he found it a little harder to breathe with how much his chest would swell. He looked away then, and chose to just bask in the silence, relishing the feeling of being liked back.

Yes, Mingyu liked Wonwoo and Wonwoo liked him back.

He was too engrossed in repeating that thought over and over that he didn't notice Wonwoo's left hand dropping from his hold of his knees to part of his hand. He immediately froze and expected the other to pull his hand away. But after counting up to 30, his hand stayed there and he started to relax. Mingyu decided then to lean back, careful not to move his hand too much in case the other thought it was a tactic to shake him off. He could feel how tense Wonwoo was when their shoulders touched after leaning back. They stayed like that for who knows how long - all their attention focused on their hands. They also forgot that they were still playing hide and seek with their friends. Mingyu subtly checked his watch - the 30 minutes was almost up.

His thoughts were running a mile a minute but he probably shouldn't push it further. He believed the other was already at his limits with the confession. If his struggle with coming to terms with it and figuring out if he should confess or not was any indication, he was sure Wonwoo was too overwhelmed with everything at this point. Mingyu closed his eyes and decided to count up to 180, which was about the time they needed to leave their hiding spot since the game would be over then. It was also to help him compose himself.

He wasn't sure on which specific count it happened, but soon after he started counting, he felt a slight movement on top of his hand. Mingyu didn't react to it at first thinking it was just his hand unconsciously moving after being in the same position for so long due to his hand tremors. But then, Wonwoo's hand started moving over until it covered his own cautiously. He opened his eyes then, feeling a sense of calm wash over him after counting to a hundred. He looked at Wonwoo whose eyes were trained on their hands and he had to stifle a chuckle with how intense he was looking at them.

Mingyu was relieved. Months of trying to keep his feelings at bay, trying to convince himself not to do anything about it for fear of ruining their friendship felt so pointless now as he watched Wonwoo. Not wanting to keep the other in agony any further, he moved his hand under his, flipping it upwards and clasping their fingers together.

The older let out a breath, not realizing he was holding it in the first place. He looked up at Mingyu and the latter had to support himself from falling over with how he looked at him. Fondly, warmly... and with the most breathtaking smile Mingyu has ever seen in his life.

Wonwoo raised their clasped hands up and waved them slightly. 

"Can I therefore conclude that you like me back?"

"You say that as if you assumed that I did."

"It was a hypothesis I had to look into."

"Does that mean you started liking me because you assumed I liked you?"

"Now that's a stupid assumption. No, I've liked you before then. But that's another story for another day."

"Conclusion confirmed then." He paused, adding for effect.

"I like you, Wonwoo." He said a little breathlessly and he nearly toppled over with that smile and nose scrunch the older directed at him.

"Research successful then." Wonwoo smirked.

"I can't believe you're still going with that narrative."

Mingyu rolled his eyes but squeezed the hand he was holding. He smiled looking at their intertwined fingers and it all started to make sense.

"You can't really blame me. I like research papers. And you, Kim Mingyu. I like you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💖
> 
> Songs I listened to while writing:  
> Fall in love - 차소연 feat. 강예준 & Wall.T  
> Serendipity - BTS (Jimin)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Longest one yet!  
> 💟💟  
> I'd like to apologize in advance though because updates may be slow from hereon out. 😢 I've yet to finish writing the chapters after this part. I hope you don't lose the love you have for the story. 🤧 I've already finished the last chapters.. it's just the in between that's in the way. 😉


	17. Chapter 17

If there was any power Mingyu could wish for, it was the power to control time. Because right here, in this moment, he wanted it to last forever.

_"And you, Kim Mingyu. I like you."_

In an abandoned music room, hidden behind a stack of drums, Wonwoo and Mingyu were holding hands after having confessed to each other. Giddy wasn't enough to do his feelings justice. It was more of a carnival fanfare, excitement rushing through his veins and countless of acrobats flying in a tangle of ropes around his stomach. But on the outside he was calm, save for the wide grin he couldn't get of his face and the squeezing of the older's hand every 15 seconds. 

Wonwoo would giggle then. Giggle. And Mingyu decided it was one of his favorite sounds in the world.

Their moment was disrupted when they saw their phones light up at the same time from their pockets. Mingyu knew what the message would read before reading it since he knew the 30 minutes was up. Wow, that all happened in 30 minutes?

Indeed it was a message sent to their group chat telling them that the game was over and to come out so they can grab ice cream. Soonyoung failed to find anybody but since the last person he nearly caught was Seungcheol, he offered to buy everyone ice cream in Soonyoung's place. The group chat then was flooded by stickers made by Soonyoung himself acting all cute and lovey and they all replied with either an angry or vomit emoji.

Wonwoo was the first one to stand up so he offered his hand to Mingyu to help him up. The younger blushed but took the hand with a smile and were on their way.

They started walking side-by-side, hands swinging and brushing against each other. But nobody made a move to hold the other. It was a relatively long walk back to the main entrance where the rest of the group were waiting. There was a sense of disappointment starting to fill him and he wasn't sure why but it all disappeared hen he felt his hyung reach out for his hand to hold. The acrobats were at it again in his stomach.

When they reached the corner before the hallway to the entrance, Wonwoo stopped them and looked at their clasped hands before looking up at him.

"Mingyu, do you want the gang to know already?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if they see us holding hands.."

When he understood what the older was saying, he froze suddenly overly apprehensive. He honestly wasn't sure how the gang was going to take it and he was rightfully scared. Mingyu knew their friends were open-minded what with Jeonghan and Jisoo obviously flirting with each other in front of them from time to time. But, they weren't them. And he didn't grow up with them so there was no deep-rooted bond for them to consider before judging him.

Mingyu was scared, remembering once more the fear that he had when he talked to Jeonghan and all of the scary scenarios that played before him. All the fears and insecurity started bubbling inside of him and he had to stop himself from visibly shaking.  
Without even realizing it, Wonwoo had his hands cupping his face and urging him to focus on him. Mingyu placed his hands over his and started to take deep breaths with eyes closed.

"Mingyu, it's okay."

"No-- I just --"

"It's okay. This is new, unchartered waters for you. It's okay, there's no rush. That's why I asked because I didn't want to put you on the spot."

"I know. But h-hyung, you aren't scared?"

"I'm nervous, but not scared. I'm sure there will be different opinions but I'm not scared of them."

"I wish I was as brave as you."

He looked up at the older and Wonwoo scrunched his nose up at him while squeezing his cheeks. His hands were warm, which honestly surprised him because he told him that his hands and feet were usually cold.. it was nice.

"You _are_ brave."

"No I'm not."

"You are. You were brave enough to open the doors that led to this you know."

"Well, you started it."

"I may have teased a bit, but you were the one who was brave enough to risk it and ask a question that won't just affect you but the both of us and the friendship that we had."

There was a pause and Mingyu saw a flash of disappointment run through his hyung's features.

"You were willing to risk it when I've only been thinking about it for a long time but never doing anything about it."

A long time? Mingyu suddenly forgot all about the negative things he was feeling and focused on those three words. He's... he's been thinking about this for a while now? Mingyu thought back to the conversation they had earlier when his hyung said that he's liked him before he had assumptions of Mingyu liking him.

The acrobats were back with a vengeance. How long has his hyung liked him this way?

He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt his hyung patting his cheeks repeatedly. Wonwoo chuckled at him before giving his face one last squeeze and stepping away.

"Another story for another time, Mingyu." He said as if reading his train of thought. Mingyu smiled shyly and nodded his head.

"Is it okay, really? Not yet?"

"Not yet then."

"Not that I'm ashamed of you or anything," he started with hands going up in front of him in defense. Wonwoo swatted them away.

"I know."

"I'd also like to keep this to myself too."

"Yeah, I'd like to keep you to myself too."

His hyung replied. When he realized what he said, he started walking as quickly as possible away from him. Shoulder stiff and hands in fists on his sides. Mingyu couldn't help it. with all the feelings surfacing of being liked back and the ruckus caused by the flipping of whatever it was in his stomach - be it butterflies or acrobats, he couldn't help but laugh out loud before running up to Wonwoo.

Hearing him laugh, he looked back with a smile that crinkled his nose and ran. Mingyu sped up and by the time he caught up to him, they were by the entrance where the rest of the gang was waiting for them, eyes trailed on them.

Jeonghan looked at them fondly.

Jihoon smirked. 

Minghao looked at them knowingly.

The rest just looked amused as Mingyu threw an arm over Wonwoo, a breathless laugh escaping his lips and the older pulling him closer by the arm.

***

Mingyu loved winter break. He and his family would travel either abroad or to one of his grandparents' house and just stay there for the week of the holidays. If he were to be honest however, he preferred going abroad because his parents would choose a warm country to escape from the cold. But this year he really wished that they stay in the country this year because.. well because of Wonwoo.

After that night, their texts have been frequent. Well, as frequent as it could be with Wonwoo which was enough to send Mingyu into a frenzy of excitement especially when he would get a text from the older at random parts of the day.

He knew that the Jeon family would just be spending winter break in the city as his dad had to work on a couple of things. He was a Sociology at the top university in the country and was working on his tenureship. His sister too was flying back home after a while and wanted her to just rest and not move around visiting relatives in different parts of the country.

But of course, Mingyu can't have everything. Just 3 days before Christmas, his parents told him to pack for a two-week trip abroad and he was so disheartened by the thought of not spending the last few days of this year with him. They were leaving the day before Christmas.

"I really don't want to go." Mingyu said while he was folding his clothes. He was sat on the floor with his suite case open in front of him. His phone was placed on a make shift stand while he was in a video call with Wonwoo. The older was sitting on his desk with a book in hand, laughing.

"It's the holidays, Gyu. People go on vacations this time around. You'll be with family anyway and holidays are usually spent with family."

The younger groaned as he placed the last of his clothes into the luggage and closed it shut. He set it aside before picking up his phone and plopping down on his bed.

"I'd really rather spend it here. What with everybody being in the city." Especially you, the thought but decided not to say.

"What time's your flight tomorrow?"

"I think 9AM?"

"Oh.."

Mingyu sat up seeing the conflicted look his hyung wore from the other side of the screen. He was looking away from his phone and was biting his lip and he never actually realized how that small action could affect him. He gulped.

It was already close to midnight and he knew he needed to sleep because they would leave their house at 7AM expecting traffic due to the holiday rush of last minute shoppers and shops opening earlier than usual to close early too. But he wasn't sleepy.. and he wanted to talk to Wonwoo as much as he could before holiday festivities made it busy for the older to message him. He said that since they were staying in the city, his parents' relatives will be visiting in the next few days of the week to spend the holidays with them.

"Gyu.."

He was pulled from his thoughts when the older called for him. When he brought his attention back to the screen, Wonwoo looked rather apprehensive, but looked like he wanted to say something.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think.. maybe we could meet up for a bit?"

"What for?" He asked but he was already walking to his closet to grab a coat.

"Just.. I need to give you something. I'll ask my sister if she can drive us if you're up for it?" His hyung was also walking around his room to grab a jacket.

"I'll be waiting in the lobby."

"Okay. Just, let me ask my sister. I'll text you."

"Okay." And then the screen went blank.

Mingyu checked himself out in the mirror and was happy to see that he still looked presentable despite running around all day to pack for the trip. He grabbed his house keys and left his room. He knew his parents were heavy sleepers so he didn't really put that much effort in being quiet but he was careful not to bump into anything.

Just as he reached the lobby, he received a text saying there were on their way and would probably be there in three minutes. He was glad he didn't have to wait that long because he was excited to see Wonwoo again. It's been almost a week since that night at the West Building and he would still blush whenever he thought about it.

He was feeling giddy of meeting up with Wonwoo at such an hour but then realized that he would be meeting his sister for the first time. His nerves started to bundle up with the thought of meeting a family member. But then again, he already met his mom. So how was this different? Wouldn't be the mom be the most of his worries in this type of situation? But then again, he met his mom before them acknowledging liking each other. He suddenly wanted to know what Mrs. Jeon thought about him. And he was nervous of what impression his sister would have of him.

Worrying made the time go faster that he didn't realize they were already there. Wonwoo had to pick him up from the lobby because he was too distracted with worrying. He felt a tap on his shoulder which made him jump.

"Mingyu? You okay?"

"Y-Yeah." He said nervously as he stood up abruptly, nearly hitting his knee on the coffee table.

"What's wrong?" Wonwoo caught on immediately and placed his hand on his arms to comfort him. He t himself slouch.

"It's just.. I'm meeting your sister for the first time and.. I'm n-nervous."

The older chuckled lightly and rubbed his arms. Mingyu pouted.

"Don't worry about it. She already knows about you."

"Really?"

Wonwoo just smiled in response and pulled Mingyu out of the lobby and to their car. He insisted that Mingyu ride in the passenger seat as he took the back.

Wonwoo's sister looked almost like Wonwoo's twin. The only visible difference was the shape of their face and their nose. And maybe the crinkles at the side of her eyes because she seemed like a really happy person - all smiley when he got in the car.

"Hi Mingyu. It's nice to finally meet you! I'm Seulgi." She said all chipper and offering out a hand to shake.

"Hi Seulgi." He took her hand and shook it gently, but she shook it rather vigorously and started laughing. It was infectious and he found himself laughing too.

"I've heard _so_ much about you!"

"Wow, Wonwoo hyung talks about me?"

"Well.. not exactly. Our mom talks more about you than he does because he's been talking about you for yea--.." Before she could continue, Wonwoo groaned in the backseat and told her to start driving already. Seulgi looked at him from the rear-view mirror and gave him a salute and started driving. Mingyu laughed.

**

They drove for a bit before Seulgi stopped at the entrance of a park.

"I'll be at a nearby café. Just text me when you two wanna head home. But let's not stay out too late." She said before driving off. Wonwoo patted down his jacket before he led the way into the park. They walked until they reached the playground and sat by the swings. They had to brush the snow from early that night that settled on the seats.

It was quiet for a bit before Wonwoo reached out his hand to him and Mingyu took it with a blush. This was the first time they really saw each each other the confession and he sort of had a feeling the the older was thinking about that too. To ease up on the slight tension, Mingyu started talking about their trip and where they were going. The conversation went on for a while especially when Wonwoo talked about the time he got a really bad sunburn because he was knocked out by anti-histamines and fell asleep under the sun and Mingyu making his hyung promise to show him pictures.

Their talk started to die down and they were just left with silence again. It wasn't uncomfortable anymore. And Mingyu really liked it, hands still clasped even though they would let go while in the midst of a story but would reach out for it after finishing the gestures. He's never really held hands with someone he liked before. Probably because he's never really liked someone the way he did his hyung. He liked that this first was with him.

They started swinging slowly, only the creek of the swing filling the silence between them. He could see from his periphery Wonwoo patting down his jacket before stood up.

He walked up to him and Mingyu had to crane his neck. But not for long.

"Since I won't be seeing you for Christmas nor New Year's Day, I want to give you this now. Good to have at the start of the year."

The older crouched down in front of him and took out a box from his pocket. Mingyu's heart started to race when he was handed the box for him to open. He didn't have to unwrap or untie it, he just needed to remove the lid.

And he felt his heart swell when he did.

Inside was a small makeshift pillow that had a bracelet wrapped around it. It was a simple red woven bracelet linked with an infinite charm on the ends of the rope. He removed it from the box and saw that it also had golden clasps at the opposite ends of each rope.

Despite the chilling bite of the wind that blew past, his face felt hot as Wonwoo took the bracelet from him and unclasped it. He looked up at him and Mingyu nodded before the older clasped the bracelet on his left wrist.

"I read that the red string bracelet has different meanings in different cultures. But it's always referred to something good. Luck, Support, Protection, Redemption and Connection.." he said, finally clasping it on his wrist. He kept his hold on it however as he continued to explain.

"Nowadays, people make their own interpretations in respect to the representations. While making this, I thought about wishing you support on whoever you want to be. Bringing you luck as you try to achieve that. And.."

He paused and looked up at him. It started snowing then and he could feel his heart race as he looked back at Wonwoo, nose red and eyes glossed over something he couldn't define yet with the snow falling around and on him. He just looked at him like that and it made his heart skip a beat. He had no doubt that the older knew that his heart did, what with his pulse throbbing against his hand.

Wonwoo smiled and loosened his grip on his wrist to move towards his hand to intertwine their fingers.

"..and to let you know that I'm here.. just to remind you that you have someone. You have me." He said breathlessly and Mingyu wished once more that he had the power to control time.

Because he would stop this moment and live in it for longer than reality would permit.

Because just like that time they were in his room talking about film school - when his skin was colored warm and smile as bright as the setting sun.. something changed between them.

And Mingyu felt the change settle inside of him.

No butterflies. No carnival fanfare.

Like the snow that would fall and seep to the ground. Like the leaves that would still after they're rustled by the wind.. it just settled.

And Mingyu couldn't help but smile shyly with the fact that it was because of Wonwoo.

"Merry Christmas, Wonwoo." He squeezed his hand.

And with a soft smile, Wonwoo squeezed back.

"Merry Christmas, Mingyu."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs I listened to while writing:  
> 선 (45.7cm) - 유승우 feat. OOHYO  
> It's You - Henry
> 
> Another long one! Really felt a bit of pressure because hehehe 17th chapter.
> 
> Thank you again so much for all of your comments and kudos'! 💎💕💎 They motivate me to write more despite the writer's block. 😢🤧💟  
> Also, if you're on stan twt, hit me up! @jwwbkdngri I might be needing your help writing the rest of the story. @ me if you're reading the fic, I wanna get to know you guys more! Let's be moots!! 🥺👉🏼👈🏼🥺


	18. Chapter 18

The holidays were really, _really_ long this year. He used to think 3 weeks were such a short time. But after two weeks outside the country with internet only available for him whenever they were at the hotel, the days felt longer.

After a long day of tours around the city, he'd plop down in bed barely having the energy to catch up with their friends. His notifications would start to flood for a good 5 minutes before his phone was caught up and he'd go through them. Their group chat would have more than 200 notifications and on most days he would be excited to go through them when he wasn't that tired. But he'd look forward to Wonwoo's chatbox, and he'd be pleasantly surprised that the older was consistent with more than five notifications by the time he checked his phone. The standard set would be reminders on the three meals of the day, update on what he was doing or would be doing and complaints about how noisy people were in the group chat.

On most days, he'd reply but for most he couldn't because he was so pooped. But Wonwoo would tell him it was okay because he understood and he was expecting himself to be even busier in the coming days because of the visiting nieces and nephews. Mingyu was touched that he made it a point to let him know he wouldn't be messaging as much. He really appreciated that and he felt less guilty about not being able to message.

The two weeks abroad were too long, but the last few days of their stay had Mingyu excited because of the one-on-one time he spent with his mom hunting for trinkets and gifts to bring back for their family and friends.

They went to different stalls and stores and after a while, his mom let him go on shopping while she took a break at one of the café's nearby. He left some of the bags with her, filled with a set of harem pants for his group of friends together with a set of woven coin pouches and keyrings. He was on the lookout for a specific trinket for a.. special someone as he scouted the plaza as well as the rest of the local stores they haven't been into yet.

It was a good hour before Mingyu felt a sense of worry of not finding what he was looking for having gone through so many merchants already. He only had time to look for them today because there was a half-day tour again the next day and the rest they just planned to stay at the hotel.

Slightly disheartened, he didn't realize he was already making his way back to the café his mom was at. But then he heard the tinkle of a door bell around the corner before he crossing the street to where the café was. He looked to his right and saw an old looking shop that had a lot of trinkets displayed outside. It looked like a specialty shop and looked really inviting.

The shop was charming and Mingyu felt homey the moment he stepped in. It was quaint and rustic, with displays of trinkets: varieties of cloths, ceramics and jewelry. He suddenly felt excited but still went around the shop before making his purchases.  
Among the cloth sections, he saw a youthful yet elegant set of silk handkerchiefs and instantly thought about Seulgi, Wonwoo's sister so he got one for her. Then, once in a ceramic section, there was a miniature tea set in faded turquoise. The pot and cups were shaped like elephants and he thought it would be a decent gift to give Mrs. Jeon.

Once he was at the jewelry section- specifically the bracelets, he was overwhelmed by all of the options to choose from. They were all sectioned out, with placards explaining the meaning and purpose of the material used and the design. He was too distracted with the variety of selection that he didn't notice the attendant come beside him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Welcome to our shop. How can I help you today?"

"Hello. I'm looking for a bracelet to give.. ah, a special person."

She smiled knowingly. He half-expected her to point to the different jewelry boxes to explain the meanings of those in display. Instead, she gestured for him to follow her and led her to a little nook by the window behind the counter.

It was a makeshift atelier, the desk filled with boxes of stones, gems and different strings and ropes.

"We can make one, if you like?"

"Really?" He said, excitement starting to fill him. Mingyu wanted something a little more personal since the bracelet that he got was made personally by his hyung. He wanted something of equal value but was realistic enough to not expect having the chance to make his gift while one holiday. So this was an opportunity he wouldn't pass up.

The attendant, who turned out to be the owner was very patient with his clumsy hands. She showed him weaving patterns first and had him choose the material. Strings of soft leather in reddish brown were the ones he chose and he checked which trinkets he could add. There was an array of stones and gems in front of him but he leaned towards the stones since those tend to have meaning. The lady explained every single one of them to him, including a preview into the meaning of chakras and how the stones worked with them and he chose four to add to the bracelet.

An hour and a few tweaks later, Mingyu made a bracelet. He was proud of the end-result and even the owner was impressed. When it was time to pay though, the owner just priced him for half compared to the bracelets on display. He insisted but she threatened to not make him pay.

"You did all the labor."

"But--"

"And besides, my dear boy.. I can't really put a price on what this means to you. But I need something for the materials." She winked at him and handed him back his changed and closed the register. That was it, end of discussion. And despite the slight embarrassment, Mingyu was grateful.

He felt acknowledged.

__

The first person he contacted as soon as they flew back and asked to see was Wonwoo. It was a little past 6PM when they were settled back in their apartment. He asked Wonwoo if he could come over and have his mom drive him - but thought it would be better for him to just go to his place since he had gifts for Seulgi and Mrs. Jeon too.

"Is that okay? I hope I'm not imposing."

"I just told Seulgi you got her something and she immediately offered to pick you up."

"Okay let me ask my mom."

When he entered the living room to ask his mom about driving him to the Jeon's, she obliged as long as they wouldn't stay that long to still be able to have a grocery run-in for breakfast the next day. He nodded his head vigorously and went back into his room to text Wonwoo and grab the bags he had organized before flying back full of souvenirs. His hyung replied back with their address and they were well on their way to the Jeon residence.

It was just a short drive, about 20 minutes when they entered a subdivision with a lot of modern looking houses. But further into the subdivision, the houses started to age. The exterior of Wonwoo's home looked modern but with a softer touch and less angles. It was a nice mix of light brick and wood, The front yard had a patch of flowers that looked well tended to and it really looked like a house that had a couple of big fluffy-dogs which was a funny thought because Wonwoo was obviously a cat person.

Wonwoo and Seulgi stepped out with their mom as soon as they parked. Introductions were made and it was pleasant seeing the polite exchange but the moment Seulgi got hold of Mingyu, she was a bag of excitement and Wonwoo had to pull her away from smothering him which made the party relax. The siblings helped him with the bags and Mrs. Jeon invited his mom in for some tea.

They were settled in the living room, Seulgi practically vibrating with excitement as she watched the two boys pull the souvenirs out of the bag. The first box Mingyu got out was the tea set of their mom so he got up and brought it to her as she was having small talk and tea with his mom. Mrs. Jeon blushed and beamed at the gift and excitedly looked at the pieces. She gave Mingyu an affectionate pat on the cheek as she said thank you and he couldn't help but blush. His mom giggled and commented on how adorable he was. Embarrassed, he excused himself and went back to the siblings.

Seulgi seemed calmer now as she helped Wonwoo organize some of the stuff on their floor but buzzed back when Mingyu handed her a box. She practically gushed with silk handkerchiefs and read through the guide that was included in the box on the different ways of using them. Just like their mom, she patted his cheek affectionately as a thank you and headed straight to her room to try them.

Wonwoo shook his head at his sister but turned back to him expectantly. Mingyu smirked at him and pointed at all the gifts in front of him.

"Let's organize these first?"

"So you came here just to have me organize the souvenirs you got for us?"

"Err - yes. I figured you know them for longer, you'd know what they liked."

Wonwoo harrumphed and snorted, wearing an incredulous expression after hearing what he said.

"Let me just remind you, Kim Mingyu that I am not a diary of our friends and the most I know about them are their names, their age and what school they go to."

"Sure." Mingyu replied with a smirk and the older threw a piece of paper gob smack in the middle of his face. They laughed but got into opening up the souvenir bags one by one.

They were talking in hushed tones about their holidays, feeling the need to modulate their voices to maintain privacy from their mothers. And if Mingyu were to be honest, he wanted to listen in to the conversation between the two women. Not that he was eavesdropping, he told himself, but he just wanted to know how they got along considering that this was the first time they met.

The conversation between the two of them flowed freely, probably due to the mother connection and having to deal with raising teenagers. Mrs. Jeon had more to say though since it seemed like she really had a hand in raising them both. She was a professor too, just like her husband but had less hours and units to teach to watch over them. He had to stop himself from gushing when she started talking about Wonwoo being a toddler and his various antics whenever she brought him to one of her lectures at the university.

"They're cute together aren't they?" Mingyu heard Mrs. Jeon say behind him while he was showing Wonwoo the rest of the gifts he had for the gang, helping him determine who gets which. He felt his ears go red immediately and before he could start feeling giddy that someone thought they were cute, he was stopped by the tone his mom had when she replied.

"I'm not sure what you're implying, but my son.. doesn't play for the other team." She said plainly. But he knew his mom.. she was being defensive and was trying to mask some other emotion he doesn't really want to think about. If Wonwoo heard what his mom said, he gave no indication as he continued sorting the souvenirs he bought for the team.

It was touching to see Wonwoo actually segregating the gifts based on how he knew the gang despite his earlier statement- their favorite colors, patterns they preferred.. He would have never thought of Wonwoo of all people to be the observant one in the group and he just felt fond of him. He chose to focus on that emotion as he continued sorting with Wonwoo.

"I'm sorry if that offended you. I just mean they look like they grew up together." Mrs. Jeon replied and he couldn't help but feel his heart go to her. Wonwoo probably was warmer than he knew because he had a mom like Mrs. Jeon.

He chose to tune out the conversation then, but could still hear snips of their relationship and appreciated Wonwoo's mom even more. She tried to ease up the awkwardness and went back into talking about other things and even was able to get his mom engage prior to that 'cute' statement. But he could hear the tension in his mom's voice.

Distracted by that, he didn't notice his hyung grab for his hand while calling out to him. When he did, he pulled his hand to him as if burned, cradling it with the other. The shock was evident on both faces and he thought he saw a flash of hurt from the older but was quick to mask it.

He tried to apologize but the older held up his hand at him and just focused on the task at hand. They made quick work of it and were finished by the time their mother finished with their tea talk.

"I cannot believe you went here just to make me do all of this. I thought you were above slavery?" Wonwoo said out loud and threw yet another paper ball in his face. Before he could react, he heard the two women laugh and realized that Wonwoo probably heard what his mom said.

A wave of embarrassment flooded him but his hyung moved up to him and patted his shoulder.

"You owe me a month's worth of ice cream."

"It's still winter."

"I like ice cream."

"A month, really?"

"My service fee is expensive."

"This is extortion."

Wonwoo snorted before replying. "Extortion is the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats. I'm not forcing you. I'm just saying my service fee is expensive. You could say no, you know." He looked at him, with a provoking squint of the eye and that broke the tension. Mingyu laughed out loud and threw back one of the paper balls but was dodged. The older just laughed, but his eyes told him he looked relieved.

They both looked over to their parents who both wore fond expressions and.. relief. Mrs. Jeon relieved by the familiarity of the bickering and Mrs. Kim relieved of what the bickering implied.

"You really do act like you grew up together." She said and Mrs. Jeon nodded politely beside her.

They left the Jeon residence shortly after, receiving an expressionless wave goodbye from his hyung and a warm hug from his mom. He laughed while she shook her head at her son who still waved at them with a blank face. As promised, he and his mom went to the grocery and got ingredients for tomorrow's breakfast. There was a tinge of awkwardness between them that they tried to dispel. They eventually did when they talked about how to spice-up his mom's french toast recipe but Mingyu knew he wasn't the only one who felt the awkward.

The drive back home was quiet save for his mom humming to whichever song was playing in the radio. Mingyu's thoughts kept going back to what his mom said and how he knew Wonwoo heard it but didn't really show it.

A ding of his phone broke the relative silence in the car and saw a text from Wonwoo. He put his phone back in his pocket, now feeling more than ever to exert his privacy on his personal affairs.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

He knew without asking what his mom was referring to.

"Mom, really?"

"It's just- I was just caught of guard with what Mrs. Je--"

"She answered that for you didn't she? We just look like we grew up together. That's it. Hyung and I are close _friends_ " He said through gritted teeth but tried to keep his tone neutral. It seemed to work though because he could feel his mom relax in the driver's seat.

"Okay. Good. Good." The relief that his mom expressed twisted his heart and he hid his hands that were fisted, the knuckles were practically white. He looked out the window, calming himself. By the time they reached their building, his shoulders were slumped as if in defeat. He stepped out of the car before his mom noticed that tear stain on his right cheek he didn't realize was there during the drive. He wiped it right away as he went to the trunk to grab the groceries.

They walked to the elevator and just stood quietly until they reached their floor. His mom then grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"My precious boy. Never change. I love you."

"I love you too, mom."

 _Never change_.

Mingyu had to swallow down the lump forming in his throat as he held his mother's hand tighter as they made their way back home.

He felt like puking as he made his way to his room. He fell asleep without realizing he never got to give the bracelet to Wonwoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Methinks long chapters will be a continuous trend from hereon out. Fingers crossed I can keep up.
> 
> I think the first non-fluff chapter in the story. Hope you liked it still! I apologize for any errors and inconsistencies. Really wanted to post a chapter today since it's Wonwoo's birthday!
> 
> #Happy_WONWOO_Day  
> #여름밤_별빛같은_원우야_생일축하해  
> #MyYouthWONWOOday
> 
> As always, thank you for the love you've showed and have been showing for this story. Hold on tight for the next chapters! My outline says things will be interesting soon. 💖💖


	19. Chapter 19

The days that followed were weird for Mingyu and before he knew it, classes have resumed. He was honestly relieved. Being around his mom after that moment they had in the elevator was difficult. But he managed to power through it by forgetting it ever happened. He only allowed himself to think about it when he was alone in his bedroom.

But if he were to be honest, his mom was the least of his concerns. He was more worried about Wonwoo. He was sure he heard what his mom said when they came over but his actions showed otherwise. Even the texts were.. normal and he couldn't help but feel like there was something missing. It made him anxious.. that and the fact that Wonwoo never commented on not having a special set of souvenirs from his trip. He had the same one he got their friends.

The bracelet was left on his bedside, encased in a small purple velvet pouch and he's thought about showing it to Wonwoo to tell him that he got him a special gift too. But he held back thinking of how Wonwoo gave him his bracelet. Remembering that night always made him flush and he'd unconsciously fiddle with it. He'd want to have the same effect on his hyung so he needed a _moment_ to give the bracelet to him.

**

The first day back was a ruckus, chaos rather.. what with almost half of their group acting like pitbulls with zoomies. Soonyoung, Seokmin and Seungkwan kept bouncing from one person to the other during lunch showing everyone how much they missed them. They filled each other in on what happened to them during the holidays. In the middle of Seokmin's retelling of the mini play he had with his little cousins for their relatives, Mingyu gave out his souvenirs from the trip and everybody seemed to like it. As soon as they finished rummaging through their own bags, they all began to notice Wonwoo just eating his lunch.

"Did you guys fight? Why doesn't Wonwoo hyung have a souvenir?" Seungkwan asked, and suddenly all eyes were trained on Wonwoo and then Mingyu - they were sitting across each other. He automatically had his hands up in defense as Seungkwan glared at him and made his way beside Wonwoo. It still annoyed him how the younger dotted on his hyung, still failing to notice how he dotes on everyone else - especially Hansol.

The table was quiet as they waited for the answer. Jihoon was looking at him curiously and Jeonghan just gave him a knowing look. Wonwoo was occupied with eating, eyeing the rest of his food. He took his time chewing and Jihoon was about to smack his hyung's arm when he spoke up after swallowing.

"I got mine over the holidays. He came over." He stated plainly. Looking up at everyone, particularly Jihoon.

"He did? Met Seulgi noona for the first time?" Soonyoung probed as the tension started to dissipate.

"Second actually."

"So you've been meeting up during the holidays?" It was Jeonghan who followed-up and he couldn't help but feel that it was a leading question, if not an implication. This time, everybody caught on and eyes were wide in surprise.

"Just twice." And he went back to eating the rest of his lunch, indicating the end of their questions on the matter. But nobody said anything about commenting.

"And to think you've only even been acquaintances for the first two years of the gang." Jihoon said and the rest of the table started talking about their history, filling-in the newbies of the group. Mingyu did not fail to notice the reddening of Wonwoo's cheeks despite his head being down and he blushed himself. But it was an apt reaction since the gang started comparing them both to a video of a dog trying to cautiously pet a glaring cat.

Time slowed after the first day back. Some of their professors chose to take advantage of the "freshness of the mind" to further advance into their lesson plan and have the students anticipate the "challenges" at the latter end of the next month. There was a chorus of groans almost everyday. And to add to the requirements piling up, February was fast approaching which meant the Student Council had to organize a Valentine's day event. Once again, Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jisoo banded together and used their senior card on the rest of the gang which resulted in everyone helping out with the event.

Despite having so much time with just the two of them, Mingyu would forget to give the bracelet to Wonwoo. His reasons would either be it wasn't on his person when they were alone, he had it but they weren't alone or they were too occupied - he forgets to give it all together. Mingyu was feeling anxious about it and guilty. Because he really didn't want it to be a simple hand-off. Especially with how he received his bracelet from the older. And he still wasn't sure he wanted the rest of the gang to know that they liked each other. The constant teasing about them practically being best friends still made him flustered. What more if they found out there was more? The teasing won't stop.

Sure, the teasing. 

He just really wasn't sure how their friends would react. He was at least sure four people would be okay with it. The rest though? But maybe he was putting too much thought into it. They were all okay with Jeonghan and Jisoo even though they didn't declare it. He and Wonwoo could act like two people liking each other and it shouldn't be a problem, right? But then again, they all grew up together and maybe it was something that just came with it. Acceptance no matter what. He was new to the group so they might not extend the same courtesy to him as they did to Jeonghan and Jisoo.

He felt a flick on his forehead.

Mingyu turned with an annoyed, but more surprised look to the one responsible of the flicking. Wonwoo just smirked beside him and resumed picking on the invisible lint on his trousers. They were both by the window, seated on one of the further window sills in the student council room. They just finished some major preparation for the Valentine's day event that was happening Friday next week. Their friends, who were part of the main organizing committee were now playing a modified version of hide and seek where the seeker had to look for the others with his eyes closed to make the most of the break they had from organizing.

Their hands were intertwined, conveniently hidden between them with Mingyu blocking off the view and under his jacket. Wonwoo got cold easy. He squeezed the older's hand. They've always made it a point to hold hands when they could. Mingyu liked it because it reminded him of the night before Winter break.

"Keep it up, Mingyu. Hansol would probably hear how loud the the gears in your head are and catch us." Hansol played the game rather interestingly, standing still for a moment and then bolting to a direction where he heard a noise without even hitting any of the furniture in the way. It was interesting to watch the ones in close proximity to the seeker as they continuously tried to distract him by throwing stuff around to mask where they actually were but it rarely worked. Jeonghan was currently Hansol's target and they could see him figure out a way to cheat out of being caught. Or it was something that he normally did anyway.

Mingyu looked at them fondly and just felt so much for these group of people he considered more than friends. They were his brothers, family. And family has always been known to love you no matter what, right?

"Aren't you scared?" He asked quietly.

"Of what?"

"Of them finding out."

"It's none of their business really." He could feel the older shrug and he looked back at him annoyed. Wonwoo saw his expression and grimaced slightly. The fear and worry must be evident on his face.

The older squeezed his hand and continued to caress his with his thumb.

"I'm apprehensive. But.. I grew up with them and they know me better than anyone does.. flaws and all. And yet they still want me around despite me being an ass to them on most days."

"I didn't grow up with them."

"But they treat you the same way they treat me.. maybe favor you more because you're such a good guy."

"So if they had to choose, they'd choose me over you?"

"I'm pretty sure I know too many secrets for them to risk spiting me and choosing you."

They were too distracted by their conversation that they nearly jumped when they felt a presence in front of them. They apparently were whispering too loud that the younger caught on. They froze and leaned back, avoiding Hansol's outstretched arm. The younger started flailing his arm in every direction, sure to hit on one of them at one point when they heard a crash from the other side of the room and a yelp. Hansol made a beeline to that direction, not tripping on anything as if his eyes weren't closed and tagged Seungcheol who was fake choking Jeonghan who had pushed him into falling from his hiding spot. The whole room was filled with booming laughter and Mingyu really hoped Wonwoo's faith in their friends held bearing.

**

It was the day before the event and Mingyu and Wonwoo were huddled in one of the hidden spots of the library. They had the last two subjects free to allow them to prepare for the event tomorrow. There was yet another set of performances and all years had an entry.

They should have been in the council room doing last-minute preparations but they were sure they were ready when they were slaved away by Seungcheol and Jeonghan for the last couple of days. The duo did call for them to still go to the council room just in case but they knew they would just be bossed around for minimal things so they chose to stay clear of them.

Much like that time in October, he was seated on the left with Wonwoo on his right, their hands in between them, but this time intertwined. He felt a sense of déjà vu and let out a small chuckle.

The older just squeezed his hand as he continued reading. But Mingyu kept remembering the dream that he had and wondered how the Mingyu back then would feel about actually experiencing the dream. He couldn't help but let out soft sighs as he started feeling giddy.

Wonwoo was now too distracted by the noises he was making that he dropped his book and turned to him, tugging their hands towards him and resting them on his lap.

"What's got you laughing like a kid on Christmas?"

"I just remember dreaming about this."

His hyung just tilted his head to the side in question. "Oh?"

"It was when I asked you about being in love, I think. I fell asleep before we had to leave for last period and I dreamt about someone holding my hand. I think I dreamt about you holding my hand."

He looked down at their intertwined hands and smiled. It was really such a good dream because he had it when he finally admitted to himself that he liked Wonwoo.

The older put his free hand over theirs and started caressing his knuckles. When he looked up at the older, he had a fond look over their intertwined hands before he looked up at him. He felt his heart skip a beat with the way his hyung was looking at him. Shy, but doting and held and expression he still couldn't define but he wanted to keep seeing in the older's eyes.

"I did." He confessed in a soft voice that Mingyu wouldn't have heard if he weren't looking at him.

His breath hitched as realization started to hit him and he couldn't really believe it.

That it wasn't a dream.

That maybe.. Wonwoo already liked him then.

And he was taken back to that day. How Mingyu felt a sense of peace settle within him and felt the lull of sleep once more after his musings of liking his hyung. But there was no lull of sleep. Only a feeling of what he could only name as contentment. Was it too soon to feel this content?

An embarrassed smile started to creep up his hyung's face before he returned back to his book, their hands on his lap still. He wiggled out of the hold and he saw the flash of disappointment in the older's face but was immediately replaced by curiosity. He needed his hand free however as he rummaged through his bag. He was going through it violently that he heard what sounded like a scoff come from the other. His hands were flailing inside the bag, hoping to all Deities that he had it with him because this was it. Mingyu finally had the chance to give him the bracelet.

It would seem like such an exaggerated investment over something trivial as a souvenir - a bracelet bought during the holidays. But it was special to him, especially what it meant. The bracelet he got from Wonwoo has been such a huge source of comfort and helped him center himself. And, it was maybetoo much to presume.. but the woven string and a metal charm, felt so much like reassurance from Wonwoo.

After a couple of minutes, he felt it.. the pouch, and immediately pulled it out, dropping his bag with a thud and catching the attention of the occupants two tables down. He held his hand up in apology and felt through the pouch if everything was in tact. It felt like it did. He looked over to Wonwoo.

He was looking at him, eyes with amusement and Mingyu grinned. In the similar fashion he got the bracelet, he handed over the pouch for him to open.

The way Wonwoo's eyes lit up and softened will be cataloged as one of Mingyu's favorites. The moment he pulled the bracelet out, he handled it so gently and was moving his slender fingers from one stone to another. He leaned closer to him and grabbed the bracelet from him and loosened it. Catching on, Wonwoo reached out both hands to him and he chose the left hand to wear the bracelet on. He pulled one end of the string to tighten and knotted it in place.

"Those are Agate stones." He started as he checked the bracelet out on his wrist.

"The lady from the shop who helped me make it -" He continued but was interrupted.

"You made this?" The older's eyes went wide in surprise. He nodded shyly and his hyung looked so touched he wanted to pinch his nose.

"She said that the stones had purpose. They fundamentally protect against negative energy. But the different types have their own meaning. One grounds and centers you. Another calms and heals you from anxiety and the aftereffects of it. There's one too that releases repression. One encourages trust and hope. And the one that I like helps you make the most and enjoy each moment."

He explained as he tried to remember which ones meant which but he couldn't remember them all. The only one he could remember was his favorite, the Dendritic stone.

He slid his hand under his and intertwined their fingers as they both stared at the bracelet on his wrist. A moment passed before they both looked up at each other.

"I want to be that for you."

Wonwoo's eyes shifted and filled with something again.. something he felt like he was close to defining.

"I know it's too much.. but, I just feel like I want to be what the stones represent."

He squeezed the older's hand.. normally so cold but felt so warm in that moment.

"When you need it most, and I'm not around.. I hope the bracelet helps."

And maybe Mingyu's eyes shifted too.

"Thank you. I really like it."

"You do?"

The older nodded.

He placed his other hand over their intertwined hands, the red bracelet coming into view.

"Good. Just like how I like you."

And in the three years he's gone to the library, it was the first time the got a warning of eternal banishment from the librarian because Wonwoo couldn't stop laughing. Nose scrunching, cheeks blushing as the older held their intertwined hands to his chest.

_Sweet laughter in mirthfulness artlessly flowing_

 _Like zephyrs at play through a fairy flute blowing._

They both laughed contentedly and Mingyu never imaged he could love the way a person laughs until Wonwoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote is from Ralph D. Williams in the 'A Dictionary of Similes', by Frank J. Wilstach
> 
> I'm sorry for the long wait but it's possible this will be the trend. Will be updating the story weekly on a maximum. I'll still try to update it sooner should inspiration hit. The stump is pretty hard to overcome this time.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter. 💖🥺👉🏼👈🏼  
> Thank you so much for all the love you've showed this story! Reading it means so much already, but you all add to that by either bookmarking, giving a kudos, commenting or doing all three altogether. Just.. thank you! 💕🤧
> 
> Song I listened to while writing: Realize - Colbie Caillat


	20. Chapter 20

Friday arrived and the event was well on its way. The quad was decorated with different kiosks manned by the different school clubs. Unlike the Winter event, they had the stage set-up in the the middle of the quad instead of the auditorium so it kept the vibe alive. The teachers decided last minute to have them have the whole day instead of having classes for half of it so the students were extra pumped.

The gang met up at the Student Council booth located at the end of the kiosks and near the stage before they scattered around. Unlike the rest of the school who was pretty much free to go around the quad, they were working with a rotation of who does who. Mingyu shared a task with Minghao which was for documentation. Soonyoung, Seokmin and Seungkwan were in charge of hosting the mini concert. Wonwoo and Jihoon were at the sound booth. Jun, Hansol and Jisoo were ensuring security. Seungcheol and Jeonghan were practically everywhere, checking in on the clubs at their kiosks and checking in with the different event committees every now and then. Chan was exempt from all of this since it was his first year and he was performing.

Mingyu and Minghao had the easiest task of all. They were free to go around at their leisure since they needed to take pictures. And Mingyu has been enjoying photography a lot more since Minghao and considered this more as a treat than a task. He took so many shots and made sure to head to the sound booth on his break to show them to Wonwoo. His hyung conveniently had the same breaks at him so he wasn't that much of a bother at the booth as long as he kept still. Jihoon would pointedly glare at him but would start smirking at Wonwoo when they were seated at the back.

"Ease up, Mingyu. People might think Wonwoo snuck in alcohol with how red he constantly is." And Jihoon would turn back towards the soundboard adjusting dials Mingyu wasn't sure were for. Wonwoo threw an empty bottle of water at Jihoon and just got a laugh as a response.

It was a huge comfort for Mingyu that Jihoon knew about them, sort of. He's not sure if his hyung told his best friend about it but he wouldn't put it past the latter to know something was different between them since he wouldn't be at the top of their class if he wasn't perceptive. It was all good though. Being able to act a little more naturally with his affection for his hyung around Jihoon made him feel confident and relieved. And he was sure if they were around Jeonghan, Jisoo and Minghao, he'd feel the same way. So that's almost half of the gang already.

Maybe he could start telling them.

He nudged Wonwoo with his shoulder to get his attention. The older was currently going through the pictures he took during his rounds.

"I think we should start telling them."

"You sure?" He leaned closer and leaned onto him by the shoulder.

"Yeah. I think four people already know."

"Oh?"

"Jeonghan, Jisoo and Jihoon know. I have a feeling Mingao's caught on too even before Winter break."

"So you've liked me before that night?" Wonwoo wiggled his eyebrows and Mingyu mushed his face with one hand, laughing. After a while, he started contemplating on how to approach this matter. Jeonghan and Jisoo never really confirmed anything but it was obvious. They never really declared that they were together but people just accepted it. Maybe it would be the same for them. But.. he needed to factor in that maybe they were a long time coming so when things changed between his two hyungs, it just made sense to everybody. And the new additions just adapted to that since it was already established.

His break was over and he was once again roaming around the quad. The performance at the stage during that time was particularly hyper he went to the side of the side of the side to take pictures of the performers of the crowd. He found himself jumping to the same rhythm of excitement when he felt someone jump beside him. Looking up he saw it was Jun and they continued to jump together, seeing who could jump higher.

Mingyu realized then that he hasn't been spending a lot of time with Jun. Jun, his first and closest and maybe even best friend in the gang. But he knew that Jun, who was older than him by a year - was feeling more in tune with Soonyoung, Jihoon and Wonwoo too. Probably because the four of them were of the same age. He was also part of the dance club so was spending more time with Soonyoung who was the president and lead choreographer of the club. And since Soonyoung, Wonwoo and Jihoon go way back, it was an easy integration for Jun into their circle.

The two of them found themselves walking around the quad. Jun had his rounds to do and Mingyu decided to accompany him. After finishing their rounds, they bought snacks from the Cooking Club and sat at one of the available benches a little further down from where the stage was. The sun was high up but the wind was cold. Still, they made sure to stay under the stage to avoid getting sunburnt.

It was calm around them, all the excitement condensed by the performance area. Despite this, Mingyu's nerves were acting up thinking back to what he said to Wonwoo back at the sound booth. About him telling them. He knew that his hyung wouldn't mind if he started talking to their friends without really telling him his plan since it was clear he had faith on their friends. But he was sweet not to project that to him and was considerate of his reservations.

He looked over to Jun and was surprised that the older was looking at him expectantly.

"What?"

"You look like you have something to say." Jun simply replied before sipping-up the last of his grapefruit juice.

"I do?"

Jun shrugged his shoulders and crumpled up his juice box to toss over the nearby bin. He missed so he stood up to pick it up and throw it properly. He plopped back down beside him and crossed his arms in front of him.

"Yeah, I guess I do." Mingyu responded with a sigh, relenting to the appease the slight tension between the two of them. Jun may seem like he was everywhere - scattered, always so active and mischievous but was actually one of the most grounded people he knew. 

Despite the delinquent vibes he kept casting off, he was smart and was really perceptive. So there was no point playing dumb with Jun even though he really wasn't fully decided on telling anybody as soon as the thought crossed his mind earlier.

"I'm sure you've noticed.. that we haven't been hanging-out a lot. You have your peer assignment with Minghao and your dance club activities. And I'm sure you know who I hang-out with more now." He chose his words carefully and said them cautiously gauging the reaction of the older. But he was simply listening to what he had to say.

"Yep." Jun answered simply.

"It's Wonwoo.." Mingyu started.

"And you like him." Jun finished for him.

His face instantly warmed up and he knew his ears shot red at what he heard. Mingyu felt flustered and started fanning himself, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water trying to find words to say to that. Jun laughed at him but calmed down and suddenly wore a serious expression before he spoke.

"I guess I've had a hunch since summer. But I thought it was just because you bonded so much being the only two people left in the city. Then Minghao and Seungkwan came into the picture and something was off. It took a bit, but I figured both of you started being jealous. Which was something I didn't really look into since you could be jealous when it comes to the friends you're close with. But I was surprised you weren't jealous of Minghao when I started becoming closer with him.. or with Soonyoung for that matter." He paused and looked at Mingyu to see if he was following. There was a shocked expression on his face, but somehow sort of mellowed and Jun smirked at him.

"And then Minghao started asking me questions about Jeonghan and Jisoo. If I knew about them or what and what I thought about them."

"And what'd you say?" Mingyu's sounded a little on edge when he asked that. He just really wanted to know what Jun had to say.

"Nothing really. I never gave it much thought because it was already there when we first became part of the group. And it honestly did make sense. But then Minghao asked me how I would feel if there were other people in the gang who just started having what they have."  
Jun looked at him pointedly, knowingly - nothing else. Mingyu's palms were starting to sweat and he had to stop himself from visibly gulping, his nerves clogging up his throat rendering him silent.

They stayed quiet for a while as the wind rustled the leaves above them. Jun leaned back, supported by his arms as he let the wind play with his hair. Similar to how it was with Jeonghan, he felt like a weight was lifted off from his chest but the dent it left started to fill with insecurities and fear. It didn't help that Jun took his time with his silence, and he couldn't bring himself to break it.

"I.. didn't understand." He heard him say quietly and Mingyu's anxiety skyrocketed a tenfold. This was what he feared. He couldn't look at him, for fear of seeing rejection in the face of who he considered as his best friend and he was trying his best not to cry.  
It was only a moment, but Mingyu felt like it was hours before Jun added to his last statement.

"It didn't make sense. It wasn't like Jeonghan and Jisoo because theirs was just there. To have to know about the beginnings of it.. of something that didn't need to make sense until it did wasn't easy to understand." Jun finished with a sigh.

"Do you hate what I am then?"

"What?"

"You think this isn't right because it doesn't make sense? Are you.. grossed out? Are you mad? Becau--" He wasn't able to finish when he felt the older cover his mouth with his hand, a hard look on his face.

"I'm not finished yet, you nervous wreck." He sounded amused and it made Mingyu pause a bit, a spark of hope coming into view. When he was sure the younger was calming down, Jun removed his hands and wiped the invisible slobber on Mingyu's shirt which earned a whack of the older's hand. They shared a chuckle before Jun continued.

"It didn't make sense.. but that didn't mean it couldn't. Minghao helped me with that thought process. He compared it to math, you know. Like.. it was like looking at the answer to a problem set. You know those exercises we had for Trigonometry when the teacher would give the answer and we had to figure out how that happened? For you to understand why that was the answer, it needed to make sense of what happened in between. So you had to solve it. And once you see how the formula works, you have no doubt that the answer is correct."

Silence ensued which he felt was done on purpose.. for it to sink in.. For both of them.

And Mingyu started to feel light when he heard Jun chuckle. He found himself chuckling too.

"It took a couple of conversations though. Growing up, I wasn't raised in an environment where it was open for people to exist this way. My parents are pretty conservative, but they're nice people." Jun continued as the sound of the wind brought the distant cheers from the performance area. Mingyu trailed his eyes there and just looked at his school mates enjoying the moment and Mingyu wondered how many of them had the same kind of weight he carried. A sudden wave of forlorn filled him realizing how difficult it must really be.

"But it's not my life and story to live in. I wasn't made to live my life for you and I'd feel really shitty if someone tried to tell me how to live mine. I should just be grateful that there are people who want me to be in their lives. And you and Wonwoo are two of the best people I've had the pleasure to meet. I'm thankful I get to be in both your lives."

Jun finally finished with his arms spread wide open, his trademark grin plastered on his face. Mingyu felt like he was gonna cry. Maybe he did. But nobody would really know with the bearhug he was engulfed in, with matching bear grunts that had Mingyu laughing out loud. His laugh was accompanied by the cheers of the crowd in the distance - loud, filled with excitement. Mingyu felt lighter.

**

Days turned to weeks, the days starting to warm. Before they knew it, spring was upon them. The Spring break they had was uneventful. With only just a week of it, they all chose to just hang-out mostly at Seungcheol's place if not the park. They even went to Jieun's café and had the whole cat area to themselves. Wonwoo wore the funniest expression when the first person Sung approached was Mingyu. His hyung refused to give Sung attention all throughout and it was funny to see a human and a cat go through a push and pull.

Further into the semester, time seemed to speed up. Especially when they felt the sudden comes and goes of the seniors during their lunches and after school hang-outs, needing to meet countless paper deadlines and balancing all their extra-curricular activities and studies.

Just like that, midterms were over and they were in the middle of spring. The weather allowed them to ditch the jackets, vests and sweaters. They were finally able to roll up their long sleeves to their elbows.

And because they could, everyone finally noticed the bracelet Wonwoo wore on his left wrist during lunch time.

"Cool bracelet hyung!" Chan exclaimed as he pulled on his wrist and got a better look. The older was momentarily flustered but pulled his hand back to compose himself.

"Where'd you get it?" Hansol followed up and Mingyu was waiting on his hyung for his answer. Looking at him, he was not sure if he wanted everyone to find out this way. But it was just a bracelet, right? A souvenir. Yes, nothing more than just a souvenir from a close friend.

Right.

"From me. That's what I got him from my trip abroad during Winter break." Mingyu said matter-of-factly because it was exactly that. Wonwoo just gave them an expressionless nod and proceeded to unpack the rest of his lunch. His cheeks were pink tho. And only those nearby would have noticed.

He could feel everyone's eyes on him. Well, those who were clueless on what was going on between him and Wonwoo. Mingyu held his breath with the silence that followed. He looked around and was particularly surprised to see Seungcheol eyes narrowed at him and then at Wonwoo. He was sitting beside Jeonghan, who was shaking his head at the former. He got a smack at the back of the head and all the attention was suddenly on them.

"What the heck was that for, Han." He exclaimed as he rubbed the smacked area, some of his hair starting to stand on their own due to friction.

"Stop glaring at the kids." And to add to the scolding, Jeonghan flicked his forehead lightly.

Seungcheol whined. "But Wonwoo got a bracelet and I didn't."

"We all didn't but you don't see any of us giving them death stares." Their were multiple nods of agreement across the table.

"But I want one too." He cried as he scrambled over Jeonghan, Jisoo and Chan just to pout in front of Mingyu.

"I want one." He said using baby voice and he couldn't help but laugh out loud at the older's face - who even was the oldest in their group. He playfully grabbed him by the collar and shook him and Jisoo was the one who pulled Seungcheol off his person from where he was seated. They all keep forgetting how strong Jisoo was.

"Stop acting like a child, I'll make you one."

Jisoo exclaimed as soon as he pushed Seungcheol back to where he was seated earlier.

"Me too!" Jeonghan said.

"I want one too!" Chan seconded while raising his hand.

Everybody then bombarded Jisoo to make them all bracelets and the older had his hands up in front of him in defense, but eventually caved when Jeonghan offered to help him.

"You won't really help me, I'm sure." Jisoo complained as he tried to shoo everyone away.

"Yeah, but I get to do something with you." Jeonghan replied simply.

Their table then was a mix of coos and gag noises and Mingyu felt like he was worried for nothing. That these people was sure to accept if if he and Wonwoo had what Jeonghan and Jisoo had.

He started feeling comforted and confident. He'll tell them all sooner that what he planned. It made him feel excited.

Until he saw the icy stare Soonyoung was giving Mingyu and Wonwoo from the far end across the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day late as promised. Please don't hate me 🙏🏼 This writing stump's pretty bad but I'm able to work around it bit by bit.
> 
> As always, thank you for the continuous love you keep giving the story! 💕 I am honestly overwhelmed we're at 1500 hits so thank you! 🥺🤧😍 Your comments and kudos' help me so much with my writing so this is all dedicated to you! Special mention to MelodyOfMoonlight, 23rdHobbit and I_is_a_cat! Your comments helped me so much to motivate me to write this chapter 💖
> 
> Side note: The bracelet narrative's pretty timely with all the bracelets post from SVT on WV. Joshua is such a sweetheart.


	21. Chapter 21

Mingyu wasn't sure if Wonwoo saw it too. Or if Soonyoung has talked to him about it. One thing's for sure, there was a change in the air whenever he and Soonyoung were in close proximity.

As the days flew past, he noticed that the hard expressions were only directed towards him now or he was too pre-occupied with it to notice if Wonwoo was receiving them too. But the most curious thing about all of this is how nobody else in the group caught on. Jihoon had a vague idea probably since he was just naturally perceptive. If he knew though, he didn't show it. Jihoon, after all, was a mind-your-own-business type of guy.

He was walking down the halls, headed out to the field to where the gang would usually hang-out after class. He had to stay behind to talk to their teacher from last period to ask about a couple of requirements. It took a while since the teacher asked him to go to the faculty room with him to check on some materials that he could inform his classmates about in advance.

Mingyu was on his phone while walking, browsing through their group chat, occasionally reacting to the banter among the gang. The halls were practically empty. Spring encouraged everyone to stay outdoors as much as possible. Even some club meetings were held at either the quad or just anywhere that could allow people to gather. But at the end of the hall, just at the corner before turning towards the exit that led to the track field, someone was waiting for him. He gulped.

"Hey.. can we talk?" Soonyoung said as he pushed himself from the wall where he was leaning, hands in his pocket.

"Ye-yeah. Sure." He stuttered in reply and Soonyoung led him to one of the vacant classrooms close by. He walked-in without waiting for him, leaving the door open for him to enter. Mingyu closed the door and moved to where Soonyoung was, leaning against one of the armchairs at the back of the room by the window. He had one of the windows open to allow some of the spring air in. He liked that, it helped him breathe and calm himself. He picked a chair away from him, placing his bag on the floor and plopping down on the seat.

It was quiet for a while, the distant sounds of their schoolmates littering in as the winds would blow past. It didn't help his nerves though. The longer they remained silent, the more his calmness thinned out. But he looked over to the older and saw that he was looking quite pensive, so he decided to just wait it out 'til he spoke. He was the one who wanted to talk to him anyway.

"I still remember the first time I saw Wonwoo cry.."

Mingyu sat up straighter, eyes trained toward Soonyoung he was still looking out but had his arms crossed in front of him now.

"We were all in second grade and a lot of kids were bullying me. I was chubby back then and kids can be quite cruel. He broke up the three bullies surrounding me and crouched down in front of me to ask if I was okay. I shook my head and he stood up in front of me. He was the tallest among us and was really intimidating with how he glared at the bullies. They stepped back.. but made sure to add a couple of insults in for defense." Soonyoung shook his head, probably remembering what the insults were. Mingyu had a vague idea of it since he was given hell for it too when he had a growth spurt. That he was a freak and all that.

"The last insult thrown at him was that there was something wrong with how his parents made him to turn out that way. Wonwoo remained unfazed and continued to glare at them until they went away. When he turned towards me and asked if I was okay, I could see his face was turning red and his eyes were wet. The insults got to him. I panicked and told him that what they said wasn't true. That maybe he just slept too much. That didn't help though. And he kept muttering that it wasn't his fault. It wasn't anybody's fault he was tall for his age. It wasn't a fault. He cried."

Looking at Soonyoung on his trip down memory lane, he could tell that he was really fond of Wonwoo with the expression he had on his face. And he felt a slight pang of jealousy of all the memories they made growing up.

"I didn't really understand what he meant by that at that time until the first time I saw Wonwoo smile at me." Soonyoung smiled so brightly to himself that something felt familiar about it. And when he looked up to meet his eyes, it clicked.

"The moment I saw him smile, I was brought back to that day.. his face tear-stained but determined, the words "it wasn't a fault" ringing in my ears."

And Mingyu understood too.

Then Soonyoung's stare turned hard and threatening.

"Wonwoo likes to show the world he's strong, impenetrable.. that nothing could faze him. But in truth, almost everything does. I don't know how he keeps it up. But ever since that day at the playground, I swore I would do my best to keep him from crying."

"So you like him too?" Without any hesitation nor second thoughts, Mingyu asked the question with a steady gaze. He was standing now, looking at the older, shoulders stiff with hands in his pockets.

"Not the way you do." Soonyoung replied.

"But you used to. Maybe you still do, a little." He countered.

The older shrugged, but saw his shoulders fall after he let out a long sigh.

"Yeah. But maybe I didn't like him enough for me to actually try to pursue him. And I knew how I like him is not on the same level as he likes you. It felt like it had purpose. Mine was just.. that. Just liking."

"There are stories that are not mine to tell, but just.. Wonwoo really likes you and it's doing him good so far. I don't have to constantly see that Wonwoo from second grade who had to keep pretending to be strong.. who had to worry about what other people think of him.. who maybe thought he was full of faults. "

Soonyoung moved closer to Mingyu until he was about half an arm away from him.

"We're seeing more of his soft side and we might not show it, but we felt more at ease despite being caught off guard. Like, we don't have to worry too much about him holding everything in anymore because.. damn, Wonwoo looks happy."

He hung his head and Mingyu could see a resigned smile grace his face. He couldn't fathom what the other must be going through. He did, in fact, know Wonwoo for longer. And having that privilege, that bond could have helped him further in his pursuit for his affection. But maybe Soonyoung saw it as a double-edged sword, which could either make or break the years they had spent together as friends. And his hesitation stopped his feelings from growing further and wanting something more.

Mingyu has always been envious - jealous of the people Wonwoo's grew up with. To not just know a different side of him, but to actually see and understand how that side of him came to be was something he wished he had. But at that moment, Soonyoung throwing in the towel - he felt relieved. Because in all honesty, he would do the same as the other did. He wouldn't want to risk losing Wonwoo in any way because of the fear of ruining a long-standing friendship.

"I'm not gonna ask you to take care of him, because we all will.." and the older put a hand on his shoulder.

"But maybe keep doing what you're doing." He squeezed before he smiled.

He pictured this confrontation to go a multitude of ways, mostly associated with the same set of fears as the ones he had with Jeonghan and Jun. But this one with Soonyoung didn't feel like he needed to be accepted, because in hindsight the glares weren't because of who he was. That wasn't important. It was because of who he could be to Wonwoo. 

Soonyoung, who has liked Wonwoo for longer than he ever did, just gave him his blessing.

Mingyu smiled back.

No words needed, they both headed out to the field and up the bleachers were the gang was. Wonwoo saw them and waved them over, a smile slowly creeping up his face when he realized they arrived together. Upon getting a closer look, he looked relieved. Mingyu winked at him before Soonyoung plopped down beside him and started squishing his hyung's face before wrapping his arms around him. Arms pinned to his side, Wonwoo just laughed out loud as he let Soonyoung shower him with affection. Mingyu took that chance to check on the group and just like Soonyoung said, they all looked more at ease - Wonwoo's laughter still loud in the air.

**

The days that followed were uneventful for the group. Not much hang-out sessions, not much prolonged interactions in their group chat.. even their lunches were relatively quiet. They were almost done with the school year and their papers and finals were eating them all alive. They didn't even go to the library that much. As much as Seungcheol didn't want to abuse his student council president perks, the council room was turned into their gang's make-shift study room where they all studied and did their papers in between periods. They couldn't do it at the library because they were too noisy - and it was usually full and couldn't accommodate groups of 5 at a time.

Mingyu and Jihoon would help with math and sciences while Wonwoo and Vernon helped with humanities subjects. This went on for two weeks until finally.. they only had three weeks of classes left. The first half after finals week was still relatively hectic with all the deadlines for their papers but come Thursday, they were all free.

They were early at the cafeteria for lunch that day, what with some of the teachers just holding thirty minutes of their classes just so they could focus on checking papers and exams before their own deadlines of the release of the results the coming week. The table was complete except for Wonwoo who was stayed behind to help their literature teacher sorting out papers. He wanted extra brownie points from him since he was planning to ask him for a recommendation letter for college applications.

Nobody was allowed to talk about what transpired during finals week, which has been universally dubbed as hell week. This was the only time they had to relatively relax before all the anxiety crept up again awaiting the results which could make or break them - especially the juniors. They needed to have performed their best this year to ensure a good portfolio for their college applications. It was in all of their heads, but nobody really wanted to talk about that yet.. especially seeing how much stress it's caused the three seniors of their group.

Mingyu watched the aforementioned, all seated at one end of the table. They all wore tired but fulfilled looks. He had no doubt that these three hyungs did well in their finals.. they were all part of the top 10 of their year. Jeonghan was even running for Valedictorian. Their heads were huddled together in whispered conversation - surely talking about what transpired during their finals.

He never realized it, but they spent less time together as a whole this school year. The three were extremely busy with all their academics, extracurricular activities and college preparations. They used to spend so much time together after class by the bleachers, but were now mostly spent in the council room. It was actually subtle way of ensuring that they still all hung-out together. Jisoo would call for a meeting of the peer councilors once a week and after that, he'd ask Jun and Wonwoo to stay behind and by then Seungcheol and Jeonghan would be in the room working on a couple of council matters and then Seungkwan and Minghao would talk to Jisoo about transferee concerns. Half of the gang would already be in the student council room so Jeonghan would just ask them all via the group chat to chill in the council room.

He realized it too late, but the seniors went out of their way to make sure they all spent time together as a whole. And by next year, their group of 13 will just be 10. He felt a lump forming in his throat.

As if sensing his eyes on them, Jeonghan looked up and locked eyes with Mingyu and gave him a sad smile - as if reading what went through his head. He felt like jumping across the table to hug Jeonghan because he couldn't believe he won't be able to see him every day by the next school year. Jeonghan, who gave him the push to understand and process things to know himself better.. who probably helped him get the ball rolling with Wonwoo.

He knew it wasn't really goodbye, it was premature to actually feel really sad about this yet since they still had two weeks of classes left. But he was already missing them, thinking way too far ahead in time. He knew that Seungcheol would be attending the same university his dad was eyeing for him, taking up Financial Management. Jeonghan and Jisoo were going to the same university that specialized in Humanities - Jeonghan would be taking up Psychology and Jisoo would be taking up Linguistics. They all would be far away, their universities being at different ends of the city, almost by the outskirts. They could of course visit but they knew freshmen year would be a crucial year for them to integrate into university life. He wasn't expecting them to come around as often as he wanted to.

Mingyu felt too many emotions well-up inside of him and he felt like it was about to overflow and turn him into a sappy-sputtering mess when he felt someone plop down beside him. He looked over and saw it was Wonwoo who had his eyes closed as if in pain. He turned towards him and as if sensing the movement, Wonwoo leaned towards him and placed his head on his shoulder. 

Worried, he asked him, "You okay?"

He felt him nod against his shoulder.

"Yeah, just chose the wrong day to forget my glasses at home."

Mingyu chuckled and lifted one arm to ruffle his hyung's hair.

"You should have told me, your spare glasses are in my locker." He only heard Wonwoo grunt and Mingyu proceeded to rub his back in comfort.

The interaction came so natural to him that he failed to notice the pair of eleven eyes trained on them. It was only when he realized that it was suddenly quiet that he looked up at the rest of the table that he was made aware of what he - they just did in front of their friends. His eyes went to those who he felt had no idea. Seungcheol's eyes were wide, but not because of seeing something wrong but rather unexpected. Seokmin wore the same expression but a little more incredulous, not believing what he's seeing. Hansol was, well trying to hold down Seungkwan whose mouth kept opening and closing like a fish - but Hansol was smiling. And then finally Chan, whose head was thrown back looking uneasy and annoyed.

Before he could address the whole group, the youngest stood from where he sat and hands slamming on the table and looked over to where Mingyu and Wonwoo were seated - the older's head off his shoulder in surprise. He had to squint his eyes at Chan which made him look like he was glaring but was just trying to see better. Despite the tension that he felt, Mingyu had to chuckle with how adorable Wonwoo looked.

"Please don't tell me by the time these two are gone -" he pointed to both Jeonghan and Jisoo, "that it'll be you two who will be treating me like a baby?"

"You're not that special." Wonwoo answered before he placed his head back on Mingyu's shoulder. There was a moment of silence as they looked at how Chan would react. They expected him to look relieved, which he did but there was a flash of dejection which everybody saw. 

And they laughed. And then they all started cooing at Chan telling him that they'll all baby him once his "parents" leave. And Wonwoo removed himself from Mingyu annoyed because he moved too much. And then Mingyu apologized and offered his shoulder once again which the older readily took.

And they all asked them to get a room.

Wonwoo was right.. his faith on their friends held so much bearing. He was really worried for nothing as he held Wonwoo's hand for all of their friends to see.


	22. Chapter 22

And just like that, the school year was over. The gang, specifically the juniors, soon to be seniors nearly got in trouble when they made a ruckus when their hyungs were called on stage during the graduation ceremony. As expected, Jeonghan was the Valedictorian and they could barely hear his speech with how much the rest of the gang were cheering for him.. Mingyu included. Jihoon, Wonwoo, Minghao and Hansol just stood behind them - the two oldest of the four had their faces in their hands for the most part but were cheering whenever Jeonghan would pause for effect with his speech. They were eventually kicked out but made sure to stick outside the auditorium to give the bouquets they prepared before leaving the three to celebrate with their families.

The weekend that followed, they all found themselves split into two vans on their way to the country side near the sea for an outing before they all had to go their separate ways for the summer. It seems everyone was leaving the city this time. Mingyu's parents set a 3-week trip abroad and then he would spend the rest of his summer with his mom and her parents in the country side. Wonwoo too was spending the whole summer in the country - the first month with his dad's side and then the next with the mom's side.

Their destination was the Choi's beach house for 4 days. Seungcheol's parents were there to chaperone but were really went with them to take care of business in the area. They practically had the whole place to themselves, with his parents only joining them at night.

Afternoons were spent either outside playing sports - either volleyball or badminton, in the waters or at the nearby Geo-reserve for hikes. They had barbecue for the two nights that they were there, with Mingyu, Seokmin, Soonyoung and Jisoo taking charge of the kitchen and the grill but the whole gang helped out. The first night was a sort-of surprise party for Mingyu, Jun, Hoshi, Wonwoo and Seungcheol organized by Jeonghan and Jisoo. It was for the Spring-Summer birthday celebrants.

They weren't able to properly celebrate Mingyu's birthday because of all the school requirements loaded during the last two months of school. It really wasn't a big deal to him, especially since he spent it with Wonwoo who set-up a small surprise for him on the eve of. His parents were on a business trip so he was alone for his birthday week. Exactly midnight of his birthday, their doorbell rang and Wonwoo was at the other side of the door - cake in hand and a party hat on. The older looked rightfully embarrassed with what he did but smiled fondly at him when he laughed.

There were no lights in the living room, just the cake with lit candles in between them as they sat on the floor. Wonwoo sang him a happy birthday in such a small voice but loud enough for him to hear. He never knew his hyung had such a nice voice and hearing him for the first time with just him to appreciate it made him feel even more special than he already did for his birthday. Hands down, it was easily one of Mingyu's favorite birthdays.

Their summer outing ended with a couple of tears here and there and a promise that they'll all keep in touch. The remaining days in the Mingyu had were spent with whoever was still in the city - and unfortunately that didn't include Wonwoo.

Despite the distance, they both remained in touch and stayed connected as much as possible. Even when Mingyu was abroad, he made sure to scout for WiFi signals wherever they were for the day.

There conversations remained the same as if they were together. The only variety they had was the small anecdotes of the people and happenings around them.

And they were a little more open about their feelings too.  
_  
I saw an overexcited puppy run back-and-forth in front of my grandma's house and I bet you could outrun it._

_There was a cat at the end of the alley we were walking past and I swear it looked like you._

_My uncle has this mint-condition vintage camera I'm sure you'd want to have._

_There's a version of that book you were reading in the local language._

_I've been thinking of you._

_I can't stop thinking about you._

_I miss you._

_I miss you too._

They were in a good place - and Mingyu really couldn't ask for more. He was content and wished for things to always be this way. Never change.

But the end of the summer had a different plan. He was looking forward to spending the last week of summer with Wonwoo upon hi return back. He asked his mom to drive him to their house the day after they arrived back from their trip abroad. Same as the winter holidays, he had a bag full of souvenirs for him and their friends for them to organize. This time, he also brought the special gifts he got Wonwoo which were early presses of some of his favorite classics. He was lucky enough to find them in sidewalk and garage sales so they weren't expensive. They were legitimate though, and he was sure Wonwoo would love them.

He sent a message to him on his ETA. His mom told him that she'll pick him up by dinner and to send her regards to Wonwoo's parents should they be home. 

Mingyu's arms started to feel a little heavy as he waited at the front door. He rang the doorbell thrice now but still no answer. He tried calling his hyung but there was no answer. It was only by the 5th ring that someone opened the door. It was Seulgi.

"Mingyu! Welcome back!" She greeted and helped him with his bags.

"Thanks, Seulgi. Where's Wonwoo?"

"He's in his room with Changkyun. Probably why he wasn't able to answer."

He nodded and followed her into the house. She called for his brother and told Mingyu to make himself comfortable.

_Changkyun?_

He didn't have time to mull over who this person was as Wonwoo popped into view. He wasn't sure what he was expecting their meeting to go.. they haven't seen each other in a while and he believes they got even closer despite the distance. But what happened wasn't what he wanted. Wonwoo just said hi and picked-up the stuff he brought and told him to follow him to his room. Well maybe he wanted the privacy of his room to greet him? But then again, this Changkyun was there.

And this Changkyun was sitting on the floor near Wonwoo's bed, sprawled wide with a couple of comics surrounding him. He looked so at home, it bugged him - skirting on the uncomfortable kind.

"Can you not act like you own the place and clean up? I have a guest." Wonwoo complained as he placed some of the bags on the floor. He just smirked at him, sat up and moved towards Mingyu. He raised his eyebrows at Wonwoo and the older just shook his head and picked-up the comic books on the floor.

"You must be Mingyu. I'm Changkyun, Wonwoo's new best friend." A pillow flew from behind him and hit him in the head. He picked it up and threw it back at Wonwoo who just caught it and placed it back on the bed.

"Err, hello." Mingyu reached out his hand to shake but Changkyun just patted his arm and moved back to where Wonwoo was. He started teasing his hyung and he responded in kind and Mingyu started feeling funny. Funny in a bad way. Part of him wanted to leave then because he felt like he was intruding.

"You can leave now, Changkyun. I have no use for your company now that Mingyu's here." He said with the straight face and started rummaging through the bags Mingyu brought.

"Wonwoo, you wound me. But okay. Whenever Mingyu's not around, call for me. Or whether he is, I'm not picky." Changkyun grinned before picking up his comic books and leaving. Mingyu wasn't sure if he was imagining things, but before the new guy walked past him, he smirked at him. It made him feel something he couldn't name yet but he made sure to stand up straighter and square his shoulders.

By the time the door closed behind him, Wonwoo was already sitting by the foot of his bed, the bags set-up on the floor. He patted the space behind him and Mingyu made his way to him and started organizing the souvenirs he bought for their friends.  
They told each other about the parts of summer that they weren't able to share considering the limitations they had being in different countries. Mingyu told him about the random interactions he's had with the locals and how he didn't struggle communicating despite the language barriers. The older would laugh at the most random interactions he would recount.

And for Wonwoo, well he told him about Changkyung. He was the son of his dad's best friend. They sort-of grew-up together since they frequented the holidays and breaks at his dad's hometown before high school when his dad started working on his tenure at the university. Now Changkyun's family moved to the city because of his dad's job which meant he would also transfer schools.. and to their school at that. And they were in the same year.  
And that feeling he felt earlier finally had a name: threatened.

He was quiet after that and they finished soon after. Not really sure what to say or do, it felt like things were getting awkward.

Before he could address it, there was a knock on the door and Seulgi's head popped-up.

"I'm heading to Joohyun's place. Mom said we're gonna have dinner at the new Thai restaurant near the University. I'll be back in2 hours so we can drive there."

"Okay."

"Did you want to join us, Mingyu? I can ask mom."

"No, Seulgi. It's okay. I'll just ask my mom to come pick me up in an hour."

"No need to cut your visit short. Wonwoo will drive you home."

_He'll what?_

Seulgi smirked and Wonwoo glared at his sister.

"Didn't he tell you? He got his license 2 weeks ago. He's been driving Changkyun around so he's used to it by now and we won't crash and burn when he's behind the wheel." She ducked in time before a pillow flew towards her. The sound of her laugh could still be heard despite having closed the door and leaving them be.

"You're driving now?"

"Yeah. I was actually planning to.. uh.. surprise you.. by picking you up first day of class." He replied, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. So that explains why he glared as his sister.  


"So you've been driving for a while?"

"Yeah. I had Changkyun with me since he has a license so he could help me better my driving. He was also my test dummy, driving with a passenger. I wouldn't want you to be in an accident just because I'm not used driving with a passenger."  


"That's.. sweet I guess." But he couldn't help himself, he was pouting. The older tilted his head at him.

"What's wrong?"

"It's stupid."

"No, tell me." Wonwoo said while he grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him towards him, eyes burrowed in worry.

"I'm just annoyed.. that I'm not your first passenger."

"Well technically, it was the driving proctor." He joked but that didn't make him feel any more at ease. First he was threatened, now he was annoyed.. all because of a guy he just met today! It was infuriating trying to waddle through those two things. This wasn't what he was expecting, seeing Wonwoo after almost two months. He was hoping for something else. He sighed.

When he looked up, Wonwoo was looking at him amused. But there was fondness in his eyes.

"Mingyu, if it's worth anything, you're the only passenger I want to drive with."

And before he could respond, Wonwoo pulled him into a hug, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he buried his face close to his neck. The warmth of his skin on his shoulder seeped through the material of his shirt and he felt the annoyance ebb away.  


"I missed you."

His breath tickled his skin and he suppressed a shiver. This was the first time Wonwoo hugged him and he can't help but feel overwhelmed. He's never thought about that before, thinking how good it was already to be able to hold his hand. But hugging him was on another level and all the giddiness he felt flew a tenfold - feeling his hyung's body pressed against his. It was all exciting and comforting at the same time. He could get used to this.

He responded in turn, pulling him closer by the waist.

"I missed you."

This.. this was what he was expecting.


	23. Chapter 23

Mingyu swore to himself that he was going to go all out. He had a good feeling this year, that all will be in his favor. His grades from junior year were exceptional, he had enough extra-curricular activities to establish a capacity for balanced academic life, he felt even closer to his friends.. and he had Wonwoo.

There was the small issue of Changkyun's presence that would throw him off from time to time. He immediately assimilated into the group without any difficulty. It was probably strategic of him to have joined the dance club that Soonyoung's president of. That immediately earned him invites to their lunches and after-school hang-out sessions. Changkyun would always find away to be in close proximity to Wonwoo, if not exactly beside him whenever the guys would hang-out. His existence just annoyed Mingyu to a T, but of course he didn't show it. The preceptive bunch caught on though - Jihoon and Minghao would smirk at him because he was obviously jealous.

"I am not jealous." He said when Jihoon teased him. He left lunch early that time with the excuse of finishing homework. That was obviously a lie. If Wonwoo knew, he didn't show it and let him leave. Jihoon gave the same excuse and walked with Mingyu back to the homeroom.

"Yeah, sure. And oranges aren't actually orange in color."

He groaned. No point in denying it now to Jihoon who could see right past you from a mile away.

"Why does he have to be always around Wonwoo?"

"Easy. He likes him."

"Yeah, Wonwoo hyung's likable. I mean, Seungkwan kept and keeps doting on him whenever he cou--"

"Sengkwan's a different story.. No, Mingyu. Changkyun likes Wonwoo. Probably the same way you do."

Oh.

He suddenly turned around and walked back to the cafeteria. But Jihoon pulled him by hem of his sweater and forced him to continue walking to the homeroom. He followed suit not wanting to stretch the material of the sweater. They were the only ones in the room.

"Okay, you dumb dumb. Before you go all macho trying to assert your dominance, answer me this.."

"Who does Wonwoo pick-up and drive to school with everyday?"

"Me."

"Who's the only person Wonwoo's ever cooked lunch for?"

"Me."

"With both you and Changkyun sitting on either side of him, whose hand does he reach out to hold."

"Mine."

"And last but not least, who did Wonwoo confess to?"

"Me."

"You still wanna make a fool of yourself?"

Minyu bowed his head in shame.

"No. But I don't trust him."

"Trust Wonwoo then. I have it on good authority that Wonwoo looks at you as if the sun shine's out of your butt."

He made a disgusted face which made Mingyu laugh out loud. With a couple of minutes left for lunch, they decided to play hacky sack at the back of the room.

**

"Hey. You know how I said I liked you.." Wonwoo suddenly said while picking off some of the grass under the tree they were seated on in the school's open field.

"No takebacks." He glared and Wonwoo replied with just a pinch of his cheek.

"I'm not taking back anything, doofus." He said after a while. "I may or may not have entered the possibility of adding to the gravity of the pull that lead people to do stuff they would never do willingly in reality."

"You need to stop being so vague with your words."

"You're an idiot and it's in these moments that I'm glad you are."

Later that night, he was woken up to his phone lighting up the room with a ding. He knew who it was since he customized his ringtone and his alone. He sent a photo, a screenshot of his lockscreen. It was a photo of the two of them, a candid shot with him behind Wonwoo arms draped over his shoulders. It was also taken after that hide-and-seek/confession in the old-musty music room when their friends capped off the night at one of the late-night ice cream bars in the city. Ice cream during the Winter - only with him and his friends.

He was about to reply what it was for when he received a pretty lengthy text from the sender.

> Received: 1:47, October 29  
>  Don't ask what this is all about. I know for a fact you won’t be able to get it and we both know no matter how you probe, I'm never going to answer you. I'll just wait until you get it. Despite your tendencies of being dense, you usually come around. Just.. come around quicker this time yeah? Good night. Don't reply, I'm turning off my phone.

The tone of the text was evasive to say the least. But Mingyu kept staring at the photo that was sent to him, trying to figure out what cryptic message he wanted to say.

He only had the details of the photo as his wallpaper circulating around his head, forcing him to look back at that time and wonder if there was anything significant that transpired after. Nothing came to mind. He thought back to the conversation he had earlier with the older. Something about adding to the gravity and doing stuff willingly and entering of some sort. His brain was too muddled at that point.

Before the call of slumber became too hard to resist, he thought back to the details of the photo.

It was a screenshoot of Wonwoo's lockscreen. His wallpaper was a group photo with their friends where they sat beside each other for the first time. The date read that day with the time - 1:43 AM.

He still couldn’t figure it out.

**

The view of the city from the hill was something Mingyu has seen countless of times in movies. He was sure to see it at some point in his life. He wasn't expecting it tonight, seated in the passenger side with Wonwoo in the driver's seat. It was a Friday night of a week that didn't have a homework heavy weekend. Senior year has been crazy so far. Every week was a constant source of pressure for their future and he's not sure how he managed so far. Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jisoo made it seem so with how much they can still hangout with them as well as their own set of friends and be top of the class.

But he would forget that life outside of school was easy. He had friends who accepted him for who he was. He was happy and he was looking forward to senior year despite the impending hardships. He had Wonwoo after all.

The older was currently fiddling with the dashboard sound system, connecting his phone. It was his first time to drive this car. He's always used the old one whenever he would drive to school and pick him up so he was fairly surprised when the older picked him up tonight in this car.

A moment later, they heard the sound confirming that things have been set-up and Wonwoo chose a playlist for them to listen to. Soft sounds of a guitar filled the car and they stayed quiet just letting the music set the mood.

The sky was particularly dark, the moon not in sight. But the view from the lookout of the lights from the buildings and the moving cars were bright enough that they seemed to even reflect the stars.

They had their normal round of conversations - catching up with what's up with their friends, college-related stuff and general updates about their lives that they would miss out on. By the time they've gone through the conversation, they started a round of 20 questions which Mingyu really liked. It gave him an insight into how Wonwoo thinks and after every conversation, he feels closer to him.

"Do you believe in miracles?" Mingyu asked. He didn't keep count oh how many questions they've asked. But he was sure they were almost at the 20th mark.

"I think miracles happen because of two things. It's either everything that happened prior to the miracle were for the end result of a miracle. Like.. it sort of is like fate. Every decision made is meant to lead you to a moment - which could be a miracle. The other would be as simple as people being at the right place at the right time." Wonwoo explained.

"I've never thought about it that way."

"It's technically like it's fated to happen.. but because it's so overwhelmingly good, you can't help but believe that it happened. And maybe that's what they call it a miracle. So.. like this moment right now. It was fated to happen with every decision we've made."

"Are you saying I'm a miracle?" He teased his hyung and the older just laughed.

"We're just at a place in time, Mingyu. Don't overthink it."

"But this is good?"

"With you, it always is."

And they both let out a melodious laugh that filled the car, muffling the song that was playing. It went on for a while, repeating their last cringe-worthy lines and going into fits of laughter. The laugh reduced to giggles until they were quiet, letting the song fill the car once more.

Mingyu felt content.. which was a constant feeling whenever he was around Wonwoo. In the past year, ever since they admitted they liked each other - maybe even before then, he just felt so many beautiful emotions all at once that he wouldn't want what they had any other way.

"Gyu.."

He heard his hyung whisper and looked over at him. Wonwoo had his eyes trained to the front, still looking out into the view of the city beyond the dashboard. He had one hand on the wheel and could see how hard he was gripping him. It made him slightly nervous. The older looked like he was arguing with himself, and Mingyu could see the quick rise and fall of his chest.

"Yeah?" He replied. Eyes still trained on his hyung, he saw that he closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down with the deep breaths he was taking. His eyes were closed. He tuned back to the view of the lookout, allowing Wonwoo a bit of time to collect himself for whatever it was he wanted to say. And maybe allow himself too to prepare for whatever his hyung wanted to say. It seemed to be something really serious if it's having this effect on him.

The song playing panned out and a new one started playing. It was another soft acoustic song that Mingyu didn't recognize but made him feel all warm and calm as the intro played.

Any further into the song, when the artist actually started singing, he wouldn't have heard what Wonwoo said. But the song probably made the older feel calm enough to have gathered himself from being flustered earlier.

Wonwoo spoke. And time seemed to stop.

"Can I kiss you?"

_All the fear and the fire_

_Of the end of the world_

_Happens each time someone falls in love with a who_

Mingyu turned towards Wonwoo who was now leaning closer towards him. Closer than earlier, but not close to be imposing.

_Happens grace_

_Happens sweet_

_Happily, I'm unfazed here, too_

They stared at each other, not a single sound leaving their lips. Even their breathing was muted as they let the song wash over them.

He didn't answer. There were no words to say.

His eyes were nervous, but sure. And he felt grounded with just that look.

Mingyu moved closer.

Wonwoo's breath hitched.

He smiled shyly, as he did in return.

_And the day that we watch the death of the sun_

_That the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on_

_That you gaze unafraid as they saw from the city ruins_

Closer, and closer.. and finally a breathe away.

His hand made it's way to the side of his neck, caressing it with his thumb.

_And the stance of the sea and the absence of green_

_Are the death of all things that I've seen and unseen_

_Are men but the start of all things that are left to do?_

Both their eyes were trained on each other's lips. No one moving further as they both felt the warmth radiating from the other. The corners of his lips raised, and he smiled as he moved to cup his face. He smiled back and they both looked up to meet each other's eyes.

He placed his hand over his, leaning forward until their foreheads met.

Lips still a breath apart.

And for a moment, there was no quiet.

They heard the distant murmurs of the city.. The chorus of the crickets.

Bringing them back to reality. Reminding them both that this was happening. This was real.

They were at the right place, at the right time.

Fated to happen.. Maybe their own miracle.

They leaned in. No one knew who did first, no one asked who did last.

_You are unbreaking_

_Though quaking_

_Though crazy_

_That's just wasteland, baby_

They took a deep breath. 

And their lips finally met.

And everything fell into place.  
_  
Wasteland, baby_

_I'm in love_

_I'm in love with you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song at the end: Wasteland, Baby! - Hozier
> 
> Almost at 2000 hits I am really overwhelmed!! Thank you again for all the love you've been showing this story! 🥺🤧💖 I may not be as responsive as before because of all the things piling-up and I could only come on ao3 to update the story. But please do remember that they give me so much motivation to keep writing and are greatly appreciated. 👉🏼👈🏼
> 
> 💟


	24. Chapter 24

Life was good, Mingyu thought almost everyday after that night. There was no holding back. He and Wonwoo were now openly affectionate - little touches here and there, holding hands whenever they could and even leaning against each other unconsciously whenever they were next to each other - which was almost all the time. He couldn't count anymore how many times their friends would simultaneously gush and pretend to be disgusted. It was really fun watching Jihoon and Minghao grossed out.

But what made it better were the moments shared with just the two of them: The hello/goodbye hugs in the car whenever they go to and from school since Wonwoo picks him up. The even late night conversations over the phone even on a school night. The stolen kisses in hidden alcoves of the hallway. And the non-stolen kisses that last for a while.

Things were going so smoothly, he never though his senior year would be the best year of his high school life. Until requirements started piling up. Until club activities slithered their way in between academics. Until the pressure kicked-in for college applications.

November was both the best and worst month for Mingyu. And to add more to the sour note of the month, Changkyun was always around Wonwoo - even more so now than before. He would always interrupt their conversations, find "valid" reasons to take up Wonwoo's time and just... exist. He's opened-up to Minghao and Seokmin about it and they couldn't help but agree how much he was around Wonwoo.

"It's like he has a crush on him." Seokmin said.

Minghao would raise a brow at that. "Feels like it's more than that."

"What? More than just liking him? He's in love?" Seokmin scoffed at the idea but Mingyu froze.

_Love?_

He's never really thought about that feeling - and wasn't even sure that he felt it. And to think that maybe Changkyun was in love with Wonwoo? He felt his fist clench and chest tighten, suddenly feeling defensive and maybe even afraid.

"Mingyu? You okay?"

He felt a pat on his shoulder and looked to his left where Seokmin and Minghao were hovering over him. He must have been quiet for a while for them to have found the need to hover. Mingyu shook his head and gave them a small smile. Seokmin went back to his seat but Minghao stayed where he stood. He looked up at him and saw the concern in his friend's eyes.

"Don't think to much on an assumption. We're not sure if Changkyun likes Wonwoo, more so is in love with hyung. So don't think about it. It's not going to matter to Wonwoo hyung because his focus is on you and not that guy." Minghao said with a pat on his head before returning back to his seat. He could see from his periphery that Seokmin was nodding at what was said and gave a low-five to Minghao.

Despite what was said, it got to him still. That it would matter.. and that he wasn't sure if how Changkyun felt for Wonwoo was the same as how he felt for his hyung.

_Don't think too much on an assumption._ A recurring thought for the next days but he couldn't avoid doing the exact opposite. Because ever since that day, he noticed more and more things about how Changkyun interacts with Wonwoo. And what annoyed Mingyu that most that the assumptions were backed up by the littlest of things.

But this was also how he started noticing Wonwoo before - so he can't help but feel anxious about their interactions by the day.

And one day, he saw it.

It was lunch time and conversation passed between the group like normal. He was minding his own conversation with Seokmin and Minghao while Wonwoo was talking to Jihoon on the other side of him. Out of nowhere he felt someone took his hand and looked at the perpetrator. It was Wonwoo of course. But the funny thing about the whole ordeal was that his hyung wasn't even looking, as if holding his hand was done unconsciously. Mingyu looked at their intertwined hands and smiled before looking up. And when he did, he saw it. He locked eyes with Changkyun across the table and he glared.

It wasn't soon before long when he found himself alone with Changkyun. He hung around last period to finish up a college application essay while the rest of the class already left for either council, club or varsity activities. Wonwoo had to rush to a meeting in the council room for his committee's meeting and told him to just wait for him here so that they could go home together.

After a couple of minutes of writing, he heard the door to the room open and saw Changyun slide in and made his way to where he was sitting. He went back to finishing the last bits of his essay before giving his attention to Changkyun. He was obviously there for him as the other chose to lean against the desk in front of Mingyu. After scribbling down the last corrections, he looked up and made sure to square his shoulders.

"Changkyun."

"Mingyu."

And then a stare down. Mingyu could feel his jaw clench and chest puff out slowly as it went on. Changkyun also pushed himself off from the desk and towered over him - mouth set in a smirk.

"Can I help you?" Mingyu started.

"As a matter of fact, you can.. can you put in a good word to Wonwoo for me."

To say Mingyu was stunned was an understatement. Was he for real? Why would he ask that?

_Don't think too much on an assumption._

He raised a brow at him and made sure to keep a leveled tone with his reply.

"Is it for his committee in the council? Or do you need help for a class but are to shy to ask him for help?" He tilted his head to the side for effect on his curiosity. It seemed to irk the other more as his nose flared up. He had to stifle a laugh.

But the other pulled himself together and schooled his features back into a smirk.

"You know what I mean. Make me look good. Further the attraction."

"Attraction?"

"Pretty sure I'm obvious.. I like Wonwoo."

"Really now." He replied sarcastically and leaned back on his chair, arms crossed. Changkyun placed his hands on his desk and leaned forward.

"No doubt. For the longest time, really. Just never had the chance to act on it before because we rarely saw each other. But now that I live in the same city, the same neighborhood.. I can finally do something."

"So why don't you do it yourself?"

If it were possible for a smirk to widen, he did it.

"Come on, Gyu. Help me out. Aren't you like, best friends?" Changyung asked rather condescendingly.

"Jihoon's his best friend." He replied plainly, but bits of his annoyance showed.

"What are you then?"

And Mingyu was stunned, because he couldn't answer the question right away.

What was he to Wonwoo?

What were they?

But.. did it matter? They were good with what they have. They were content. There was no need to change anything.

They were, weren't they?

Because he was.

Wonwoo was too right?

The hesitation was enough for Changkyun to morph his smirk into a triumphant smile. And for the first time in his life, he wanted to punch that smile from his face. But he just resolved to a glare.

"That's none of your business now, isn't it?" He retorted and Changkyun had the audacity to laugh.

"Of course it is. I don't want anybody getting in the way. I could just wait it out you know, but I am rather impatient."

"What do you mean by waiting it out?"

"Waiting out Wonwoo realizing that you aren't serious about him."

He stood up suddenly, nose flaring and eyes set in a very hard stare directed to Changkyun. Changkyun, who still wore a triumphant smile. He clenched his fist.

"Who the fuck do you think you are to say that I'm not serious about him."

"Because I can see things you can't. I may not be with Wonwoo for most parts of the year but I grew up with him. And I know when Wonwoo's anxious."

"And what makes you think I can't tell?"

"Simple, because you're only really thinking about yourself in all of this."

He grabbed Changkyun by the collars of his shirt.

"You don't know me."

"I know. But I know a selfish prick when I see one. Tell me, Mingyu.. wasn't it you who decided when to tell your circle of friends? Wasn't it Wonwoo who had to adjust and hide how he felt for you because you weren't ready? Wasn't it Wonwoo who initiated everything? Confession? Physical affection? Maybe even the kissing?"

Mingyu reacted by instinct and raised him up and brought his face closer, teeth barred and snarling.

"You say it as if you don't understand where I'm coming from."

"Oh trust me, I do. But you don't understand where Wonwoo's coming from."

"I don't believe he'll talk to you about this."

"He didn't really need to tell me anything. I have eyes, I can see."

He pushed his off and Changkyun stumbled slightly but anchored himself with the desk behind him.

"And what have you gotten out of it? That you're better than me in all of this? I don't think he feels the same way about you than he does me. I mean, you've known him for so long but nothing." He smirked.

Changkyun just shrugged his shoulders, unfazed.

"So? I can make him like me."

"And how are you going to force someone's feelings for you."

"Easy. I just give him what you couldn't."

He snorted and Mingyu couldn't help but feel so.. frenzied with everything that he was feeling. But if he were to be honest, he was overwhelmingly threatened by what was happening, what the other was saying.

"And what is that?"

Changkyun sauntered around his desk to stand directly in front of him, no barrier in between. He looked Mingyu up and down before smiling disgustingly sweetly.

"My parents know I like him. His parents probably do to. What about you?"

A myriad of feelings flooded him at the same time: anger, confusion, fear, frustration. But what hurt the most was shame. Without even knowing, he lowered his head. The other took this as an acknowledgement of defeat and backed away slightly.

"Wonwoo doesn't deserve to be kept a secret. He's special. Worth so much more than either of us could give. That's why I'm willing to give him my all. And that's the difference between me and you." Changkyun said with finality and walked out of the room, leaving Mingyu still stunned and standing.

He couldn't begin to figure out all of the things he was feeling. There was never any instance for him to feel so many things at the same time.. except with Wonwoo. But all of those feelings were good. This, this was whole bag of garbage. And he couldn't help but feel like he was too.

Was he the only one content with this?

Was Wonwoo really not happy?

These thoughts repeatedly ran through his mind that he wasn't sure how long he was standing. The more the thoughts ran through his mind, the worse he felt. He felt his skin go cold. He felt sick.  
But by the time he came to, Minghao and Seokmin were standing in front of him, faces filled with worry as they repeatedly called out to him. Both had one hand on each of his shoulders, giving him comforting pats and squeezes.

"Gyu. Are you with us?" Minghao asked cautiously. He looked at him, then at Seokmin before looking around the room. His eyes stopped at the desk in front of his, remembering who was standing there a while ago and he couldn't help but feel rage.

Rage that was suddenly washed down with shame, thinking back to what he said.

"I think I fucked up."

He didn't realize he was crying until he gingerly reached for his face. And from the looks on the splatters on his shoes and on the floor, he's been crying for a while.


	25. Chapter 25

The days that followed after that meeting with Changkyun had him consistently on edge. His anxiety was rising by the day. But the weird thing was, if Wonwoo noticed - he didn't say. He would just be extra attentive or just be.. there. And Mingyu should really be relieved but it made him all the more guilty.

Guilty to the point where he would either come to lunch late or leave early.

Guilty to the point where he would find excuses not to go to and from school together.

Guilty to the point that late night conversations were cut short with the excuse of having too many things to handle.

But Wonwoo didn't say anything. He was just there and it feels unfair.

Unfair for Wonwoo.

"Oh for the love of all things sane, Mingyu! What did I just tell you?? Don't think too much on assumption! You should talk to Wonwoo. It's his feelings you want to know right? Not what Changkyun assumes it to be!" Minghao would exclaim whenever they found himself and Seokmin stuck accompanying Mingyu during their free period. Seokmin would sigh heavily and nod his head in agreement.

Mingyu knew Minghao was right. He really shouldn't be doubting Wonwoo this much. But as much as he hated to admit it, Changkyun got to him. He wasn't doing enough for Wonwoo. And it was true to an extent.. what they had, the progress of it was all dependent on him. It was really sweet of his hyung to allow him to take his time to adjust to all of this since this is the first time he's felt this way.. and in an unconventional way at that.

But.. how did that make Wonwoo feel? You can easily tell when someone's happy. And he seemed like he was, it showed whenever they were together. But what happens when he's not around. Is that what Changkyun was talking about. Is that what he saw?

How much was this really affecting their relationship?

_Relationship._

What kind of relationship did they have really? The liked each other, very much so. And quite fond of the other. They've spent so much time together than apart - time apart not by choice. They've talked well into the night and even past the break of dawn. They knew each other's fears, hopes, dreams.

But what were they?

A fresh wave of guilt would hit Mingyu as he pondered over that question.. realizing he was probably the reason why he couldn't answer that question. Because, if he were to be honest, Wonwoo was a secret.

Yes of course, their friends knew. Probably the whole school's noticed by now.

But outside of that, he was a secret.

_My precious boy. Never change. I love you._

The words his mom said to him after visiting the Jeon's for the first time would ring in his ear and he'd feel like puking almost every time. He knew his mom loved him, she would always say. But would she still love him if she found out? About Wonwoo? About who he was?

This felt different than the fear he felt when having to tell his friends. They never gave him a reason or told him directly not to change. He was encouraged to be true to himself and Mingyu swore to keep these people close. Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Jisoo, Jun, Soonyoung, Jihoon, Seokmin, Minghao, Seungkwan, Hansol and Chan.. they never treated him differently even though he changed. 

_the bonds you've made - whether with family or not, will be more important over the simple fact that you're related by blood._

Minghao's words rang with so much truth. But his mom, his family.. she's never done anything to merit his ill feelings. Not his mom, of course not her.

And now, he wasn't sure changing things would be worth all of the struggle. Since everything was okay. Nobody's getting hurt.

Wonwoo wasn't hurt, right?

Nobody's getting hurt.. except for Mingyu who was an exception to even himself. Even though he was obviously struggling no matter how much he tried to hide it.

***

"Gyu, are you mad at me?" Wonwoo asked while they were at a stoplight. It was a Tuesday and they were headed home from school. He had his eyes set straight ahead but he could feel the worried eyes on him. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"No, hyung. I'm sorry. I've just been really off lately." Mingyu answered in a small voice. His hyung then reached out to hold his hand and gave it a squeeze before replacing it on the steering wheel. Mingyu felt immediately comforted, but the guilt showed it's ugly head and started slowly crawling up his chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Okay then. You know I'm here if you need to talk."

At that moment, Changkyun's reared his face in his thoughts and uttered the same words he said back then

_Wasn't it Wonwoo who had to adjust and hide how he felt for you because you weren't ready?_

This felt like another adjustment Wonwoo had to make. He sighed.. he really didn't want to prove Changkyun right because he was wrong. Dead wrong.

"Can we go to the look-out?"

"You're not needed home any time soon?"

"Never am."

Wonwoo just nodded and drove off.

Once they reached the look-out, the were quiet. Wonwoo sat in the driver's seat, seat belt unbuckled and just tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song that was playing. He didn't probe, and just waited patiently for Mingyu to start talking.

And there it was again, Wonwoo adjusting. All of the guilt he's been feeling since that confrontation he had with Changkyun started piling up and he was restraining himself not to physically gag. This was bad if it was manifesting into something physical. He needed to do something about it.

He looked over at his hyung who was looking out aimlessly. He reached out for his hand and like clock-work, he laced their fingers together and Wonwoo put their hands on his lap. The effect his hyung had on him was just so good, he felt so much lighter.

But Wonwoo looked at him with a crease between his brows - eyes sad and lips quivering slightly.

"Mingyu.. are you about to tell me you don't like me anymore?"

_What?_

His eyes went wide and he immediately leaned forward to be closer to his hyung, moving their intertwined hands on his lap, cradled by his other hand.

"Why would you ever think that?" His voice was small, but he sounded too apologetic the other stiffened.

"You can just tell me, you know."

"Hyung.. I like you. Don't think I'll ever stop." He looked at him with pleading eyes, to show him how sincere he was about his feelings.

"Then why have you been acting weird lately?"

_Because of stupid Changkyun._

"Why?"

Mingyu raised his brow at Wonwoo. "Why what?"

"Why have you been acting weird lately because of 'stupid' Changkyun?"

Oh. He said that out loud.

If there was anything he was sure of, it would be to not tell Wonwoo what conversation transpired between him and Changkyun. There were too many things there, bad things that could trigger change between the two of them. And he was sure it wasn't the good kind.

But what should he tell him? Changkyun was stupid. And he was really a pain with how much he was around Wonwoo. And how assuming he was about their.. whatever it was between them.

Might as well start with the less incriminating statement.

"He's just.. been around a lot. It's like he has a crush on you or something."

"He does." Wonwoo answered back and Mingyu was stunned in his seat. His eyes went wide and he couldn't help but give his hyung an accusing glare.

"You know?"

"He told me?"

"And?"

"And what?"

"What did you say? Did you do anything about it?"

Wonwoo looked at him, brows furrowed once more and lips in a frown. It was his turn to give Mingyu an accusing glare and maybe Mingyu shrunk a little.

"Why would I do anything about it?"

"Uh, because he confessed?"

"Should I really do something about it if I don't like him back?"

That statement helped alleviate a little bit of the strain he's been feeling lately. He never had any doubt about Wonwoo having feelings for Changkyun but it was a good thing to hear it out loud.

"Is this why you've been acting weird?"

"Yes." _But not totally._

Though being with his hyung nad having this conversation is starting to make him feel a little bit better now. This all happened because of Changkyun. This is his fault. There was no reason for him to feel guilty about anything since all of that was instigated by the jerk to try and get in between th--

"You doubt how I feel about you?"

And then he was wrong. He looked at Wonwoo who asked in such a small voice but his eyes were hard as he set his vision in front of him, away from Mingyu's eyes who he was looking at earlier. The guilt rose with the bile and it was back, the physical manifestation of how much this was affecting him.

But he needed to do something about it this time, seeing how his hyung was reacting. And he did in typical Mingyu fashion.

He tried to pull his hyung towards him while leaning in to meet his frame which was trouble since he lacks certain body coordination and nearly toppled over Wonwoo in the small confines of the car. He ended up landing chest first onto his lap with the older's arms tucked under him forcing him to lean other him as well. He tried to flip himself around but had a hard time because of his hold on the older's arms so he was just moving around like a fish trying to twist his body upward.

Wonwoo let go of hands and helped him flip over, face-up on his lap while laughing the loudest he's had that day.

"You're too limb-y for your own good." He said while trying to stop himself from laughing.

Mingyu couldn't help it. He may have been clumsy but he was strong enough to pull himself a bit while pulling down his hyung gently by the neck for a kiss.

It wasn't one of their normal, sweet kisses. Nor was it the heated kind.

This kiss felt steady, comforting... sure.

And he would really have wanted to go on for as long as possible if his body didn't cave to the strain the position he was in. He pulled away, fell back down on Wonwoo's laugh a little breathless from holding himself still that way.

"You have a good core." Was all Wonwoo said as he carded his fingers through his hair and Mingyu couldn't help but hum in satisfaction.

He patted his stomach proudly and grinned at Wonwoo. When the amusement settled, Mingyu was brought back to the question his hyung asked before his clumsy episode.

"I don't doubt how you feel about me, hyung."

"They why've you been acting weird."

"Because if there's anyone worth doubting here.. it's me."

Wonwoo's eyes widened in what he could only describe as fear. His hands stopped from playing with his hair too.

Sometimes, he really needed to think before speaking - foot-in-mouth disease and all.

"Hyung, no. What I meant was.. with the way I've been treating you, you should be the one doubting me."

"Should I?" Wonwoo shot back, not hiding the trepidation - manifesting in the way his voice cracked when he asked.

"NO!" He exclaimed as he quickly sat-up, nearly hitting Wonwoo's head in the process. He recovered immediately and reached out for his hands and gripped them.

"I'm just.. I feel like I haven't been, I don't know.. returning the favor? It's like.. I'm not doing as much as you are for me, for us." He made sure to sound sincere and to have them show through his eyes as well.

"But I'm not asking you to keep up with me. This isn't a competition."

"But you give me so much and I don't give as much back."

"Who says? I'm already pretty lucky you like me too."

That made his previous feelings of guilt bubble-up once more. But before it could grow any bigger, Wonwoo let go of his hands and placed them on his shoulders as he leaned in and kissed him gently. They stayed in the kiss until Wonwoo could feel Mingyu's shoulders relax under his hold.

"Mingyu, I didn't like you because I was expecting you to like me back. I like you because of you. That's it. I don't like people based on the possibility of them returning the feeling. I like you. But I do admit I get something out of liking you.

I get to wake up on a school day looking forward to it because I get to see you.

I sleep better because you're the last thing I hear before I close my eyes.

My hands don't feel so cold anymore because I have your hands to keep them warm.

I get so much already, and so much more because you like me t--"

Wonwoo was not able to finish as Mingyu leaned in and crashed his lips over his. It was heavy, releasing the doubt he's been feeling slowly as he moved his lips. Every touch, every release of breath grounded him to this moment.

With him, with Wonwoo as the sun set over the horizon from the their view on the look-out.

Breathless, they pulled away but stayed close and leaned against each other - eyes closed and relishing in the warmth they've made around them.

The kiss ended with an assurance Mingyu never realized was the only thing he needed.

"I do too, you know. Get something out of liking you."

"And what's that?"

"You make me want to be myself more. And maybe even better.

And you.. you just make me happy."

A peck on his lips.

"Yeah?"

A peck in return.

"Yeah."

He went in for an embrace and held Wonwoo close, tucked under his chin as his hyung nuzzled his neck.

They stayed like that for a while before he felt Wonwoo's lips move against his neck with a whisper.

"Ever wonder what's gonna happen if we don't make it?"

"Nope. Because we will."

And he felt Wonwoo smile - he did too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the very late update. Everything's just been piling up recently. And I admit I may be avoiding writing the rest of the missing chapters because of the proceedings of the plot. I'm not going to say any more just in case I spoil anything.
> 
> As always, thank you for still reading the story and being patient with me! Thank you too for all the comments! ❤🥺👉🏼👈🏼❤


	26. Chapter 26

Mingyu stood by his study desk. All of the papers scattered on top of it now piled up - stacked accordingly. They were grouped into universities. Yes, it was the day of college application submissions. It was 4AM and he was the only one awake at home. He wanted to go wake his mom up to comfort him, maybe tell him whatever he decided on was something she and his dad would support no matter what.

But they only wanted him to go to one university. He had a stack of applications for three.

One was what they wanted, one was film school and the last was for the university Wonwoo applied for abroad.

He’s had hefty discussions with Wonwoo about college and he’s lead the older to believe that he was set on the university his parents wanted for him. Wonwoo would encourage him to pursue something he wanted because from what his sister Seulgi has told him, college will mold how you’ll see, live and breathe the world. It was the time to really choose for yourself because all the things that happen in college will really build the adult world you were to enter. Granted it’s already created, but the reality morphs into something else.

It was so difficult to explain because they weren’t college yet, but Wonwoo spoke as if he got it. And maybe he did to.

Because if he pursued something he didn’t really want, he might develop the capacity to just be bitter. Bitter and just be full of regrets because he couldn’t do things for himself.

College was a time to make mistakes. And he would be ready for them, claim them as his own and learn from them - if it was all under his control, based on his decisions. He knew it would be a different story if the circumstances were different and no matter how much he would be mature about it, he’d blame it all somewhere else and never learn.

He didn’t want that.

So he packed all three letters stack of application requirements into their designated envelops. He wrote the addresses of the receptions of the applications and stuck on different stamps on them.

At 5AM, Mingyu was already ready to leave for school. Wonwoo was gonna pick him up in an hour so they could drive to the post office to send their application forms together. He was in the kitchen making some sandwiches for the two of them to eat for breakfast when his mom stepped out of their bedroom.

“You’re up early.” She said as she cupped his face affectionately before opening the fridge to grab milk and some of the ingredients she were to use to cook for breakfast.

“I’m heading to the post office before class.”

“College applications?” She asked as she poured milk in a glass.

He nodded and offered one sandwich to his mom. She thanked him and took a bite, slowly chewing. By the time she was done with that bite, he has already packed all of the sandwiches.

“Just so you know, I’m proud of you Mingyu.”

She kissed him on the cheek and he smiled shyly at her. He grabbed his stuff, sandwiches packed in his backpack slung on his side and letters in one hand. He headed down to the lobby because he got a text that Wonwoo was just around the corner. Just when he stepped off the elevator, Wonwoo came around and he rushed out the building to get in the car.

“Hi. You have everything?” Wonwoo greeted and smiled at him. Wonwoo, smiling at him eyes still a little puffy from waking up and nose and cheeks red because he likes to drive with the windows open - effectively reddening his cheeks with the bite of the chilly morning wind.

He held up one envelope.

“Yep.” It was the envelope for the film school he wanted to go to.

The second envelope, he had in his bag because that was to be sent through the school’s registrar.

The third envelope, the one for the university his parents wanted him to go to.. was missing.

He probably dropped it while rushing to get in the car.. by accident.

And would never get it back… because it was stamp-less, no sender information written in the front - stuffed with blank application forms.

Mingyu was never gonna get it back.

***

If only Mingyu were allowed to scream, he would. But considering that some seniors were still finishing up on the CSATs in the building, he chose not to let the stress get to him. His education up until that point built him for this, but part of him felt like it wasn’t enough. He knew he did well though. But the sheer stress and pressure brought about by the CSAT were enough to make him make a double take and question himself.

He really needed to distress. So there he was, outside of the campus he was assigned to waiting for Wonwoo who said he would pick him up. Mingyu had to message his mom not to and said that he had plans. Knowing how much he needed to let loose, his mom didn’t argue and even wired some money to his debit card to spend.

Soonyoung suddenly came into view, looking energetic for someone who just took a test that could define the rest of his academic life.

“Cheer up, Mingyu! Look at it this way.. it’s all over. No need to stress about school anymore!” He said while draping an arm on his shoulder - which was always awkward because of the height difference.

“Our grades for the rest of the school year would still matter you know.”

Soonyoung just stuck his tongue out. Not long after, Wonwoo came into view. Jihoon was already seated in the backseat when they got in.

“I thought you were gonna pick up Jun?” Mingyu asked as he buckled himself into the passenger seat. Soonyoung was trying to hug Jihoon in the backseat who was blocking the attempt with just one arm extended. Wonwoo was watching them from the rearview mirror and chuckled before he turned towards Wonwoo.

“Seokmin picked him and Minghao up. Hansol’s already there with Seungkwan.”

And then they drove off to their school, to the bleachers to unwind and maybe drink some nicked cans of beer care of Hansol.

***

Time seemed to fly by fast after CSATs. Before they knew it, it was winter break. Mingyu was grateful for this winter break because it seemed everyone stayed in the city. It was easier to meet up with them during the holidays. And they had more reason to since the college dudes Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jisoo were also in the area.

They would meet up at their favorite ice cream parlor and continued on with the irony of having ice cream in the cold. Then they’d drive around the city and venture into different parks. It was easier to go with all 13 of them in tow since there were more of them who had their driver’s license. They would even go as far as spend a spontaneous weekend in one of the small towns in the outskirts of the city just to live on their own.

And he was really thankful that Wonwoo was still able to monopolize their car even with Seulgi in the city because he gets to spend a lot of nights out with just the two of them at the look-out. Still talking, getting to know each other and maybe a song here and there.

The holidays made him hold such high spirits - and even more so with the good things that have been happening. He felt like he’s made the right choices that it actually manifested in good karma.

“I like seeing you like this.” Wonwoo said when they were in the backseat of the car by the look-out, huddled close to stay warm with soft lo-fi music playing from the dashboard.

“Like what?”

“Happy.”

“Because I am.”

“Mind telling me what’s got you so happy all the time?”

The older asked as he wrapped an arm around him and pulled Mingyu closer. He wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer, resting his head on his hying’s chest - reveling in the muffled sound of his heartbeat under his sweater.

“You.”

“You too, Mingyu. You too.”

And they kissed.. and kissed.. and kissed. So much. Until the windows fogged up. And if they weren’t at the look-out where they had the perfect view of the sky, they would have missed the fireworks that started to fill the sky.

They were supposed to do a countdown.

They were supposed to count to one and then kiss.

But they were already kissing.. so much, they missed the first few seconds of the new year.

But it didn’t matter. 

Because they spent their first New Year’s together, and in the way they wanted to.. in a way.

***

Friday before classes were to resume was when all of his good karma started falling apart.

Scratch that, that’s when it all fell apart.. and everything else just went to shit.

It started with a phone call. A phone call from his mom sounding frantic. The moment she mentioned the name of the university they wanted him to go to, he knew they probably found out.

He was told to come home early so that they can talk.. because she found out first and his dad didn’t know yet. He was out with his friends.. it was the last day they get to spend with the college guys before they leave. They weren’t planning on ending the night early anyway so he told them he’d be back but with no promises since Wonwoo won’t be able to join them. Their going to have family night since Seulgi too was leaving the next day.

He practically sprinted home to his mom. Maybe they could talk about it - tell her what he really wanted to do. And he knew she loved him so she was going to support him right?

But they never got to tell her alone. Because the moment he stepped in to their apartment, his dad was already there - standing tall and provoking in their living room - eyes hard and set on Mingyu.

***

In all of his life, Mingyu was pampered and dotted on by his family.. well, just his mother in particular. His father, that was a relationship made more of obligation over love.

He had to be a father in order to ensure the succession of his company.

And to his father, his main purpose was to fulfill the succession. He was fairly lenient, letting him do whatever he wanted as long as he the end goal would be the family business.

Mingyu never questioned this since he still could do whatever he wanted. But now that had to make a decision that will affect the rest of his life, he suddenly felt suffocated - caged. Realizing later how his life has been manipulated to stick to just one path.

All those encouragements with math because he was so good at it when in fact he was tutored at a young age and was made to believe his interest was made on his own volition. Forced into social gatherings to establish his extroverted ness when it was just to set his footing among the business families his dad was associated to. Moving to this part of the city because his current high school had the highest passing rate for the university his dad was eyeing for him...

Mingyu felt his skin go cold. The only saving grace all of the manipulation brought about was his friends.. and Wonwoo, his Wonwoo.

He willed himself to think of the good things as he pushed himself off the floor and cupped the side of his face which started swelling. Applying any more pressure would make him flinch as his skin has become tender to the touch.

He told his father he didn't send an application form to that university. Film school, he wanted to go to film school he kept saying. And his dad went on a tirade of how he's a fool sacrificing all the efforts they've put in to lead him to that university. All their plans were ruined. Even setting him up with the daughter of his next target merger who applied for that university and was sure to pass considering her family background.

That was when it all spiraled down. Literally with Mingyu on the floor. He told his father that he was never going to allow himself to be set-up with another person because he had someone already. Then questions started flooding in on who she was, what her family background was, was her family in any business. All of this were done with insults in between because apparently his decision not to apply for that university made him a poor judge of character.

He wasn't sure what it was that pushed him to say it. Was it the endless tirade of insults? The realization of how his life was a lie? How he was never loved by his father but was only a mere pawn in the game he was playing?  
Or maybe the possibility of just not having Wonwoo.. not even as an option.

He said he had someone. And that someone wasn't a she. And he knew he loved him.

The moment he said it, the room went quiet, cold. One could hear a pin drop with the silence that ensued. It was broken when he heard his mother sob loudly. He looked over at her, face already blotchy and wet with the crying she's done when this all started. Seeing her now, looking at him with fear in her eyes made him feel less of himself and even more shitty with his circumstance. He doesn't have his dad.. will he lose his mom too? Just because of who he was, will he lose the only person who's loved him from the beginning?

Maybe she didn't love him at all. Maybe she saw him the same way his father did only with a softer approach. He felt himself shrink, felt himself regress. But the thought of finally standing up for himself, doing things for himself and his future under his own volition was enough of a push for him to look back to his father to challenge him.

He never was able to meet his eye when he felt a fist meet his cheek. The act was uncalled for, the force was so strong that Mingyu lost his footing and fell to the floor.

In all of his life, Mingyu was pampered and dotted on by his family. But he realized now that life was a lie. And in all of his life, he's never felt this much shame nor pain. Gathering a bit of strength, he stood up.  
With the most intense glare he could muster, he looked straight into his father's eyes.

"I hate you."

He made sure to bump into him when he walked out, grabbing his coat and keys and slammed the door shut behind him.. the faint sound of his mother's sob echoing before the slam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hated writing this. Anyone notice it's also the first time Mingyu's admitted he loved Wonwoo? 💔💔


	27. Chapter 27

The cold winter breeze was a comfort to his swelling cheek. He’s been walking aimlessly around their building for a while, not sure what to think.. where to go. He knew he should feel relieved, but everything just felt so heavy. His eyes stung but he couldn’t bring himself to cry. He had too many thoughts, too many feelings.. he needed a distraction.

And he got one when his phone lit up. It was their group’s chat room. Minghao sent an old one, the one he took in junior year. Then the messages kept flooding in after of how it felt like a lifetime ago, a couple of comments on how much or how less they’ve changed in a year and maybe jokes about growing old.

It was in Minghao’s perspective and it made his heart swell.. because the way he captured them, how he saw them was the same way Mingyu did.

He knew where to go. He needed to go home.

“Gyu?” It only took two rings for Minghao to answer.

“You guys at the ice cream place?”

“When are we ever no-“ Minghao wasn’t able to finish his sentence when he heard a couple of rustles and random voices until he heard Jeonghan’s voice.

“You better get your butt here before I leave, baby boy.”

He laughed. “Don’t call me that.” He said followed by a couple of teasing from the other line from the rest of the group calling him that nickname. Then it was a string of them asking him to hurry, to get there safe and to see him soonest.

He needed to go home.

Because the moment he stepped in to the ice cream store, he felt the instant warmth of the place despite the air-conditioning left on for a winter night. It was empty except for that one corner his group claimed as their spot. It looked bulkier than normal, what with all of them still wearing their coats. They were the only customers there but the place felt packed.

And as he made his way to them, they all slowly stood up. Some eyes wide, some worries, some sad and some comforting.

And with every single step he took, they took three and were in front of him in no time - just right when he felt to the floor.

The sting of his eyes were too much to handle, the swelling on his cheek felt heavier.

And he cried as he felt arms wrap around him - no questions. Small murmurs of comforting words flooded his ears and he couldn’t hold it all together anymore. He   
cried as they huddled around him, warmer and warmer by the second.

“We’re here.”

“We got you.”

He was home.

He cried.

And cried and cried.

“Mingyu, what happened?” He heard Jeonghan ask, not realizing it was him who was cradling him. He sobbed into his shoulder.

He was pushed back lightly so they could check on him. He felt cool hands touch his face, felt soft pats and squeezes on his arms, felt soft pats on his back. And he looked at his friends, all worried - some in pain for him, some ready to fight for him.

He felt so much warmer.

“I told my dad.. told him who I am.” He bowed his head down, suddenly remembering all that passed earlier.

“Why?”

He wasn’t sure who asked. He still felt the weight of what transpired and all the frustration, pain and sadness filling him once more.

Because his parents only loved him because he served a purpose.

Because his parents failed to realize he was just a boy.

He was just a boy growing up.

Trying to become someone he’s happy with. And they couldn’t accept that.

And they couldn’t accept that he was in love with a boy. It scared him so much.

“For.. Wonwoo.”

And then he cried. Nobody said a word after.

***

The night went on for longer. The rest of the gang made sure to keep the spirits up and light with their typical group banter . And he did feel better.

It was decided that he was going to stay with Seungcheol for the night. He was apprehensive because his dad was going into a merger with his own but he assured him it’s fine.

“My dad won’t tell. Promise. It’s none of his business.”

And so they went when the group deemed it too late.. which was a little past 1AM.

Both of them got ready for bed. Seungcheol’s bed was big enough to sleep for two but the host insisted he take the bed while he settle for an old mat beside the bed. Mingyu threatened to share the mat with him so he relented and they shared the bed.

It got quiet after a while, Mingyu assumed Seungcheol was asleep. He unwillingly replayed the events that happened earlier and he could feel the bile rise once more in his chest. But it didn’t get worse, as he felt a comforting tap on his arm from the older.

Mingyu bit his lip to stop the sobs, but he let the tears fall from the side of his face. And for a while, only his sniffles were heard in the warm room.

When he calmed down a bit, he felt Seungcheol moved closer as his side felt warmer and he was grateful.

“Mingyu?”

“Yeah?”

He didn't hear anything after that but he just waited patiently. He knew Seungcheol was probably thinking of a considerate and tactful way to phrase his question.

He really was grateful.

“Did you mean it.. when you said you did this all for Wonwoo?”

That was unexpected. But the older was probably just coming from how he answered the question earlier when someone asked why he did it. Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure who asked.

“Yes.”

“You’re that sure?”

“What do you mean?”

“That Wonwoo’s the one?”

“What made you think that?”

“Because you flipped your life 360 for him.”

“What? No I didn’t.”

“But you said you did it for Wonwoo.”

And he remembered the question, when it was asked, and how he answered. His head was flooded with everything that transpired at hom— his house and just couldn’t put everything into words. He was anchoring himself, grounding.. and it was because of Wonwoo so he was the answer that came to mind.

Mingyu let out a breath. “Part of me did.”

Silence followed. The faint ticking of a wall clock somewhere was the only sound that filled the room. It was slow, repetitive and Mingyu could feel his eyes go heavy. But not before he felt Seungcheol shuffle beside him and let out a long sigh.

“You know, I wonder if Jeonghan and Jisoo would still be together if they did what you did. Told your families before college.”

“They broke up?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Well, because Jisoo’s mom had set-up an arranged marriage for him.”

“This early? And he didn’t say no?”

“You know how theses things work. It’s not really that far-off from the dramas. And his mom can be very persuasive. But it all boils down to the fact that Jisoo loves his   
mom so much and he only has her in his life. He loves her so much..”

“Much more than he loves Jeonghan.” Mingyu continued.

“Yeah. And.. Jisoo doesn’t know this but, Jeonghan came out to his family.”

“How’d that go?”

“Not pretty.”

“But he’s okay now?”

“I don’t know. But if anything, it’s a good thing that Jeonghan did everything his family asked for now. His studies, the university he’s going to. Basically he took the path his family set out for him that they couldn’t really disown him that easy. They think it’s just a glitch in the system. Who he is, they think it’s a flaw.” He heard Seungcheol scoff and he could envision the older fisting the sheets in anger.

Silence. There was an ugly feeling starting to crawl in his chest as he thought about Jeonghan and what he went through and is going through. And it started to scare him.

“How’d your mom take it?” Seungcheol suddenly asked. 

“She cried.”

“Didn’t say anything.”

“Her eyes did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was.. liberating. Freeing.”

“You’re not scared of what’s gonna happen after? What’s in store for you and Wonwoo?”

He was. If he were to be frank, it scared the crap out of him. He doesn’t know what could happen. They only had a couple of months left before they begin a new chapter in their lives. He had a month before results come out whether he got accepted to the universities he’s applied for. He realized it late.. but it felt like they were running out of time.

“Tomorrow will come. But for now, we have today.”

Seungcheol hummed in agreement and bid him good night. He could hear him smile.

But he said that more for himself to convince him that things were going to be okay. Because he realized just now how much he’s put at risk. And maybe, the fact that Jeonghan’s went through what he’s going through and it did not have a happy ending..

He didn’t fall asleep that night.

***

Mingyu had to go home. It was a Saturday. He knew his parents would be out with their business friends making sure that the relationship, the connection stays strong. So he felt confident about not running into either of his parents that day.

It was a little past noon and the apartment was quiet.

The first thing that he did was head into the kitchen to cook something in a huge batch so he wouldn’t need to come out of his room later that night and maybe even the next day.

He was done and he set the food aside to cool while he cleaned up. He could have used the dishwasher but he needed to de-stress. And washing dishes always helped. 

He focused on the feel of water on his hands and the continuous flow of the water from the faucet. He was so focused he didn’t hear a door open and footsteps approach.

“This will last you ’til tomorrow lunch, I figure.”

He dearly dropped the bowl he was washing but didn’t turn around. He heard movement and before he knew it, his mom was beside him, leaning against the counter near the sink.

“Where’d you go last night?”

“The ice cream shop.”

“And spent the night where?”

“At Seungcheol’s.”

“Choi Seungcheol? You’re dad’s working on a merger with their family, you know. It’s his next project.”

Mingyu did’t say anything. He just continued washing the dishes and finished them not soon after. He hid wiped down the dishes and replaced them in the cabinets, all the while moving around his mom who stayed where she was, watching him. When he was down to his last mug, his mom stopped him and grabbed a mug of her own before pulling him toward the kitchen counter to sit.

She prepared tea and let it seep into the water before she looked up at him.

“It’s that boy, isn’t it? The one you went to when we got back from the summer.”

He couldn’t bring himself to look up at his mom so he just nodded. She sighed, heavily - and Wonwoo didn’t know if he wanted to scoff or cry. He stayed quiet.

“Why, son?”

“What do you mean why?” Mingyu tried to mask the irritation in his voice but it was bubbling up so much since he heard his mom approach him that it was hard not to.

“You.. liking a boy. Now. Why?”

“You say that as if I did it on purpose. You cant’ help how you feel, mom.”

“Okay, but really now? When you have a future ahead of you? You’re throwing it away?”

“I’m not throwing anything away! I’m doing things for me. A future by me, for me. Not by you, for you.”

“A future planned by your parents isn’t that bad, Mingyu. Look where we are now.”

“But I don’t want this.”

“Well, what do you want?”

And Mingyu froze. Because.. he really wasn’t sure at that moment. After everything that happened. Even.. even Wonwoo, he wasn’t sure anymore. He thought back to the conversation he had last night with Seungcheol about Jeonghan. How he came out, but things wouldn’t really change for him because he was following his family’s plans for him. He didn’t. And he was honestly scared.

“There’s a time and place for everything, Mingyu. I just hoped you knew that before you did what you did.” He heard his mom say - not harshly but softly and he could feel the lump on his throat grow.

She stood up, leaving the tea untouched on the kitchen counter. His own cup going cold after just a couple of sips.

“Do you hate me?”

His mom froze, still turned away as she was making her way back to their room. He saw how her shoulder went up, and fell a couple of seconds later. He bowed his head once more, willing himself not to cry there.

Then he felt hands cup his cheek and raise his head up. He met the eyes of his mom, shining eyes with brimming tears.

“I don’t. I never will. But there are only a few things I can do for you now.”

He turned his head and kissed her palm and he saw the tears fall on his mother’s cheeks.

“There’s a time and place for everything. There always is.”

And with that, she left him standing on the cold kitchen foam. The last of the steam from their tea running out.

***

The resumption of classes was something he’s been dreading. But now that the day was upon him, he was excited. Because it may be the end, but it could also be the beginning. The cold winter chill still made puffs of hot air manifest every time he breathed through his scarf as he stood and waited for Wonwoo to pick him up.  
He hadn’t seen him since that night. Not even yesterday’s send-off. Probably because his family had a send-off of their own. Seulgi invited him but he wanted to join and check-up on Jeonghan after hearing the news from Seungcheol.

He was sad if you looked closely. And with how Jeonghan looked at him before he got into his car, he knew Mingyu had an idea what happened to him. And the long drive Jeonghan had back to campus, Mingyu was on the phone just letting him talk about everything else except what ended - trying his best not to cry.

He was excited to see Wonwoo, or rather.. maybe desperate. Because there was something missing since that night, he felt antsy. And when he saw the car pull-in to the driveway, with the passenger seat’s window rolled down for him to see the smiling face of Wonwoo, he knew what was missing.

They drove to school, a little slow because it was way too early for a Monday to head to school - with traffic only starting to build-up halfway through the drive. A song was playing on the radio, relatively muted as Wonwoo talked about how he spent the day before with his family.

“And then Seulgi had the g—“

“Wonwoo, I miss you.”

His hyung went quiet but when he turned to face him, he was smiling though eyes set firmly on the road. He looked down just in time to see Wonwoo hold out his hand. Mingyu took it and Wonwoo intertwined their fingers and placed them on top of the gear stick to continue to drive.

Once they were parked, Wonwoo immediately unbuckled his seatbelt, and then Mingyu’s and hugged him.

“Don’t pull something like that when I’m driving. The road was slippery.”

“Huh?”

Wonwoo looked around the parking lot and when the coast was clear, he leaned in and kissed him.

“It was only a weekend, but I miss you too. I always do.”

“Yeah?”

A peck on the lips.

“Yeah.”

And at that moment, Mingyu felt like things were going to be okay as the windows started to fog as they kissed.


	28. Chapter 28

The changes in his life, he was expecting to happen not so soon. Yes, it’s been a month since the whole dad fiasco. Yes, life has gone on and senior year, as expected has been a big pain in the ass. Yes, they are nearing the end of it.

And he was expecting the changes to happen by then.

Not so soon.

But he really should have been prepared. Because the results of the college applications were usually sent out within two months after the start of the semester. And he got his, from the university he really wanted to go to. Film school.

And he didn’t get in.

And the university abroad that Wonwoo applied to as well.. He never heard from them. And it’s been a week since the promised release of the results. Wonwoo got the call. He got in.

He didn’t get the call. He didn’t.

And suddenly, life was moving too fast.

And they were nearing the first half of the first term.

Which means it was almost over.

His life was over.

And he didn’t know what to do.

**

Soonyoung had this ridiculous idea of celebrating the first half of their term with a picnic. They had to bring in any food that they made on their own and share it after class when they hang-out by their spot at the bleachers.

He was running late, he had to finish up on a class paper that was to be submitted by the end of day. He didn’t finish it last night, because he just started. And it had a huge percentage on their final grade.

His grades were slipping. And Mingyu couldn’t really bring himself to care. He wasn’t accepted in any college any way. There was no point.

“Hey.”

He heard someone from the door. It was Chankyung. Why he was here, he didn’t know. But I guess he had a little luck left because he just got back from the teacher’s office to submit it before he left for the day.

Mingyu was sitting on his desk, just trying to release the pent-up stress caused by procrastination. The year just needed to end already.

Chankyung approached him and leaned against the desk in front of him. It was déjà vu. They were in this very set-up when the guy in front of him provoked him about Wonwoo. But this time, the atmosphere felt solemn. Apologetic.

“You okay?”

“Uh, why the sudden concern.”

“Because I saw you before the start of school.. at the ice cream place. I saw your face.”

“Oh. I’m fine.”

“What happened?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I told my parents. Now you don’t have any advantage over me.” He said irritably as he stood up. He gathered up his things. He’s not about to have this conversation with this ass who’s been nothing but a pain to him ever since he moved to the city.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why’d you do it?”

“What, you think I did it to one and up you? You’re pretty narcissistic. But I’m not really surprised. I did it for me. Because I’m done not living my own life. Never realized I wasn’t living for me for the longest time.”

“I’m sorry.” Mingyu froze and looked at him. Shock was evident on his face. And then… rage.

“I don’t need your pity.”

“I’m not pitying you.” Chankyung said weakly. He did look apologetic. He didn’t know why but he hated it.

“Then why the hell are you sorry? What for?”

“Because you had to go through it.”

“That sounds like pity to me.” He said with finality as he made his way out of the room.

“Did you do it for Wonwoo?”

He froze. What kind of a question is that? But then again.. ever since that day, that night -even after the conversation he’s had with Seungcheol, he kept asking himself if he did do it for Wonwoo. And then he thought back to that conversation he had with Jeonghan when he made the drive back. How much.. he regretted a lot of decisions back in high school. But he was fortunate enough for his fate not to take a bad turn. Because he could live a life after losing the love of his life.  
But that wasn’t the case for Mingyu. It wasn’t playing out well. His life was over. But.. at least he had Wonwoo. Right?

So in that instance, even though he did it for himself - he couldn’t take the weight of it all.

“Yes. It was all for Wonwoo.”

He needed someone to bear it for him too.

“Mingyu..”

Wonwoo.

"How long have you been standing there?" He asked and he didn't answer. His face was just full of concern, worry and.. that wasn't pity was it?

Mingyu looked back at Changkyun who did look apologetic this time.

“You told him?”

“I did.”

“When it wasn’t your story to tell? Who the hell do you think you are?”

Mingyu’s vision slowly turned red and he dropped his bag ready to tackle Chankyung. But he felt arms wrap around him. He could hear Wonwoo talk to him but didn’t understand what he was saying. But slowly, he did. And he saw Chankyung leave the room. And he was sitting on the floor, back against the wall.

And he saw Wonwoo in front of him. Eyes red, trying to stop himself from crying.

Mingyu really didn’t want him to know.

“What happened, Mingyu?”

He felt a hand cup his cheek and stroke it gently and everything came pouring down.

All the stress, the anxiety.

The reality he was living in.

It became too much, the damn was too full and he cried.

Wonwoo held him and let him cry.

“I told my parents I wanted to go to film school. Then they started talking about how ungrateful I was. And then they started talking about setting me up with someone. And then I told them I had someone special. And they figured it was a boy.”

And then he cried further.

“What do I do, Wonwoo? What happens now? What do we do?”

And he cried some more. Too caught up in his misery, he failed to notice Wonwoo stiffen.

If he noticed, he would have seen the sudden fear flood his hyung’s face as he held him while he cried.

And maybe that was good for now that he didn't see. Because he had too much to worry about. It was too much for the day.

But it was something to be worried about.

**

He went home that night to find his mother waiting for him in the kitchen. She was sitting with a cup of tea in front of her. There was another cup set out across from her with an unsealed envelope.

Mingyu and his mom, they were able to come to an unspoken agreement to live as if nothing happened. He would rather the opposite but he hated to admit that this helped as it brought him a sense of normalcy. In a way, it kept him grounded as his world shattered around him.

And it shattered even more when he saw the envelope and where it came from.

“I’m sorry.”

So now his mom knew that he had nowhere to go.

The rejection letter from film school was now crumpled in his hands.

“Mingyu.. what are you going to do? Your father’s going to find out.”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you need help. Just tell me, son. I’ll help.”

His heart started to race, his chest tightened. It was stifling but he tried not to show it. He was anxious once more, panicking. Because he needed help. He didn’t know what to do, because his life was over.

And looking at his mom, he started to feel something he didn’t want to feel. He didn’t want to admit to feeling.

He felt regret. A ton load of regret crushed him all in one go.

And he was so sorry. So sorry to himself. Because he didn’t know what to do for himself. He did this for him and now he was taking it back because he couldn’t take care of himself. Because he knew he wouldn’t be able to survive this on his own. He was just 18 and he was a coward. And he was so sorry he couldn’t stand his ground.

He didn’t even realize that he nodded. And his mother was now beside him, cradling him in her arms.

“I’ll see what I can do. But if I can’t.. If what I can do for you is not enough, we’d have to tell your father. And.. and you know it’s not going to be easy for you.”

She caressed his hair and shushed him with her sorry’s.

“There’s a time and place for everything, Mingyu. I'm so sorry.”

And he hated that she was right.

Because he was only 18 and it wasn’t the time.

And he hated that time wasn’t on his side the very first time he chose himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hugs, everyone. 😣


	29. Chapter 29

Things were starting to look up for Mingyu. Sort of.

His mom did help, and she made it look in a way wherein Mingyu wasn’t involved. He was grateful.

But the condition was that he needed to bring his grades up because that was the only condition that the university had. And he needed to catch up to all of the times he’s been slacking off. His grades did slip, but not too far back that he couldn’t get them back by the third quarter of the semester.

That didn’t mean it wasn’t easy. He wanted to ensure his spot.. his future so he aimed for perfection.

Which meant more time allotted to studying.

Which meant less time with friends.

Which meant less time with Wonwoo.

And it really didn’t feel any different after that afternoon in the classroom.. when he found out what happened to him before the start of their last semester. Because the change from then has been consistent.

Mingyu didn’t want to think about it too much.. but as the days passed, Wonwoo felt farther and farther.

But he couldn’t justify it, couldn’t prove it any way.

Because Wonwoo would still pick him up.

He would still message and call.

He would still hang-out with him.

He would do all of these things whenever he could.

But the times he could would feel less and less. Maybe it was just him overthinking things, the paranoia. They were graduating soon and it was crunch time for them to maintain if not bring grades up or they lose their spots at the universities they chose to go to. It was really competitive, especially for Wonwoo who was the only one who got a scholarship abroad - and at a very competitive university at that.

So he understood there were less and less times that he could.. with him.

Because it seems, he’s been hanging out with Changkyun. And maybe needed his help more than him, which sucked big time.

“Hey Mingyu, are you meeting up with Wonwoo later today at free period?” Soonyoung asked as he plopped down beside him at the lunch table.

Today it was only a handful of them. Just him, Seokmin, Minghao, Jun, Vernon and Chan. There rest were either pre-occupied with boosting up with extracurriculars or just their grades.

“I was supposed to but he said he needed to study.” He shrugged and went back to eating his carrot sticks and looked back at Minghao to continue their conversation. 

But Soonyoung added to that.

“Oh yeah, I should have asked Changkyun. He was the one who asked for this anyway.” He waved the sheets of paper in his hand before placing them back in his file case.

“Changkyun?”

“Yup. He asked for my notes on advanced chemistry because Wonwoo asked him for help. Apparently he almost dropped out of his required GPA because of Ad Chem. So, I decided to be his knight and shining armor and got him my notes - well second to Changkyun I guess. I am smart you know.” He said the last line to everyone because they were all looking at him dumbfounded. And then eyes towards him, cautious.

Soonyoung never caught on because he dived straight into his lunch. The rest of them though, their eyes were on Mingyu.

He wasn’t sure how much they knew about whatever was happening between him and Wonwoo. But they did notice it in the beginning. And he just answered them haphazardly, saying it was nothing and that they were all just busy catching up.

But maybe they noticed how much alone they were than together.

Noticed the lack of loving looks, the stares, the touches.

Noticed how despite coming to school together, they left separately.

‘Yeah, he told me about that. I would have helped but I just have a lot on my plate too.” He said.. not just to Soonyoung, but to the rest of the people in the table. They all looked at him worried but accepted his answer - save for Seokmin and Minghao.

Because they both knew how Mingyu’s been distraught since the day Wonwoo found out. And he can’t find the time to fix it right now because he needed to fix his life. He had this chance to get things back on track and he needed to focus on that. If he wanted any form of future at all. And if he wanted any future that gave him a chance to be with Wonwoo still.

They knew, and they were worried.

Should he be too? Because he genuinely didn’t know about whatever was happening with Wonwoo. He had to lie to save face that things were okay and that they were just busy.

He probably should.

Because he was starting to get proof that there was distance between them.

Because the late night call turned into delayed message replies.

The delayed message replies turned into just good nights.

And then he’d find himself being driven to school by his mom on some days.

Thing were starting to look-up for Mingyu. Sort of. For an important aspect of his life.

But Wonwoo should be equally important, right?

Right.

***

Something was inevitably wrong.

Things turned from bad to worse when a week went by without them going through their usual routine. They were in the same classes, sat beside each other in some but it felt like how it was in the beginning. When they were acquaintances just part of the same group.

It was both distant and suffocating. And he just didn’t know what to do.

But it seems that when one doesn’t know what to do, or if there’s something one’s supposed to do but can’t bring themselves to do it… fate does it for them.

Which was probably why Mingyu found himself in the abandoned music room in the West Building.. the same room where they both confessed to each other on a winter night.

It was almost summer. And Wonwoo was sitting by the corner where they were that winter night.

"Hey."

"Hi."

He didn't want to think it, but something about this setting felt like something was ending. And he'd be damned if he was going to let that happen.

But he also fervently hoped that the older wanted the same thing too. There was no more running, no point avoiding this. They're already well into the last leg of their final term. Choices had to be made already.

If he were honest, he was tired. Tired of pretending that they were fine. He was fine. Because he may have his college life figured out.. but what about now? What about Wonwoo?

"You've been avoiding me.” His hyung started.

Mingyu scoffed before he replied.

“I can say the same about you. But I know when I'm not needed.”

"What are you talking about? I text you, I ask about you, for you but it's clear you don't want to be reached."

"Does it even matter? You have Changkyun around any way."

"How many times do I have to tell you Changkyun is just a friend."

“He's just a friend."

"And what am I?"

"Mingyu..."

"Answer the question, hyung."

"Why should I? It's been pretty fucking clear who - what you are to me. The question is, what am I to you?"

"How is that a question? Is it not obvious what you are to me? You know what I went through.. it was all for you."

In his head, he pictured that declaration to be romantic. An against all odds kind of statement. But at that moment, it sounded something akin to blame. And the worst part of it all was maybe Mingyu meant a little bit of it.

He looked at the older, and he was stunned. He watched as his expressions morphed from shock, to fondness, to sadness. He hated it. He looked like he pitied him.

"Mingyu.. I'm not worth it. And I hate that this happened to you."

That was not what Mingyu wanted to hear.

"But I did it for you.." And as much as he didn't mean to, he sounded a little spiteful due to how he was looking at him at that moment.

"That's the thing! You shouldn't do it for me. You should have done it for yourself!" Wonwoo's hands visibly clenched on his sides. Even from afar, you could tell he was squeezing hard with how white his knuckles were. He was angry.. and by the second, Mingyu couldn't help but feel fear starting to build.

What's going to happen now? And he couldn't help but feel his eyes go hot.

"I'm.. I'm not worth all of this Mingyu. We're just about to finish high school. Life hasn't begun and yet you're throwing everything away. I don't know what to do to help you because I know that I can't do that. We're only 18!" At this, Wonwoo finally unclenched his hands to wrap them around him. The distress was so evident, his anxiety manifesting with the way his hands shook even though he was gripping his arms so tight.

He made to move towards him, hand extended but stopped himself. He hesitated.. "We.. we can figure it out."

And he knew, they both did.. that moment of hesitation told them that they couldn't.

"So that's it?"

"Does it matter?"

And he felt anger bubble up inside of him. Does it matter? Of course it does! He was a life changer, and a life worth changing for. It wasn’t entirely for Wonwoo but it was because of hims that he stood up for himself for the first time. Didn’t he see that? That Wonwoo was the reason why he realized how much of his life hasn’t been his own and that he wanted to change that. Wonwoo was.. 

Sure they were 18, sure this was the fist time he's ever felt this way but he felt like this was it.

He was sure..

"You.. you never even said you loved me.” Wonwoo said.

And then he wasn't.

"Neither did you.” Mingyu answered back.

Because they never really did say it out loud. Mingyu didn't feel the need to. But the way Wonwoo's eyes looked hurt, shoulder slouched in defeat.. he regretted saying it. Because Wonwoo did tell him through that screenshot he sent on an October night - and he never told the older that he knew what he meant with it.

Silence. 

“You asked me before.. what if we don’t make it.” He stated, eyes hard but still full of regret.

He held his breath, trying so hard to keep the ringing in his ears at bay just so he could keep hearing his voice.. even though his words were breaking him.

No.

He moved forward, a flicker of sadness showed itself but was immediately masked by indifference.

No.

“We didn’t make it.”

There was a time and place for everything. And as Wonwoo walked past him, maybe this time wasn’t their own.

Or maybe this was the only time they had. And the time was up.


	30. Chapter 30

The days that followed were hectic. Finals were fast approaching and he needed to focus 110%. He had papers and requirements left and right. He had a ton of extra-credit to do. And he still had the remains of the terms to absorb and study for.

It was so much and he was grateful. Because he couldn’t afford to set aside any of his energy to think about Wonwoo.

He hasn’t even cried.. not a single tear since that day. His days were just too filled for any time to himself.

Mingyu was grateful. It was a hard pill to swallow, but maybe that part of his life has run its course. Wonwoo has run its course. He had to focus on what could give him a life after college. He had to focus on what he almost gave up on when he wasn’t ready to take that step.

Because thinking about it, what if he didn’t do it? What if he didn’t challenge his dad that night? Would they still be together?

Were they even really together? Or was this just a high school fling?

He didn’t have time for these thoughts because he had a life he needed to work for. He had to live it even if Wonwoo wasn’t in it anymore. 

There will be another one, right?

Yes, but not another Wonwoo. 

***

For lack of a better term, Mingyu was lucky finals was over and that the school year was ending.

For lack of a better term, he was grateful he didn't have to deal with what would probably be best termed as a break-up in the midst of hell week and face their friends together and make things awkward. But there was a divide and it was clear. Mingyu was just happy he found close and trusted friends with Seokmin and Minghao as well as Seungkwan. Hansol was an addition because it seemed like wherever Seungkwan was, Hansol would follow. Chan was the only remaining link they had to the seniors since he's Jihoon's little brother. Jun was, also rallying in between the two groups.. but he veered towards his set of friends.

So the other group was just Soonyoung and Jihoon essentially. And it was best to include Changkyun in that circle since he was defacto absorbed with all the times he hung-out with Wonwoo during the school year.

He didn't know how much Jihoon and Soonyoung knew. Jihoon probably knew to an extent and didn't pry because he was still the trusted 'mind-your-own-business" guy. Soonyoung however was not shy of showing how upset he was with Mingyu. And to further rub that in his face, he was making a public effort to act like Changkyun belonged in their circle. It didn't help either that he was a favored member by the president of the dance club

For lack of a better term, it was a good thing that Wonwoo had to leave as soon as finals were over and fly abroad and head straight into his University life. He got early acceptance and had to fly out to get settled before summer started since there were a lot of things he needed to prepare for. There was a freshman orientation he was required to attend for the ones with scholarships. There were other papers too that he needed to finalize there and some classes he needed to take to brush up on his language skills. He would be busy. He wouldn't have time to think about him.

He was really happy for Wonwoo despite everything. Because he knew how much he wanted this, worked for this. And he deserved getting it. The only bitter taste he had in his mouth was that he had a fresher start. He was in another country, he was going to meet new people, he was going to experience new things brought by the new environment. Sure he had that, but Wonwoo had it 10x better. And it would surely be easy for his Hyung to forget about him.

***

Graduation was a semi-sad affair. It was a relief they were finally done. But the reality struck that he wouldn’t be seeing his friends, some maybe not at all. They all were going to go into different universities. He was accepted at the university. And the enthusiasm his father showed was unwelcome. But Mingyu knew not to push it. His mom was a different story though, somber and a little apologetic.. All the more reason for him to be grateful towards her as they walked down the stage after receiving his diploma.

3rd in his class. He couldn’t believe he managed the feat despite all the carelessness during the last term. It doesn’t feel like he deserved it. But his mom would nudge him whenever he thought these things.

He was really grateful for his mom.

“I can’t believe we’re adults now.” Seokmin whispered as they all gathered for a class picture. 

“We aren’t adults yet. College is basically boot-camp for adulting.” Mingyu scoffed as he fixed the tassel of his graduation cap.

The longer he stood among his classmates, the more it hit him of how this chapter of his life was over. It was really sinking in now. This was over.

They were over.

“Chin up, Gyu. There’s a future still waiting for us. And that’s another life we’re about to live. We’ll leave this one behind.” Minghao spoke to his left and beneath their togas they held hands. Seokmin did the same. With every count of, and every encouragement of a smile, they squeezed their hands tighter.

They held on to their tears until they had to throw their caps in the air.. saying good bye to this time of their life.

***

A week later, Mingyu was ready to leave for uni. He cleared out his room and just left essentials. It was too sentimental to keep things as they were. It was a part of his life that he’d like to genuinely leave behind. Because this time in his life.. was when he got a taste of a reality he wanted to live - within reach and suddenly so distant.

He wasn’t planning on coming back as much any way. And as soon as Uni was over, he’d make it on his own. There was no life he could go back to. He’d take advantage of what he learned, whatever connections his name would carry and start a new life from there. Granted, there was still a tie to his father but he needed a bit of retribution with how his life turned out.

Even as early as now, all the bad things that have happened to him.. he can’t help but be bitter and pin it all against his father. So he was definitely eager to get this part of his life over with.

And who knows.. maybe he’ll get to feel the way he did with Wonwoo with someone else again.

Maybe even with Wonwoo.

But reality really did cripple his goals when he was given conditions by his father to succeed. All of which sounding pretty much like life and death conditions - either he fulfills them or his father takes away this chance. He was angry because it wasn’t his father who got him here, it was his mom.. and yet he’s acting as if he owed him the world.

The only bright light in the dark hell-hole that has become his life is the support his mom’s giving him. No matter how silent and subtle, he could feel her support. He knew that after Uni, push comes to shove his mom will push hell and high waters to support him. But only after Uni.  
There’s a time and place for everything.

His mom’s words have turned into his driving force. There’s a time and place for everything.. and when he’s at the right place at the right time, he’ll seize everything with all he’s got.


	31. Chapter 31

He really didn't mean to. It was just one of those days when an escape was in order. Business school wasn't that hard, but sometimes when you pile up all of the requirements all together and mesh the schedule of exams within the span of 72 hours, you suddenly feel like you're in a boss battle in a game. The usual forms of relief just weren't working for him. He's already gone to a couple of drinking sessions. Had random hook-ups - but never past third base - here and there. But nothing was just helping him. So on this quiet weekend inside his apartment, he just chose to chill and go online on social media.

He’s been on hiatus for quite some time now. He was still responsive on messaging platforms. But the profiles and pages were something he avoided altogether, entering his junior year of college when everything was hectic. And if he were to be honest with himself, to curb the envy of seeing his friends enjoy their college lives having pursued a study that they were really into.  
The hand he was dealt with never felt so unfair when he saw what could have been. But he really couldn't blame any one else really, right? That was his choice to be stuck in this business school only his parents wanted him to attend with a lot of freebies and.. ultimatums.

He gets a huge allowance, an apartment of his own, a car.

Freebies that felt like bribes.

He must be at the top 3 of his class, must establish friendships with the children of their current business partners and make Jung Chaeyeon his girlfriend - daughter of the 3rd biggest shareholder of their company, only next to his parents. The very same girl his dad had set him up with since high school.

Ultimatums. Sentences he must adhere to else he wants to be left with nothing and live on the streets - the threat of disownment hanging close above his head.

To avoid having to be reminded of his misfortune, he avoided social media. He ought to have gone through his profiles and filtered things to cater to things that wouldn't provoke the envy - but that would practically mean blocking everybody. Even most of his business school friends were happy with the cards they were given. The only other business friends he had that were in a relatively same predicament as him were Jungkook, Jaehyun, Yugyeom and Buhwakul - preferably Bambam if you didn't want to get punched in the throat if you pronounced his name wrong.

Seungcheol went to the same uni as him. But he was too much of a reminder of his past life that he couldn’t deal. Because well into their second year of college, Mingyu still hasn’t moved on. They would hang-out from time to time and knew well enough not to talk about home. Then they eventually ran out of things to talk about. Different studies, different colleges, conflicting schedules.. they stopped meeting-up and talking altogether.

It’s honestly been years since he’s talked to the whole group save for Seokmin and Minghao who would message here and there. It would last for hours but never in such a frequency. Whenever they find themselves back for the holidays, Mingyu would only ever meet up with them. Chan on certain instances, even Seungkwan and Hansol. But the latter two preferred to spend time on their own being a long-distance couple with Hansol going to Uni back in the States.

And part of him, though happy for the two, felt bitter seeing how Seungkwan and Hansol made it work. But they had a different situation than he and Wonwoo did. It was pointless to compare. Still, it stung.

Chaeyeon, who was his girlfriend was only really a girlfriend for show. She was in the same situation as him, being put into a position where they had to be in a “relationship” to keep whatever lifestyle she had. Chaeyeon was a nice girl and any one would be luck to have her. And somebody already did before he came along and they both agreed to just fake date to make their parents happy. It helped them too, having a support system apart from their other friends who helped with the ruse. Her parents were very thorough with watching over her and he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

For the preservation of his welfare, he voluntarily chose to keep his past life at bay.. at arm’s length, maybe even further. That’s why he’s made particular effort to avoid social media. His college friends knew where he was almost 24/7 so he rarely felt the need to use his phone. It also helped him focus on achieving the demands of his father. Now if anything, the only reason he really used his phone was to talk to his mom. The only one who kept him sane all throughout of this.

Having browsed for too long without having his usual triggers of jealousy, he felt like it was safe to lurk so much more on social media. His feed started feeling like an escape and he was swiping more and more through it. At this point, he was seeing posts of distant friends who he hasn't interacted that much in the past year. The algorithm basically told him nothing much was going on with his close friend so he wasn't threatened any more to keep scrolling. He felt like he was already having fun being on social media.

Mingyu really didn't mean to see it. His distant cousin, Eunwoo posted a couple of pictures of his university life. The location tag looked familiar and he realized it was a university abroad.. the very same one that..

He couldn't even finish that thought. He felt hypnotized as he re-read the location tag of the University and opened the album that was just updated with newly uploaded photos.

"University of F.U.N"

Eunwoo was very diligent with his uploads - making sure to caption each and every photo he uploads with either general commentary or the background story of the photo.

Mingyu couldn't stop scrolling through, unknowingly looking for something, someone rather among his pool of photos. He hopes by sheer coincidence and the fact that they were both studying abroad would heighten the chance of him being part of Eunwoo's fun university life. And the gnawing curiosity he had about him would be satisfied. The temptation was too hard to control even though he knew he would regret it. Maybe he won’t?

And he saw it.

A picture with a pretty lengthy caption.

"Almost three years of being friends - okay a year of - and I only got a photo of you today with you actually posing for the camera. Good thing Daniel hyung was able to convince you to smile. And you should!"

And in the photo were three people.

Eunwoo holding up the camera for the selfie.

This Daniel hyung smiling obnoxiously holding up finger-hearts leaning a little bit too close for comfort on Wonwoo.

Wonwoo.

Who posed for the camera with a peace sign.

Who was smiling with his nose scrunched - an old time favorite of his.

And just like that, something flipped and he found himself scouting more through the posts of his cousins. He should stop but he couldn’t.  
He missed Wonwoo so much. And if this was the most he could get to satiate that want of him, all reservations he’s held-on to for years now just flew out the window. Just one taste.. not even the taste he realized he’s craving but something akin to it was just to addicting to let go. But he should have realized sooner why his reservations were set in place in the first place. 

To avoid bitterness.

To avoid heartache.

But Mingyu couldn’t stop. Further into the album he could see more photos that had Wonwoo in the background or part of a group photo. And he was always beside this Daniel.

And one particular photo made him freeze altogether.

This Daniel in the middle of a playing field with Wonwoo on his back, giving him a piggyback ride and laughing.

Mingyu always knew that Wonwoo had better chances of moving on. But.. it hurt.

And seeing how real that was, he was done hurting. The last draw.

He can’t wait for things to be better.

Their time was over. There was no place for them in this life.

It was high time he accepted it with a bitter taste in his mouth. But not before he let loose all of the years of missing and wanting Wonwoo as he cried without restraint into his pillow.. the only thing that genuinely knew of his pain all these years.

It's been 3 years since he's last seen Wonwoo and he was still so in love with him.


	32. Chapter 32

Mingyu stepped out of the funeral wing of the hospital. He found himself whipping out a flask he had hidden as people bowed to greet him on the way out. His father was a known donor of this hospital and Mingyu was the face of the donation. They even had a wing named after them which was where more of the modern facilities were found to cater to the more VIP patients of the hospital - which were, of course their prime business partners.

He took a really long swig and sighed. Unlike in the past, his swigs are now neat without any drips falling on the side of his mouth. He’s been drinking for far too long now to not be clumsy about it. The flask was practically half-empty when he stepped out of the hospital. Taking secret swigs all throughout the service, Mingyu couldn’t believe he was still sober.

His mother was really the reason why he was drinking.. it stressed him out how much she was devastated. Well, she really did love his father despite him being an asshole. Sometimes, love just doesn’t make sense. But you just understand it to an extent to allow yourself to sympathize. And he did for his mom. But there was not much feeling there for Mingyu. If anything, he mourned the father that he used to know.. the one who taught the basics of certain sports like golf - which he hated but was grateful now that he played it so much due to work. The father who helped him look for comic books and action figures when he was younger. The dad he used to be before he turned into the reason why Mingyu just became bitter all throughout a quarter of his current lifetime.

His father was dead. A heart attack in the middle of a flight back from a business trip. He was pronounced dead upon landing and his mom rushed immediately to the hospital.

Mingyu on the other hand, was stuck in emergency meetings left and right and it was established that he was to succeed his father. Immediately after college, he started working for the company - in the finance department specifically and worked his way up. His name only allowed him a bit of leverage since his dad set-up the whole thing for him to make a name for himself within the office walls.

Business school did not disappoint. He helped improve the internal financial rotation of the company given his cost-cutting analysis that did not compromise the current stature of the ways of working of the company. This has helped boost morale for the company when they manifested in the bonuses they received every quarter. But that was only part of it. The investments he was able to rack-in thanks to his friends from college who in turn went into their respective families’ business boosted the company’s financials worth more than the last 5 years - and Mingyu made it happen in just 2.

He was respected without the influence of his name not his father and he was starting to feel like he was getting his life back together. He’s even become one of the higher-ups and key officers of the financial department and was a viable candidate to succeed the company even if he wasn’t the heir.

So it was no struggle for the board of directors to decide on him being the new CEO of the company. They knew his plans for the year which he presented during the first quarter and knew the company was in good, maybe bette hands following his father’s passing.

He took it the position humbly because he knew he deserved it.

So now, just shy of his third year in the company, he was officially the new CEO of Kim Holdings Incorporated.

And finally.. he was free.

***  
A year after being the CEO, he’s finally found the time to just relax. His hands were full the first year when his mom decided to give him half of her shares. She mentioned retiring from actually working for the company but would still like to tend to, if not oversee the external activities of the company focused on charities and scholarships. He was happy to oblige and would even demand that she not book charity galas every month, but stick to small scale efforts such as donations to homes for the elderly and orphanages.

He’s also been single, having called off his relationship with long-standing “girlfriend” Chaeyeon as soon as news of his father’s death was announce. But he ensured that she wouldn’t suffer any repercussions from it and offered her a job working side-by-side with his mother. It wasn’t really that difficult for her to lose the support of her parents especially since she was an established socialite and had already made a name for herself with her blossoming cosmetic company.

Things were finally going good for him and he can’t help but feel that this was his time. He felt content.. but still, there was something missing. Officially single once more, he’s been getting offers of set-ups and blind dates here and there from his mom’s friends but he would decline them all with a smile. He’d tell them he didn’t like women yet it still did not stop the onslaught of offers, finding it weirdly ironic that they had more male offers for him. Still, he declined.

He still had a lot of things to work on since it’s only been a year he’s been leading the company. Despite the overall good performance, maintaining a top position among their companies per quarter and a 95% employee satisfaction rate, there was still more he could do.

For his first year, he wanted to celebrate by visiting one of his what-ifs in the past.

He was scheduled to meet with the film department of the university he wanted to go to. His mom set it up for him actually. She had a current campaign of helping out the Arts & Humanities program in the city and she did it by making donations to various educational institutions that catered to this. Normally it was her the oversaw the hand-overs and/or attended the ceremony but she found herself “packed” with organizing dilemmas for an upcoming gala which has already been signed-off as completed.

It was bittersweet, really. Now that he thinks about it, he’s never set foot in the building but it felt oddly comforting. He wasn’t bitter about this part of his life anymore. Because thinking about it now, he could still pursue this unfulfilled aspect of his life, going into film. He still had all of his old work and would dabble into film making from time to time, but simply as a hobby. A conversation with the head of the department told him that they were planning a certification program for film making. It was actually made possible by the donation and he was offered it for free.   
He declined politely and said that if he were to take the program, he’d like to pay for it.

Mingyu was just walking around the halls, realizing how much the donation his mom has set-up could help.. what with the growing outdated equipment they had and how they manifested in some of the rooms.

It was good thing this was just a hand-over so he dressed a little casually and wore a cap and a mask, blending in among the students walking the hall. He reached the entrance to a small auditorium where a poster was perched up. There was a talk by the looks of it and Mingyu read the title:

_The Cinematography in Litterature._

It was a free lecture and Mingyu found himself interested in the topic.

He snuck in and was nearing the talk of the first lecturer. He had his back to the audience, looking at a painted piece.

“Now this is what the author has envisioned based on the description of this scene. There was a particular interest in the varying colors of the greens against the bright yellow rays of the sun. And this is what it looked like in the movie.”

The lecture played a scene in the movie and could see what he was talking about in relation to the emphasis of colors.

“Can anybody tell me, even without reading the book or thinking back to what happened after this scene what this meant?”

A chatter started buzzing among the crowd as the discussed among themselves. Mingyu found himself unconsciously raising his hand. Even though he was at the farthest end of the auditorium, the lecturer still saw him and pointed at him.

“Sorry, sir. You might need to shout your answer.. unless you want to come closer.”

Mingyu chuckled and decided to come closer. He started saying his answer while walking, pulling his mask down to talk.

“The way the greens were emphasized were from light to dark. But when shone with the yellow rays of light - which mostly hit the darker greens made them look brighter. For me, that means that the good times are coming. That the worst times, in this case symbolized by the darker greens, can turn into something good if not better when shown in a different perspective - in this case, the yellow rays of the sun. And the fact that they’re already shining on the greens means the good times are here.”

There was a round of applause before he chose to seat himself in one of the seats near the stage. He has a shy smile on his face as he looked up at the stag before putting his mask back on.

“Well, I guess you guys don’t need me anymore for this lecture. Which is very timely as I only have a couple of minutes left to close this off. But yes, what the gentleman said was correct. The way this scene played out was exactly how he described it.. that the good times are coming or is already here. The lines that followed this scene were as follows.

_The light that bounced off the green leaved reached and warmed her cheeks. In the distance, she could hear the tired neighs of horses. And as the rays of the sun shone through the thinning grey clouds, she could practically her love whisper her name as the carriage came into view from a distance._

I end this with that passage to remind everyone that there are reasons why stories like these are written, and scenes like those are painted. Because they happen. And no matter how dark the green, with the right yellow light, it becomes brighter. Once again, I’m Dr. Jeon Wonwoo. Thank you for attending my talk.”


	33. Chapter 33

_Dr. Jeon Wonwoo_

Wonwoo.

How could he have not realized it was him? Granted, he was far away before. But as he approached his eyes were focused on the scene that was flashed on the screen.. and Wonwoo was flashed with too much light for him to really make out his features. His voice got lower too.

But he should have..

But it's been years..

And the moment he introduced himself once more, Mingyu had to control himself to keep from yelling in surprise.

He didn't wait for the lights to turn on before he bolted out of the auditorium. Rushing through the crowd that made their way out, he held his breath that when he reached the parking lot in lightning speed, he was out of it. Not risking to be seen, he immediately got it and turned the engine on.. but the car was still set to park.

Mingyu didn't know how much he counted before he calmed down. By the time he came to, he pressed his head on the steering wheel over his two hands. Eyes closed and focus centered on the weird feeling on his left hand. Heavy and warm, he turned his head towards it and eyed the red-string bracelet Wonwoo gave him years ago.

_I read that the red string bracelet has different meanings in different cultures. But it's always referred to something good. Luck, Support, Protection, Redemption and Connection.._

Connection.

_While making this, I thought about wishing you support on whoever you want to be. Bringing you luck as you try to achieve that. And.._

And?

_..and to let you know that I'm here.. just to remind you that you have me._

He didn't even realize it, but tears started falling down his cheeks as he thought about that one winter night at the park.. just days after they confessed that they liked each other. The years he's spent making a name for himself, rebuilding the company his father left were enough of a distraction for Wonwoo to totally slip his mind altogether. No thoughts, no feelings. Forgotten.

Or so he thought. Because the moment he saw him, his heart skipped a beat.

And he swore that skip sounded like his name.. Wonwoo.

All those years.. not remembering, but not forgetting either.

The longing.. came crashing down like an avalanche and Mingyu wailed as the tears he's held back for years just came flooding and he let it.  
Because.. because he needed to make room for that something good bubbling up inside him.

_..no matter how dark the green, with the right yellow light, it becomes brighter._

As if on cue, he saw Wonwoo walk into the parking lot with his briefcase, phone to his ear while making his way to the car parked just in front of him. And he couldn't believe he didn't notice that.. it was the same car from high school. It looked a little shabby, with the paint looking years old as expected and a couple of scratches here and there. But it was still the same car where they had their first kiss.

Mingyu hunched down, making sure that he can't be seen even though his windows were tinted and just watched. He felt the sudden surge to just walk up to him, but was rooted in his seat. It felt weird watching him, creepy even. 

He looked taller and leaner.. not as lanky as he was before. His hair was longer too and this suited him better.

But he still looked like the boy he fell in love with years ago.

Once he was done talking on the phone, Wonwoo got in his car and just moments later - drove out of the parking lot. Mingyu found himself counting until he calmed himself before he set his car to drive.

He needed answers.

***

He walked in the building without much restraint until he reached his floor and was blocked by his secretary.

"Mr. Kim, I'm sorry Mr. Ch-"

But she wasn't able to finish when he strode in to his office.

Seungcheol was seated behind his desk, lips stuck on the neck of Kyung Mi - his ex's best friend and Seungcheol's long-standing girlfriend.

"Mingyu!" She squeled and wiggled out of Seungcheol's arms to run to him and give him a hug. He chuckled and hugged her back.

"Bad time?"

"No!"

"Yes!" But one glare from her had Seungcheol saying the same thing.

Kyung Mi was only as tall as his shoulder, but was a force to be reckoned with. He was of course the key factor in introducing the two lovebirds, but they didn't need much intervention. They practically fell in love at first giggle. She was the main reason he was able to reconnect with Seungcheol along with some of their other friends and have maybe even rekindled the friendships with some. Apart from being a business partner, Seungcheol was one of his closest and trusted friends aside from Seokmin, Minghao and Seungkwan. Jeonghan too was part of the list of people Kyung Mi has helped him reconnect with, Joshua in tow as they made peace with their situation. Joshua was married now, as per the wish of his family. But I think they he and his wife had a weird arrangement that made it possible for Jeonghan and Joshua to reconnect to an extent.

She led him to one of the couches and poured him some tea. Seungcheol moved up from his chair afte having.. calmed himself and sat in the couch across the two. 

"What's up, sugar plum?" She probed as she offered him the poured cup.

"How many time do I have to tell you to stop with those pet names? It makes you sound like you have wrinkles." He teased.

"Lucky for you, my best friend who's your ex owns a cosmetic company." She hummed in response and crossed her arms in front of her, daring.

He just shook his head and eyed Seungcheol - but he was looking at Kyung Mi. Whipped.

He took his time with his tea and Kyung Mi immediately knew that this was serious. All of a sudden, she sat-up straighter but put both hand on either side of her - telling him that she was there to listen. Seungcheol too leaned forward, elbows perched on his thigh to support his hands cradling his face.

"I saw Wonwoo."

And then he continued on.. talking about how he felt that moment, what it did to him. Then the past, all those years.

He let it all out, the damn was broken. And by the end of it, he was crouched down and leaning on Kyung Mi who had her arms wrapped around him, rubbing his back to calm him down.

"What do you want to do now, Gyu?" Seungcheol asked. He already had his phone out, ready to call who he needed to call. Probably Jihoon who he's still close with and maybe Wonwoo's best friend still.

He didn't know what to do.

Because after the longing, the pining. Despite the way his heart still skipped a bet whenever he thought about him.. there was bitterness. He remembered how he moved on with that Daniel guy from Eunwoo's post years ago. And he knew Wonwoo was the sticking kind.. despite not sticking with him. But that was another time and place. Where he was back in college was good so he was pretty confident that Wonwoo was happy and maybe with that Daniel guy.

As if sensing how much he was overthinking, Kyung Mi placed a hand on his shoulder to bring him back.

“You don’t have to answer that now Mingyu. If anything, you should think about what you want before doing anything about it. Don’t rush it. You just saw him today, there’s no need to make a decision now especially all those years you went through. You have time now. Take it.”

And she placed a kiss on his cheek and he nodded at her. Thanking her, he smiled before standing up and leaving the two love birds to go back to whatever it was they were doing.

He needed to think.

***

It has been a a week since that incident and Mingyu really did take his time to think about it. He even talked to his mom about it. And his mom, with a gentle smile patted his cheek and only said one thing after everything he told her.

“There’s a time and place for everything, son.”

And Mingyu felt his heart swell. Was this what his mom was telling him all this time? That she was never really against who he was? She knew exactly what he was thinking and responded with a sad smile.

“I’m sorry. All those years ago, I know I should have fought for you. There’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have let you go through that just because I believe there was a time and place for everything. But I hope you understand, Mingyu. I really thought if you just went with all of it, you could have lived the life you wanted back then. With your friends, even with Wonwoo. I would have supported you. But it was easy for your father to rip your life from you and I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to fight him. Because even though we had a different way of going about it, we both just wanted what’s best for you.”

He engulfed his mom in an embrace. Thinking back to all the times she’s helped him in secret, all the times she’s made his life outside of uni a little easier just by being there and supporting him - even paying for that one summer class on filming and cinematography when his dad was stuck abroad for the whole of it, he knew she did all she could.

There’s a time and place for everything.

He was in a place in his life where he’s grown from the struggles he’s gone through. He’s not bitter anymore. He was free.

And just in time, he saw Wonwoo again after all those years without actively seeking him out.

This.. this could be a chance. The coincidences were too much for it not to be?

But was he ready to claim it?

A week and a day, he’s finally decided. He called Seungcheol and asked him if he could ask Jihoon where he could find Wonwoo. They both knew that if he was the one who asked, out of nowhere, there was a 90% chance Jihoo would not deign to answer.

That’s why it was Seungcheol who asked. And Jihoon did answer him.

But the answer wasn’t something he was expecting. Because he thought they had time now. But Jihoon said that Wonwoo flew back out of the country because he was now a professor at his old University. He was just here for the talk and stayed a while because Seulgi recently got engaged.

It was too late

He needed to breathe.

***

The day went on for longer as time seemed to slow. By 3PM, Mingyu couldn’t focus. He called for his secretary and asked her to cancel any appointments he had the rest of the day and told him that he could call it a day early. He left the building shortly after. With no particular destination in mind, he just drove around.

He kept thinking back to that faithful day - a week and a half ago and felt regret rise up his chest. But he quelled it immediately. Mingyu knew that if he did go to him that day without sorting himself out, things would end up in a way he would regret even more. It wasn’t fair for either of them.

Without realizing it, he found himself in the parking lot of his old high school. He was greeted by the staff since he was a known alumni for making yearly donations to them as well as funding improvements with the infrastructure.

Just last month, he provided the initial funding for the West Building.

He saved this for last because it was the West Building.. where the old abandoned music room was housed. Granted the last memory he had there was bitter, but the first memory he had overcame that. And he couldn’t help but hold it to high sentimental value.

When he walked towards it, he could already see the provisional set-up for renovation. Scaffolding materials have been delivered and looked ready to be set-up. Stacks of sand and concrete powder were lined neatly in front.

Mingyu couldn’t help but think that despite his misfortune missing out on Wonwoo, he was lucky enough with the timing to revisit this place one last time before it changed forever.

The sun was preparing to set as yellow rays filtered in from the empty rooms to the hallways. In the distance, he could hear the distant school noises as classes were just ending.

He knew this place by heart, knowing he could walk through it in the dead of night and still find his destination. And with his eyes closed, he found himself in front of the sliding door.

Maybe going to the abandoned music room for the last time could give him a sense of closure. Accepting that maybe they just weren’t meant to be. He slid it open.

“Mingyu?”

He held his breath as he slowly opened his eyes. Sitting on top of the low shelves pushed by the window, sitting against the light.. he was there.

“Wonwoo.”

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

And he was brought back to the last time they were both in this room. By the looks of it, the other was too. And they shared a sad smile.  
Mingyu took slow steps towards him and just stood a couple of feet away from where he sat. He looked out of the window where they had a view of the auditorium - some students scattered here and there what with classes being done for the day.

“I thought you left.”

“How’d you know?”

“Asked Jihoon.. well, Seungcheol did.”

“Yeah. I was supposed to.”

“Cancelled flight?”

“No. Didn’t want to leave just yet.”

And then they were quiet. The sun was slowly starting to set.

“Did you know they were planning to renovate this building?”

“I did, I funded it.”

“Well look at you Mr. CEO / dedicated alumni.” Wonwoo teased and laughed. Mingyu found himself shaking his head in response, a smirk plastered on his face.

When he calmed down, Wonwoo looked around the room and stopped at the particular spot they both knew.

“I’m glad I got to see it one last time before it changes into something else.”

And they just both stared at that particular spot for a long time. The spot where they both confessed on a cold winter night. Mingyu’s heart, which has been beating so fast since Wonwoo called out his name just now started to calm.

He looked over to him and he looked back.

“Are you happy, Mingyu?”

“I’m content. You, hyung?”

“I’m okay.”

A myriad of questions started flooding his head. There was so much he wanted to ask, to say - but he didn’t know where to begin. Should he bring up the past? Settle things? Get closure? Or..

Time passed just like that, with them quiet but eyes locked on each other. But it got too much at some point when he felt a lump grow in his throat. Before he could look away, Wonwoo did first with a sigh, head down as he moved to stand from the shelf. He was about to leave, Mingyu could tell.

Before he could think, Mingyu grabbed his hand by the wrist. And when he felt his breath hitch when he felt it. Looking down, he could see it.. the bracelet he gave all those years ago peeking out of his sleeve. Following his line of sight, Wonwoo’s eyes went wide and he made to grab Mingyu’s hand but stopped himself. His sleeves were rolled up but he kept his hands in his pocket so he didn’t see the red bracelet that he got from his hyung.

And when they both looked up from their hands, they didn’t realize they were both crying.

“I’m sorry.” Wonwoo started.

“I knew you were lost. We were young and the future was waiting for us right around the corner. You were lost and I walked. I should have stayed, told you that I’d get lost with you.”

“No, Wonwoo. I guess, it was better that way because.. well, eventually we found ourselves back here. You were right, we were young. We couldn’t hold a candle to the challenges of reality.”

Mingyu said and without even thinking, he reached up to wipe the tears from his eyes. Wonwoo pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and proceeded to wipe his face, and then Mingyu’s hand. And then Mingyu’s face. He smiled.

“Do you remember the last time we were here?” His hyung asked. Mingyu scoffed playfully.

“How could I forget?”

The last time they were here, they ended things between them. And.. he accused him of not telling him he loved him when Mingyu himself didn’t say it either.

There were a lot of things he wanted to ask. A lot of things they wanted to say about the past. But being here at this moment.. it didn’t feel necessary. Well, maybe except for one..

_"You.. you never even said you loved me.” Wonwoo said._

_"Neither did you.” Mingyu answered back._

He saw Wonwoo play with his bracelet and he instinctively reached out to his. In hindsight, they never really needed to say it. They had all the ‘I love yous’ they could give if their time together was any indication. It wasn’t heard, but it was felt in more ways than one.

“I did say it you know. That I loved you.” Wonwoo said, as if reading his mind. 

“What? When? How?” Mingyu tilted his head to the side and Wonwoo laughed. He’s done that twice now and Mingyu couldn’t help but want to hear it again. It’s been too long.

“Remember when I sent you a screenshot of my lock screen?”

“Yeah, that bothered me for a while and never got it.”

“Do you still have it?”

He blushed. He does.

“What time’s on it?”

He didn’t need to check his archives for it. He knew the image by heart. The percentage of the battery, the signal bars, the little details in the photo, the date, and of course the time.

“1:43… 143.”

And after all those years of staring at it, he just got it now.

They laughed so much then fell on their knees.

“You are so corny.”

“And you’re dense.”

The sun was setting further and the way the rays of the sun lit up the old abandoned music room brought him back once more to the last time they were there. But this time, there was no anger, no pain, no regret. It was peaceful.

They got back up and stood in front of each other now.

“My mom kept telling me that there was a time and place for everything. I should have listened.” Mingyu said.

Wonwoo nodded once. “I guess she’s right.”

“Do you think, we’re at the right time and at the right place right now?”

“That depends. What for?”

“For us.”

Mingyu reached out a hand.

“To try again.”

Wonwoo reached back..

“We can’t try again.”

..and he laced their fingers together.

“We’ll start anew.”

He tugged them towards the door to leave. There were a lot of things to talk about, to catch-up on. Walking down the hall, on their way out of the old building, the hour turned golden.

“I love you.” Mingyu said as he lifted their intertwined hands to his lips.

“And I do you. I love you.” Wonwoo pulled him closer and kissed him.

There was a time and place for everything.

And finally, it was their time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally.
> 
> Last two chapters and the epilogue coming up. I'm honestly overwhelmed we're nearing the end.  
> But I am always so grateful for the love you've consistently showed the story. I'm sorry if I haven't been responding anymore to comments. But I do read them and they constantly motivate me to keep writing.
> 
> Thank you very much! 💕


	34. Chapter 34

Because he went straight to the school from the airport, they rode in Mingyu's car and Wonwoo teased him about it. It was the first time Mingyu was in the driver’s seat. For some weird reason he felt like he was taking the driver's license exam once more when his hyung kept pointing out how the mirrors were askew and how he held the steering wheel.

"Hyung, I've been driving for how many years now and I haven't died yet."

"And I don't want that to happen anytime soon so.."

He grumbled but did what he was told before driving off.

"Where are we off to?"

"I know a place."

"If wherever it is we’re going isn't a restaurant, can we get food first?" And as if on queue, Wonwoo's stomach growled. Apparently he hasn't eaten since lunch time which was the supposed hour of his flight. It didn't cross his mind to grab something to eat before heading to their school. He was berating him all throughout the drive but Wonwoo just laughed at him.

They stopped by a near café and he told his hyung to stay in the car while he bought take-out. Wonwoo was too hungry to protest but urged him to hurry. He came back with a bag full of warm sandwiches and a selection of juices and milk tea.

"Need I remind you that I am not a family to feed?” Wonwoo complained but went through the options before settling with a Turkey Ham sandwich and Warm Oolong Milk Tea.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted. And.. well, just in case you wanted more."

He didn't get any reply as Wonwoo started nibbling on his sandwich - sighing in relief here and there. Satisfied, he set the car to drive and headed to their special place.

***

The look-out hasn't changed much. But it seemed a couple of people have discovered it if the tire marks were any indication. But they were never fresh, which was a relief for Mingyu.

He hasn't been here in a while. And by a while, he meant years. He's only gone here once after college, the day after graduation just to close off that part of his life. But really, he just went there to let out how much he missed his past life - the good times and who it involved..

The very same person sitting in the passenger seat chowing down on his second sandwich.

"Stop watching me eat. Tell me what happened to you." His hyung scolded before he took a bite.

With a chuckle, Mingyu obliged.

He told him about Business School, how it was difficult because he needed to be at the top of his class or else he had his dad's wrath to face.

He told him about the friends he's made, how they were all born on the same year and went through the same sitch of studying something because they didn't really want to.

He told him his dad died, how he didn't really feel sad about it but mourned him for his mom's sake.

He told him about his ex-girlfriend, how they were supposed to be married by now if things didn't turn out the way they did.

"Jung Chaeyeon, right?" His hyung interrupted - now sipping on the remains of his second milk tea.

"How'd you know?"

"I met her."

"What? When?"

"A couple of days ago? Soonyoung and I ran into Seungcheol with his girlfriend and best friend. They invited us to lunch and who was Soonyoung to say no to free lunch when he practically owns the top dance company in the city."

And Wonwoo told him how Kyung Mi practically spilled the details about him and Chaeyeon's relationship - making sure to emphasize there was no love lost between the two of them and that they were practically siblings. She practically took command of the whole conversation at lunch but nobody complained. Wonwoo recounted how Seungcheol just let her talk and even encouraged her to keep going.. add Soonyoung who was practically asking all questions related to you and your love life.

"I may have agreed to a dinner with the gang once I "fly back." I'm not entirely sure, but she said she'd call me next week to set it-up."

"She's a force to be reckoned with." Mingyu said, heart going out to Kyung Mi for what she was planning to do for him.

"I know! I found myself checking for flights two weeks from now."

They fell quiet after that. Mingyu reached for one of the unopened bottles of juice. He didn't realize how much he talked earlier which rendered his throat dry.

"So.. a girlfriend. What was it like?” Wonwoo asked.

"I.. honestly don't know. Because she was never one to begin with. It was just a label."

"Still.. a relationship in college would be way different than the one in high school, I'd assume.”

And then he was reminded of Euwoo's post.

"I think should be asking you that question.." Mingyu started. Wonwoo looked at him from his seat, head tilted to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"You were in a relationship with someone named Daniel."

"How do you know Daniel?"

"Well.. I may have seen a post a couple of years ago by Eunwoo. He's my cousin, did you know?"

"Yeah, he mentioned it a couple of times. Daniel would tease me whenever Eunwoo was around because - as per him, I looked like I was constipated with questions and bottled up emotions.” And Wonwoo's eyes went towards the view in front of him, eyes fond and nostalgic.

_Oh.. there’s that look_ , he thought. Mingyu felt disheartened.

"Hyung.. I'm not.. you're not.. this isn't cheating, right?” He asked in a small voice, anticipating the worst.

Wonwoo’s head snapped back at him, eyes wide and incredulous.

"What in the world made you think that?"

"Well.. you and Daniel..”

“That’s an abhorrent thought, Kim Mingyu! There isn't a "Me and Daniel"!"

"Not even back in college?"

"Please, Mingyu.. I just ate. Daniel's like an annoying little brother. Him and I, we got really close because we were the only ones from the same country in our year. I'm not his type anyway.. he's currently dating Jihoon."

And with that Mingyu nearly spit his drink. Wonwoo grimaced but reached out to pat his mouth with a tissue.

"I can't believe you'd think I would cheat on someone with you! I just said I love you and you think you're a third-party.” Wonwoo said, scolding and pressing the tissue aggressively around his mouth

"I just assumed.."

"Don't assume. Ask first. Jeez, Mingyu!"

"I did!"

"No, you made an assumption saying I was in a relationship with someone named Daniel. That wasn't a question. And I honesty cannot believe you’d think I would act the way I did earlier should I be in a relationship. I’ve never acted that way while with you years back. I would never!”

Wonwoo pressed his the tissue a little too hard on the side of Mingyu’s cheek.

And the latter laughed a boisterous laugh before pulling his hyung close for a kiss, relief washing over him.

"What happens now?” He asked brazenly. The older just looked at him curious.

"Well.. what do you want?"

"You."

"Then I'm yours."

"Just like that?"

"Mingyu, I've only really ever thought about you all these years. I've.. I've tried to move on because I couldn't reach you anymore, couldn't contact you. I tried, I really did. But at the end of it all.. it's your smile I see before I fall asleep. I know this sounds crazy, borderline creepy.. but all these years I've loved you all the same. Life didn't stop for me without you, but you've lived with me all throughout.”

He reached out and laced their fingers together. They were quiet for a while as Mingyu let his hyung’s words fill him. He also thought back to all the things he went through without Wonwoo in his life.

“It’s hard to believe that it’s this easy, hyung. But in retrospect it really wasn’t. I denied myself you because I knew I wouldn’t be able to function and bear with myself. I wouldn’t be able to become the man I am today. I’ve worked hard for this, to be better despite the circumstances and I’m really not sorry I had to keep you out of my head and heart to do that. But you were always just there. And in a way, you’ve become my motivation - as bitter as it may sound, since you were doing better, I needed to do better too. But despite everything, despite finally leaving my past life and living a happy one now.. all it took was seeing you a week ago to know I still wanted you in this second life I’m given.”

With his free hand, he reached up and cupped Wonwoo’s face. The other leaned in to his touch, turning to kiss his palm before locking eyes with him.

“I’m glad you didn’t put your life on hold for me. Because look where it led you.. to better. Your life is your own, Wonwoo. I’m just lucky to be part of it.”

No more words were needed as they leaned in and sealed their words with a kiss.

***

Days, weeks, months and years have passed.

All of that were spent with Wonwoo. Well spent physically only after a couple of months because as it was, Wonwoo had a job in his alma matter as a Literature professor. But little did Mingyu know that when he had that talk where he saw him, he actually met up with the University dean before the event to talk about the offer of heading the Humanities department. After 6 months, Wonwoo was in the same country - city as he was. And they’ve been inseparable ever since.

It was too good to be true, but life was perfect the moment they got back together. Everything that’s happened from then ’til now, all the good and mostly good made Mingyu feel the same way he did years ago.. That Wonwoo was the one.

Because of Wonwoo, Mingyu in a way made peace with his past. It made it easier for him to rekindle friendships lost with Soonyoung, Jihoon, Jun and Chan. Hansol was a different story because of his on-and-off relationship with Seungkwan but it was inevitable for the two to meet-up. 

Their circle would spend weekends together, either a simple afternoon out or just a Saturday dinner whenever they could. It was reminiscent of their after school hang-outs back in high school, one of the things Mingyu admittedly missed.

He met Daniel the first month Wonwoo was back for good when they had dinner with Jihoon. The two met on their own, without Wonwoo introducing them when Daniel flew back in the country and signed with the entertainment company to which Jihoon was the top music producer. He was a nice guy. Mingyu was surprised to see Jihoon.. affectionate in a non-violent way and Wonwoo would tease him about it. Daniel would then shoot back in his boyfriend’s defense with all the embarrassing moments - dating mishaps to be specific, back in college. It was cute to see Wonwoo annoyed. But he was jealous deep down and pouted all night and eventually became the butt of the joke.

Minghao and Jun were in a working relationship.. or maybe more. Because Minghao was a pretty famous photographer and worked a lot with Jun in the past with his modeling gigs. Minghao was primarily based in China but he was more in demand here so he moved.. around the same time Jun signed an exclusive contract with a known agency.

He heard that Chankyung and Soonyoung briefly dated in college - having gone to the same Uni; but have then parted ways and remained good friends with him and Wonwoo. The rest of the gang just focused on their careers. Chan was actually one of the artistic directors in Soonyoung’s company. Seokmin and Seungkwan worked in Theatre. Hansol worked with Joshua with their family’s export business. Jeonghan had his own practice and was one of the top psychotherapist in the country.

His friends were in good places in their lives and he couldn’t be happier.

Life was so good. Life with Wonwoo was so good.

***

It was only a couple of months after he got back when they had their first date.

The first time they set an adult date, it rained so hard they couldn’t brave the rain to get to their reservation. He was supposed to pick-up Wonwoo but found himself drenched in the rain when he passed by the flower shop to pick up flowers. He decided to head home first to change and tried to call the restaurant about moving their reservation an hour later but was informed that it got cancelled.

It was a good thing he brought the flowers when he went up his apartment because when he opened the door, he saw Wonwoo in it, a dutch oven held with mitt-covered hands and an apron clumsily wrapped around him. And when he placed the oven on the dining table, the lights went off. The emergency lights from the hall allowed Mingyu to walk towards Wonwoo and gave the flowers to him. He could see his hyung blush, Mingyu was pleased.

“I thought we’d just have our first date here since the restaurant cancelled our reservation.” Wonwoo said as he set the table with candle lights

“How’d you know I’d head here before picking you up?”

“I know you well enough to know you’ll find yourself drenched somehow. And see, I’m correct.” Wonwoo said as he ran his fingers thought Mingyu’s damp hair making them stick-up funny places.

Despite being wet, Wonwoo still hugged him. They changed into more comfy clothes and ate beef stew with the flowers in vase on one side of the table and candles surrounding them. The stew was subpar according to Wonwoo since he has never cooked it until then but Mingyu ate it with gusto. It was romantic.

After that, they would do date days indoors rather than out. But when they do go out, it would be at a bookstore, a café, the park or even Mingyu’s film classes where Wonwoo would sit-in - never in fancy restaurants because they both realized it was just a bit for show.

For their first anniversary, they made love for the first time. It wasn’t unfamiliar territory for them since they’ve had experiences back in college.. but it still felt like their first time. Maybe it was - the first time they’ve ever done it full of emotions. The air was heavy with heat and passion - promises of love breathed into their skin as they moved as one.

The night went on for longer than expected, but they made sure to end it with strings of I love yous until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Funny enough, it was only when they made love the third time on a lazy Sunday morning in Mingyu’s apartment that he saw Wonwoo’s tattoo. It was on his left side, just below his chest line. Something clicked inside Mingyu and their love-making turned so passionate and raw it was unbelievably mind-blowing. He didn’t know he had that side of him. And it was surprising to know how.. primal and wild Wonwoo could get. Suffice to say, their Sunday morning wasn’t a lazy one any more.

It was only after a series of rounds that Mingyu realized what the tattoo was. It was of the stones of the bracelet he gave years ago, little circles all lined up and distinct with the designs of every piece.

“I just wanted to always have it with me - just in case something happens and I lose the actual thing.”

And maybe Mingyu did the same thing with his bracelet, on his ankle. Wonwoo hasn’t found out yet.

Life with Wonwoo was so good. He’s excited to live more of it with him.

***

It’s bee two years and Mingyu knew he was ready.

He’s been in cahoots with Kyung Mi organizing the whole thing. It was a good thing she was working in real estate. She found a nicely-sized lot in one of the subdivisions just on the outskirts of the city and had a house built about 6 months ago. It was almost complete. It was a wide bungalow that had a nice veranda overlooking a small garden out front. There was a wider backyard - wide enough to host barbecues with their friends and maybe for a dog to run around in. There was a driveway that led to a two-car garage since Wonwoo couldn’t let go of his old car from high school - Mingyu couldn’t either.

Wonwoo’s mentioned in passing that if he were to truly settle, he’d like to live in a house and not in an apartment. But Mingyu found it in no way offensive since he really wanted the same thing. The two of them were living together in his apartment after their first anniversary and it felt small for the two of them sometimes. Wonwoo had a lot of books and some of them would just be piled on the floor because there was no where else to put them. It annoyed him even more that his books were on the floor.

So Mingyu made it a priority to have multiple shelves set-up around the house just for Wonwoo’s books. He even had a mini one set-up in their soon-to-be bedroom.

“Have you bought a ring yet?” Kyung Mi asked as she stepped into the bedroom. He, Kyung Mi, Seungcheol and Jihoon were in the house setting-up the house. Mingyu has been slowly moving some of his things and even brought out some of the stuff from his childhood to partly decorate the place. He was almost done with the bedroom and the house felt practically lived-in.

“I bought everything.” Mingyu said as he looked up from where he sat on the bed that was to be his spot. He knew which side of the bed Wonwoo wanted so he had no qualms making dibs. Kyung Mi sat beside his as he pulled out two boxes. One had the engagement ring, and the other had two rings - the wedding bands. He pulled-out one to show her the engraving.

KMG x JWW 12.12.

“That’s not your anniversary.” Kyung Mi said and Mingyu laughed.

“It’s when we first confessed to each other.”

“That’s so adorable.” Kyung Mi gushed as she placed the ring back in the box. He hid that in the drawer of the bedside table. He was planning to show it to him when he said yes.

“Did you know that 12-12 apparently means something?”

“Oh?” She probed as she stood up.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of layers to it. It’s a sign of taking a chance at change for the better, or generally a sign that better days are coming. But from what I can surmise, it’s basically a sign that you’re on the right track.”

“And you are, aren’t you?”

He just grinned up at her. She ruffled his hair and took out something from her bag. It was a small frame with a picture she took of them. Mingyu smiled fondly as he was brought back to when it was taken.

“All set?”

“I already have everything planned and good to go. This was the last leg. I asked his mom to pick-out a suit for him to wear. She’ll give him the address to where you’ll all be for a “planned” fancy get together so that we have an excuse for him wearing the suit. We all know he hates it. You have to be the one to take care of him, yeah? You’ll bring him here where I’ll be waiting.”

“Wonwoo will say yes.” She nodded as she went through the plan

“I hope so.”

“This time next week, you’ll be engaged.. Hopefully.” She teased and Mingyu whined and pouted up at her. She patted his head and trailed her eyes on the other box still in Mingyu’s hand.

“Does the engagement ring have anything engraved in it?”

“Yes.”

“Can I see?”

“Nope. This is for Wonwoo’s eyes only.” Kyung Mi just laughed and headed out of the room. They were almost done and would be leaving in a couple of minutes.

Alone once more in their soon-to-be bedroom, Mingyu took out the ring and stared at it while he laid down on his side of the bed, careful not to crease it too much. The light from the window made it glimmer and Mingyu couldn’t help but feel his heart race as he read the engraving.

And as he hid the picture frame in the drawer with the wedding bands, placed the ring back in its box and put it in the inside pocket of his coat - he couldn’t help but feel how close he was to his forever.

This was it. He was ready.


	35. Chapter 35

Wonwoo was never an early riser. If any of his friends could commonly attest to something when it came to Wonwoo, it was that he was the definition of hell when woken up at a time when his body didn’t want him to. And the worst of all, he was a light sleeper. So any disruption of his sleep, no matter how minimal would always set fire to the rain.

Except if it’s from Mingyu. Of course, always the exception.

He had to be somewhere today that involved Mingyu. And as if on cue, the alarm he set for that morning blared off with a recording of Mingyu telling him to move his butt out of bed and get ready for the day because it was another day in the life they can spend together. He let it play a couple more times before it went into snooze mode. Not bothering to turn the alarm off, he went to the bathroom to shower.

Just as he stepped back into his room, already in boxer shorts and undershirt, his mother called from the other side of the door accompanied by a knock. He opened the door for her and let her in. She went straight to his closet to take out a suit.

“I had this laundered and pressed for today. I’ll text you the address when you’re about to leave.”

He just nodded at his mother. After setting the suit on his bed, she approached him and cupped his face and looked at him fondly. In an unexpected show of affection, his mom bowed a bit to kiss his forehead. Wonwoo felt his eyes close, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. They weren’t really used to it in the Jeon household.

“I love you, son.” She said quietly and left his room, not expecting a reply because she already knew he did.

His alarm snoozed again for the 4th time and he let the alarm go off until it went into snooze mode again. By the sixth snooze, he was already out of this room and on his way to the address provided by his mom.

It wasn’t a long way from his home so Wonwoo didn’t have to wade through that much traffic. About 45 minutes later, he arrived at the venue. There was valet parking available, which he would ignore on a normal basis. But he was in a rush to get to the venue that he bit the bait so to speak.

He was in an elevator now, checking his phone again to be sure of where he was supposed to go. When he heard the ding of the elevator door, he knew he was at the right place. At the end of the hallway, he saw familiar faces.. their friends and immediately wondered when they got there. All 11 of them were there, including Kyung Mi - Seungcheol’s girlfriend turned honorary best friend of Mingyu’s. They said hi and gave him supportive pats on the back and of course, Kyung Mi gave him such a warm hug that he was overwhelmed with emotion for the second time that day.

After setting him free from the confines of her hug, she linked arms with him and led him inside the room, followed by the rest of their friends. She let him go after reaching the middle of the room to go back to her boyfriend where he proceeded to wrap his arms around her tightly, tears already brimming in her eyes.

He surveyed the room first. Wonwoo saw Mingyu’s mom on one side of the room. She looked at him with fond eyes but before they could shift to anything else, he looked towards the front of the room to where Mingyu was. The love of his life, there.. surrounded by flowers. The love of his life, a boyish grin painted on his face.

The love of his life...

Mingyu...

and his photograph - framed and adorned by a ribbon, surrounded by a variety of white flowers. A stark difference to the black everyone in the room was wearing. His photograph with that boyish grin he loved so dear, immortalized... and his eyes..

His eyes.

He will never forget the last time he saw Mingyu's eyes. The moment he received the call that he got into a car accident, he rushed to the hospital. It was with little luck that the hospital was not that far. Wonwoo rushed to the emergency room and met with Mingyu’s mom who was near the area the medics were trying their best to keep Mingyu alive. His clothes were covered in blood, an immaculate suit on for on a weekend. 

The side of his head was covered in blood, some fresh, some cracked and drying. Time seemed to slow that moment as the medics rushed around, all blurred as they tried to stabilize him.

He couldn't bring himself to close his eyes but he joined his mom in silent prayer.

_"Please. Don't. Don't take him away from me.”_

The beeping of the machines around them were hard to interpret but based on the sudden rush of adrenaline of the people around him told him things were getting worse.

_"Please. I can't lose him. Please.”_

It felt like hours, standing at the foot of his bed. Still.. looking lifeless, with only a variation of beeps telling him he was still alive.  
The blur of people started to settle and things were in focus once more as he watched the medics relax their shoulders as the beeping of the machines started to slow. The doctor called on his mom and told her how they were going to proceed. The rest of the staff were still fussing around him when he approached the side of the bed. They didn't stop him.

Wonwoo reached out to hold his still hand, thoughts still reeling and convincing him that he was okay. He was going to be okay. His eyes were closed as he continued on with his silent prayer, thanking whatever Deity existed to have granted him a desperate wish. He felt a squeeze and his eyes immediately shot open to meet Mingyu's. His eyes were open and Wonwoo let out a loud sob.

Mingyu used one hand to pull down the oxygen mask.

"Wonwoo." Mingyu said, a weak but brilliant smile gracing his face. Despite the sting of tears, the older made sure not to blink. He felt his hand be squeezed once more and he squeezed back.

Mingyu closed his eyes all of a sudden and Wonwoo moved closer to cup his face, barely aware of the blood in the way of feeling his skin. The younger leaned in to it and Wonwoo felt a tear fall on his fingers.

After leaning in to his touch, he opened his eyes and tears started falling from them. He looked.. regretful. Wonwoo tried his best to keep his own eyes open but he had to blink as the tears were too much too heavy.

He will never forget the last time he saw Mingyu's eyes open. When Wonwoo opened them once more, Mingyu looked at him then with fondness. 

It was the look that he would get that would turn him into a spluttering fool. It was his favorite. He looked at him now with nothing but love as he gathered his strength to pull their held hands to his lips and kissed his.

"I love you."

Mingyu's eyes closed then.

And everything went silent.

There was nothing but ringing in his ears as somebody pulled him away from him, causing him to let go of Mingyu’s hand. He was pushed against someone as the room turned into a blur except for Mingyu.

He slowly recovered his hearing and he found himself in the same spot he was when he got there, holding on to Mingyu’s mother who was silently praying.

This time, he didn’t join her. He was still trying to wrap his head around the idea that the last three words he said... those three words which always sounded like a promise... now sounded like a goodbye.

Mingyu was gone.

Now here they were, the last day of the funeral. He held his mother, just like the last time. No silent prayers, just a resonance of wails and sobs as he stared at his photo, his smile immortalized. And his eyes... not like the last time he saw them.

There was a time and place for everything, that’s what he used to say.

And now their time was really up.

Mingyu was gone.


	36. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Through the endlessly lost, cold and cruel days, I know your name that has silently been forgotten.  
> I won’t stop, I’ll shout out several times.. Even if you’re so far that I can’t believe it
> 
> Dear Name - Pinwheel - Through The Night

Today marked the 2nd year since Mingyu passed away and Wonwoo still felt the tremendous ache of his loss.

Maybe it'll always be this way, he thought. And he didn't resist accepting it. Mingyu was, Wonwoo believed, the one.

His other half.

His destiny.

And how does one live a life knowing that they have to live the rest of it on their own? It's the recurring thought Wonwoo had on days when he was alone. His friends, bless them, have been with him all throughout and they help him live like things will be okay. They will be eventually, he knew. But he can't think that today as he drove into their - his street.. where their house was.

On the day of his accident, he was on his way here to surprise him and ask him to live the rest of his life with him. Kyung Mi was the one who brought him here together with Seungcheol. She was the one who helped Mingyu find lot and build the house and they all helped him move his stuff to make it as homey as possible despite not having lived in it yet. Mingyu practically moved into the house, with all of his belongings found therein - trophies, certificates, books, memorabilia from his youth and some personal effects.

The house was a manifestation of Mingyu and Wonwoo hadn't dared move anything ever since he moved-in. He ensured to keep his clothes and his separate in his closet, making sure his personal effects were placed carefully beside Mingyu, a setting that showed two people living together. But it was just Wonwoo in this quaint little house with Mingyu's life frozen in memorabilia. It wasn't healthy, Jeonghan would tell him whenever they visited - but none of them dared to touch any of the things that were Mingyu's neither. 

The sun was just about to set when he entered the household. He went into the kitchen to make himself some tea. Remembering Mingyu was harder this year than it was during the first year because time has allowed some of the pain to go away, only to comeback a tenfold as he stood in front of his grave holding Mingyu's mom to his right. Their friends were behind them grieving their own way. Wonwoo stood there just letting the tears flow. At that moment he went back to the first anniversary of his death. Wonwoo was on the ground, crying and wishing he would come back as he repeatedly stroked his name on the headstone. They had spent such little time together after having resolved their past. Only a short while, only to be taken away from him just like that.

He wished he was braver then.

Wished he didn't waste any time.

He wished he wasn't gone.

And Mingyu's mom knelt beside him and held him in her arms as she repeatedly asked for forgiveness for the past that brought them apart. He held on to her so much as he cried harder and harder into the day.

His wishes have not changed.

The whistling of the kettle brought him back to the present and he pushed himself from the counter to attend to making his tea.

He brought his cup to the couch and waited for it to cool. He looked around and despite never having been in this house with him, he could still see where he would sit.

Wonwoo could see Mingyu fussing around the shelves, ensuring that his mementos were set-up nicely.

He could see Mingyu wearing a bandana and an apron looking like an old auntie going around the house, big fluffy duster in one hand.

He could see him, lying down on the couch, legs dangling over the arm rest and head resting on his lap.

He could see it.. imagine it. And it’s moments like these he hated the most. Because for a second he’d forget it wasn’t real.

And without surprise, the tears came back.

Two years.. he’s lived two years without Mingyu and now he found himself wishing it could be easier.

_“I’m glad you didn’t put your life on hold for me. Because look where it led you.. to better. Your life is your own, Wonwoo. I’m just lucky to be part of it.”_

He’s played that line in his head countless of times in the past - but today it hit different. He wondered how Mingyu would feel if he saw him now..

He was sure to be disappointed, wasn’t he?

And in response, the wind made the wind chimes hanging by the window tinkle.

_Mingyu, you’d want me to move on wouldn’t you?_

Another chime, the wind blowing exactly to hit the higher-pitched bars.

_I wish I didn’t have to._

And another chime, the wind blowing to hit the lower-pitched bars.

He looked around once more.. allowed himself his little visions of Mingyu around their house while sipping his tea.

Once done, he stood up and moved towards the shelves and started moving their stuff - an empty box by his feet.

***

He finally finished with the stuff in the living room. Just a couple of photos with them and their friends and a few trinkets here and there. The last leg of this venture was the bedroom - which had almost all of Mingyu's stuff lying around.

Another empty box at hand, he sat on the floor by Mingyu’s supposed side of the bed. He hasn’t laid in it in the two years he’s lived here. Yes, no matter which state he was in when falling asleep - drunk or tired, Mingyu’s side of the bed was always left untouched. And even though he was sorting things out, he still can’t bring himself to touch the bed. That’s why he sat on the floor while rummaging through his bedside table.

The lower cabinet didn’t really have much in it. There were two boxes of reusable film cameras with a couple of film canisters and some photography magazines. He didn’t think much of it really.

The drawer was another story.

There, he found the box that Kyung Mi’s told him about. How Mingyu was so sure he’d say yes, he bought the wedding bands already. He’s seen them once, and only through photo from Jihoon who went with him when he bought them. He couldn’t handle the fact that there were two rings and only one of him to wear it and never dared to touch it. So he settled for the engagement ring that was found on his person the day of the accident.

It was as simple as the wedding bands, but the engagement ring had a different engraving.

The bands had both their names and the date they first said they liked each other.

The engagement ring had only two words..

_My forever._

He debated whether to move it somewhere else or just leave it there. Because according to Kyung Mi, this was the last thing he’s touched in the house. Wonwoo wasn’t ready for that yet.

So he just pulled the drawer further back to check the remaining contents and he found only one other item.

It was a picture of them laughing among a mini field of Pinwheels. 

Wonwoo was immediately taken back to that day. 

It was a random trip that they had with their friends just a couple of years back. They all decided to take a drive out into the country side. There was no destination set, it was just Kyung Mi telling Seungcheol to drive Southeast on a random weekend and as a whipped lover boy, he obliged and brought the whole gang with him on the escapade.

They were the last to join them because Mingyu had to attend a conference and Wonwoo had papers to go-through for a presentation the following week. On top of that, they were further delayed when Kyung Mi asked them to buy food along the way because the set they prepared wasn't enough to feed the whole gang. 

A variety of sandwiches, cakes and a couple of bottles of coffee, juice and water in hand, they reached the destination. It wasn't a defined pin on the map, they were just instructed by Seungcheol to keep driving down the main road until they reach a long clearing. They'll see their cars parked along a small entry road that led to a field. It wasn't hard to spot since there weren't any trees along the road. 

The afternoon was spent under an isolated canopy of trees along the clearing, just a few ways from a field that had a lot of pinwheels stuck to them. One of the locals who approached them and welcomed them told them that this was a pretty popular stop-over for people going on drives. The locals decided to decorate a patch of land with some of the locally made pinwheels the kids made during arts and crafts at school. It was so charming it wasn't hard to spot.

It was probably one of Wonwoo's favorite memories with the group... and with Mingyu as well. After having had their fill of food, the conversations started dying out when they clustered into groups of people who just slept, who decided to just listen to music and people who decided on some physical activity like catch. The sun wasn't hot and the breeze was cool on their skin that Mingyu and Wonwoo decided to take a walk. They made their way to the pinwheels and saw a small bench in the middle of it and decided to spend a little bit of time there.

As they were walking towards it, they heard Kyung Mi call for them. She was just a couple of steps behind them and when they turned, she saw her click the camera she was holding. They laughed and another click. And they finally posed for the photo. There were three sets of photos but the one he found framed in their house was the second one. Wonwoo felt a tug at his chest but he smiled, because he could still hear his laugh from the photo.

Wonwoo could still remember that specific conversation he had with Mingyu in the field of pinwheels.

_“You know,” Mingyu started but he paused when a gentle breeze blew past and his hair started dancing with it. He smiled and looked over to Wonwoo who had his eyes closed. “..I think I’ll always wait for you.”_

_Wonwoo furrowed his brows and turned to him with a slightly annoyed look. He hated it whenever Mingyu would start conversations that would imply a future where they weren’t together.. after everything they’ve been through. He had half a mind to flick his forehead but settled with a hard look. Mingyu chuckled and made to smooth over the creases between his brows with his thumb._

_“I mean, you really shouldn’t take this negatively. In a way, it’s me coming to the realization that your place in my heart will never be replaced.” Mingyu turned his head up to the sky, a somewhat peaceful look settling on his face. Wonwoo’s breath hitched at the sight, but he didn’t say anything knowing that Mingyu was going to add more to that._

_“And when there are tough times, I’ll think to myself that I’ll always wait for you and that will make things instantaneously better.”  
Wonwoo snorted and reached up to ruffle his hair. Mingyu unconsciously leaned in to the touch, and he started feeling warm inside._

_“You aren’t making sense,” he said._

_“I don’t know,” Mingyu replied, looking pensive. “I can’t really explain it well enough for it to be poetic. But it’s like.. always waiting for you will always remind me of how you make me feel and how I’m so full of those feelings which would probably last me a lifetime. And I know, especially in moments like this, that you’re the only one who will ever make me feel this way.. In the end, waiting would be enough because it’s you I’m waiting for.”_

_“You still aren’t making sense.” Wonwoo declared. That earned him another chuckle and his signature boyish grin that had Wonwoo thinking of how he would make all ends meet for Mingyu. Come hell or high waters, he would always go to him whether he’s waiting or not._

_In a rare show of affection, Wonwoo clasped their hands, laced their fingers and squeezed that promise into his palm._

_The breeze blew gently and made the flowers sway lazily. They watched the scene play for a while before Mingyu brought their hands to his lips._

_He squeezed back._

Yet here he was now, in a world without a Mingyu waiting for him.. In a world where there was no Mingyu to go to.

***

Emotionally drained from all the memories that kept flooding him with half of Mingyu's stuff he's had to go through, he gathered the last of his strength and sat in front of the mini library set-up by the bay window in their bedroom. It was half-filled when he first came into the house - with Mingyu's books occupying the bottom row.

Despite the overwhelming sadness, Wonwoo had to laugh at the sight. On his shelf were all of the books he recommended, some he lent and others were bought. It was easy to tell which ones were new because the pages haven't as yellowed as much as the ones he's lent did. Mingyu wasn't that much of a reader. He would have his moments when impulse would make him buy a book that he recommended and he'll read it for a couple of hours but forget about it the next day.

_"Why do you even buy books if you're not gonna read them?"_

_"It's good to have them handy on dates."_

_"You don't read on dates."_

_"I know. But I know you do. And I want to have a date, or even just a moment when we're just sitting there and I'm just reading with you. Just like in the movies.”_

They never got to do it though, and the fondness he felt for the memory turned into an ache. He sighed.

Wonwoo took the books out one by one, blowing off the dust that's collected after being untouched for too long. He brought the books and sat down by the bay window, dry cloth in hand to wipe them off. He went through the pages while wiping them, somewhat annoyed and comforted that Mingyu wrote on them with little notes. Sometimes it would be their names. Sometimes it would just be his. Wonwoo would graze over the part where his name was written and he would feel another batch of tears forming.

It was now nine in the evening and he didn't realize he skipped dinner. There was one book left to clean but he decided to grab something to eat and maybe drink some tea to calm him down.

He nearly forgot about the last book when he decided to take a shower before sleeping. He only realized when he pulled the blankets from the bed when he was thinking which book to read. There was a slight apprehension on his end because he wasn't sure which notes to find in this book because it wasn't one that he lent. He was just too drained at that point. But, he was going to cry himself to sleep anyway so might as well have that all in one blow.

He reached for the book and just noticed that it was bulky. He flipped through the pages until it split open to reveal something tucked between pages. Wonwoo also noticed the page number in which it was tucked, further down into the book. _Wow, he read this much_ , he thought and he had to smile. He grabbed what was placed between the pages and wondered what it was that Mingyu used as a bookmark when he realized... it was a letter.

Book dropped on the bed and forgotten, his hands shook violently as he tried to carefully open the piece of folded paper and he had to stop himself from wailing. He didn't want to cry. He didn't want his tears to blur his vision while reading or risk falling on the paper to blot the ink.

It was a letter, dated not too far back from the day he passed away.

With a deep breath, Wonwoo started reading the letter.

——— 

_Wonwoo,_

_Never would I have expected to write you a letter while in the throes of reading a book. But here I am, luckily with some of your stationery lying around, penning a letter for you because of this book._

_You’ll be surprised to find out that I am finally reading this way. Though I have to point out for my reputation’s sake that I am capable of reading a book. I’m just really busy to start reading for fun.. Or I have better things to do. But that’s beside the point. I started reading this book you recommended months ago and I intend to finish it._

_The reason why I’m writing to you in the middle of this is because of the particular part in which you will find this letter tucked._

_It says here that we live four lives: A life of planting seeds, a life of watering the seeds, a life of harvesting and a life of cherishing the harvests._

_I’ve never really given reincarnation any thought up until this book. And I’m giving it more thought than usual because.. well, there’s you._

_The thought of living four lives is comforting. After all that we’ve been through together and apart, I hope this is our first lifetime. And I want it to be our first so much more if I get to meet and be with you in all of my remaining lives._

_I’m sure you know this as I have said it time and time again.._

_Jeon Wonwoo, you are my first love._

_And if this form of reincarnation were true, and I have 3 more lifetimes to live .. I ardently hope that you be my last love in my last life._

_With this book as my witness, I promise you as I’ve promised in our little field of pinwheels that I will always wait for you._

_I hope to see you in the next as I make the most of this life with you._

_I love you. For sure in this lifetime. For always in the next. For ever in the rest._

_I love you._

_Yours,_

_Kim Mingyu_

———

He remembered wanting Mingyu to read this book to talk about it with him in the hopes he could maybe change his mind. Because Wonwoo, despite being a closeted romantic, did not believe in another life.

Maybe this was fate’s way of telling him that it really wasn’t real. This was all he needed to hear about the subject.

But as the night grew deeper and he was left with the faint sound of a song playing from the record player in the living room with the letter in his hand, he allowed himself one small what if.

What if there really was another life and one where Mingyu was waiting for him?

He could go all night, imagining all the possibilities that little “what if” brought. But he stopped himself before it got out of hand and he was once more a heaving mess with nobody but himself to pick him up.

But the thought of Mingyu waiting for him in the next life, whether they relive this life or live a totally different one.. maybe even one where they never cross paths brought a weird sense of comfort to him.

Because at least there’s another life with a Kim Mingyu in it.

And like in Mingyu’s letter, with a promise witnessed by a book.. Wonwoo, with Mingyu’s letter as his witness, promised Mingyu as he’s promised in their little field of pinwheels that he would always come to him whether he was waiting or not.

“‘Til the next lifetime, Kim Mingyu. I love you.”

Wonwoo tucked the letter back into where he found it and placed the book on the bedside table before settling in bed - deciding to sleep on Mingyu's supposed side of the bed.

For the first time in two years, Wonwoo fell asleep without tears in his eyes.. the faint sound of a song playing from a record player singing him to sleep.

_Tonight, I’ll send you the firefly from that day  
To your windowThat means that I love you._

Some where, some time.. the wind blew past and a pinwheel spun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a journey.
> 
> I am honestly sad this is over, but also happy to have been able to finish it. There were times when it hurt me too much to the point of not wanting to go on.. But the story needed to be told and here we are, finally at the end.
> 
> Thank you to SEVENTEEN for being a source of so much inspiration and for being muses who brought this story to life.
> 
> Thank you to all of you who have read and showed love to this tale. It warms my heart so much to know that you were with me all throughout the story of Wonwoo and Mingyu in this alternate universe.
> 
> Let me know what you think.. or you know, curse me on twitter @jwwbkdngri .


End file.
